June Goals: Habit Training

A lot of people have been talking about the power of habits on podcasts lately. Could I tell you which ones? Of course not because I didn't write it down when I was listening. Common knowledge is that we only have so much willpower to go around so if we have well-established habits we do those things without thinking. That allows us to save our willpower for something else, like eating chocolate cake.

Homemaking habits have saved me with small children. Washing the dishes as soon as we eat, starting a load of clothes first thing in the morning, and cleaning the kitchen before I go to bed all contribute to a smoothly running home. I've had personal habits for some time. I just get up in the morning and fix my hair and put on makeup. It's not always fancy but I'm presentable every single day. I've also started a new exercise "program" that I'm trying to make a habit. It does involve running in the morning so you know, it's less motivating than some things.

I've been trying to establish creative habits this year. So far I seem to have conquered writing every day and my weekly sketches. (And every day means at least 500 words a day, excluding Sundays.) I've been practicing the piano pretty much every day for five years but the piano lessons have helped me focus on what I'm practicing. That makes a difference too.

For June I want to add one new creative habit. I'm going to do one ten minute sketch a day (I always take Sundays off), excluding Tuesdays because I want to do my 20 minute #52for2015 sketch that day. Is this art fancy? No, it's certainly not. But my piano playing five years ago was less than fancy; it was horrid. And now I can play fairly competently. So in five years I could drastically improve my drawing skills as long as I don't let bad art stop me now. Everyone (with the exception of some prodigies) starts out doing things badly. You get better with practice.

I'm going to divide my page into four squares and do one square a day. I've actually been doing this for the past week or so to make sure it was realistic for life in this season and it seems to be. This exercise has actually been something I've looked forward to doing every day since I started working on it. At the moment I'm going to go with similar themes on each page like I did on the one pictured here.

Then a few other June goals.

1. Two reading lessons a week with Micah.
2. Finish memorizing Psalm 19 with the boys.
3. Go on one out-of-the-house date with Justin. We missed this for the first time this year last month.
4. Lay groundwork for a new project. (Was that mysterious enough?)

So what about you? What habits do you have that help your life? What habits would you like to start? Pick one and try it this month.

Why I Hate Piano Lessons

I've had two months of piano lessons and I have a confession. I hate piano lessons. 

Wait, what? 

Just hang with me for a minute, ok? I took piano lessons for several years when I was in elementary school. Then I didn't play until five years ago. I started playing again as an adult when I was pregnant with Micah. For the past five years I've been working along with some help from my pastor's wife. 

Then I started taking lessons. And you know what I found out? I'm worse than I thought I was. Now understand I wasn't laboring under any delusions about my abilities. But the things I only thought were wrong before I KNOW are wrong now, along with a few others. It's uncomfortable. 

That's where I want to be because that's where growth can happen. If you don't know what you need to work on, you can't work on it. If you don't know where your weak areas are you can't get any stronger. I've known for a while now that I needed someone to tell me "fix this" and "work on that" when it comes to my playing. Now I have it. I don't take piano lessons to make me feel good about myself. I take them to make me a better pianist. 

When I went to my first lesson I decided I wasn't going to be (too) nervous about playing for my teacher. You know why? Because I'm not there to impress her. I'm not there for her to think I'm great. I'm there to learn. That's it. That pep talk really helped. Maybe you need it for something you are supposed to be doing and learning. 

There are three things I'm going to do for my piano lessons. 

1. Work hard. I'm going to work hard at my "homework." I don't get to practice a whole lot but I do practice regularly and I'll work hard at what I'm doing. 

2. Show up. I can't quit because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't quit because it was easier to think better of my playing before lessons. I have to show up to get better. 

3. Be teachable. I can't decide that my way is better or I don't need the help in certain areas. I'm there to learn. I'm there to be corrected and shown a better way. 

The same lesson is true for church. I could convince someone that piano lessons are still good for me even if they make me uncomfortable. Most people would agree with that. But it would be harder to convince someone that the same is true of church. We go to church for community and comfort and to make ourselves feel better. But what if that's not the point? What if the point is not to feel comfortable but to be uncomfortable? What if we should go to be confronted with our sin and corrected in life? 

That changes our attitude about church, doesn't it? Suddenly when the sermon pricks our hearts we can see that even though it's uncomfortable and it doesn't make us feel good about ourselves it is a very good thing. If we respond then we can be better than what we are right now. Not on our own certainly. But Christ lives in us and He wants to make us more like Him. That may mean scraping away ourselves so that there is room for Jesus. 

When it comes to life, get comfortable being uncomfortable. That's where you learn. That's where you grow. 

March Goals

My set time for "winter" goals is over! Does that mean it's spring now? Unfortunately I think not since there are two inches of fresh snow outside while I'm writing this. 

Winter goals went pretty well. Writing down what I wanted to accomplish and putting it out here really helped. There's something to be said for that accountability story even if I didn't expect anyone to be calling me out. 

1. Lose 7ish pounds. 

2. Once a month out-of-home dates. 

We did this for December and January. We didn't get out by ourselves in Februrary but we did take the whole family out several times. (Like how I only crossed out part of it?)

3. Marriage book club. 

This is in progress!

4. Read two books on mothering. Ok, this one was technically a fail. I didn't finish any motherhood books. However I did read bits and pieces of several motherhood books so I'm not writing it off completely. 

5. Start preschool. 

6. Attend Influence Network classes. 

7. Piano!  

New Goals. 

I was having problems processing goals for spring (March-May) so I decided to just work on March. There is no perfect way to set goals after all. As things become habits I am leaving them off the goals list: for instance, writing, regular piano practice and lessons, working in Photoshop, etc. 

1. One Dr. Pepper a week. And let's get specific- I'm going to drink it on Monday nights when I'm going my "book club." I love Dr. Pepper but it's a little out of control and it's not like they are good for me. 

2. Keep consistent workouts. My aim is consistency. I have a great pinboard of workouts that I actually use. I know people hate on Pinterest for creating discontentment but I really use the content I have pinned. (Funny how different things pose problems for different people.) 

3. Creativity series on blog. That's right! On Thursday I'm going to start sharing some ideas on creativity. It's something I've been working on nurturing in my own life and I've been reading and studying about it this year. I thought I would share some of that with you! 

4. Homeschool: pencil skills with Micah- 3x a week (process, not outcome)

     -review alphabet

     -letter sounds- E, F, G (need to find little reminder songs or fingerplay- know any?)

5. One outside date- no kids.

6. Read Growing Great Kids and Great Expectations. What I didn't mention is that I read two Jane Austen books and part of Great Expectations since the first of the year. All in the time it takes me to feed the baby before bed. Justin's typically home and the older boys are watching George and eating a snack so I've been reading a few pages every night. 

So there we have it! Some of my work for March. What are you working on this month? 

Linking up with The Tiny Twig! 

Write Your Story: 4 Ways to Incorporate Writing into Your Daily Life

Right now I'm reading through Elisabeth Elliot's "The Shaping of a Christian Family." When her mother was growing old her children gave her a notebook and asked her to start writing down stories from her life. She took a page per vignette and shared a lovely history of their family.  Her mom's stories are featured prominently in Elliot's book. Would she have even been able to write the book without her mom's stories? 

Live your life. Write your story. 

When you write something down, you are leaving a message that future generations can read. Even if you find this part of your story boring your children, grandchildren, spiritual children may be inspired by your faithfulness or encouraged by your failures. Your story is worth telling. 

"I do not write to be understood, I write to understand." C.S. Lewis 

My goal is to write five hundred words a day every day except Sundays. I have yet to run out of things to write. The more I write the more ideas I have. The more ideas I have the more I write. It's a never ending circle. Writing helps me clarify my thoughts. Writing allows me to see solutions and possibilities I was overlooking. Writing provides many psychological benefits and many successful people make time for writing. 

Often when I'm writing I write things that surprise me. I don't realize that I think a certain way until I'm staring at the words. Something about giving voice to your thoughts also gives them substance, sometimes even newness. I want to be writing as I go through life. It's how I process. It's how I remember. It's how I understand.  

You may have no intention of blogging, writing a book, or making your story public. Find a notebook and start writing anyway. You can sort through your emotions about a rough time or you can record happy memories for a rainy day. 

Ways to incorporate writing into daily life

1. Start small. Jot down something funny your child said in a journal or Evernote page. Write one fun/exciting/sad occurrence of each day in your planner. 

2. Be consistent, but don't quit when you miss. Write for five minutes when you get up or before you go to bed. Miss a day? Miss 20 days? Just start again. Don't let the angst of having messed up keep you from ever starting again. (That applies to way more than just writing.)

3. Make it meaningful. Write letters to your husband, child, or other loved one. Write the statements you're not brave enough to say aloud. 

4. Send a note. Mail delights people. Thank you notes are marvelous. Learn to compliment people and speak about the beauty within them. (Even if you have to look really hard for it.)

Writing may be the spark you need to pursue a dream. Writing might leave your story for when you're gone. Writing may encourage someone else to continue on with their work. 

Do you write regularly? Do you share it with others? 

The Three-Fold Impact of Today

Imagine you're standing in a beautiful field, looking out over a clearing. Maybe you are balancing in a rainforest  or maybe you're standing on a beach. Maybe you are surrounded by mountains dotted with majestic pines or maybe you're encircled by cacti and desert sand. In your hands you are holding a blueprint for the house of your dreams. The house you will leave behind when you die.

This can be a brick house, a white farmhouse, a small cottage. God made us all different. We look different, talk different, and have different talents. But the the basics of the blueprint are the same.  Where do I find this blueprint? In the Bible of course. Naturally some of this is found in the areas of the Bible that speak directly to women: Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5, Titus 2. But most of it is found throughout the Bible in every spot that tells us how to live a life that pleases God. That's the blueprint. 

For the rest of our story we're going to picture a brick house. 

Every day is a brick. It will take a lifetime to build this house, this legacy. There are no shortcuts, no pre-assemblies allowed. No way to go back and make up for what was wasted. Every single day I get the chance to either put a brick into place in my house or to throw the brick away. Every day starts with one choice. Will I build my house that day or will I tear it down?

Imagine if I lived my life and wasted three days a week. Imagine if I spent them on me and idle pleasures. Or even spent them on good work that wasn't what God intended for me. Almost every other brick would be missing! What kind of house would that build?  One that might not even stand. If I waste those three days how focused could the other four days possibly be? None of my life would add up to what it could have been.  "What could have been" is the epitaph I don't want.  

We need more than bricks to build a house. We're going to need mortar. We have to hold those days together with some kind of glue. A vibrant relationship with Jesus is the only glue that will hold a life together. I don't mean simply being a Christian; I mean spending time with Jesus, learning and loving Him.  The Bible says that without Jesus I can do nothing. I am nothing on my own. All my best efforts will amount to a house that will fall over at the slightest bump because it will just be bricks stacked up, nothing holding them in place. I must follow Jesus every day. 

I don't just want walls of brick and mortar. I want all the extra things that make a house beautiful, that make it a welcoming place. The paint colors, the porch shutters, the wide windows. That going the extra mile. The graciousness when I'm tired. The extra work that I don't have to do but that God equipped me to do. The living by the spirit of the law and not just the letter.  The little things that beautify my life now are what will make my legacy outstanding. That aim for excellence that makes a person stand out is what adds the extra touches to a life.  The smiles, the kindness, the strength to hold to convictions. 

Of course they say that people remember how you finish, not how you start. Jesus is the foundation. You don't have a chance at building a house that lasts without Him. But if at the end of your life you stop serving Jesus and stop adding bricks to your house, it will be a sad reminder to everyone else that you quit. Your house will stand only partially finished until Jesus returns. That's not the legacy I want to leave. 

What I do today has a three-fold impact. Putting my brick on my house allows God to bless me today. (God always blesses obedience.) Putting my brick on my house will leave a legacy for future generations. Putting my brick on my house is how I build a work that lasts for eternity.

Will I build my house with my brick today or will I throw it away? 

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1

For the New Year: My Heart for 2015

These middle of the night baby feedings are becoming times for me to scratch out ideas and thoughts from a sleepy brain. I'm pretty fuzzy then but the other night I start really thinking about what I wanted to pursue and jotted down a few ideas. So for a short glimpse of my heart for 2015-  I desire...

-To have a heart for my Savior. A heart that rises up in the morning and focuses on God and who he is and what He wants for me and from me.

-To embrace my femininity with high heels and kindness if we are going out and bare feet and a smile if we are staying in. 

-To love my husband and be on his side. To grasp his vision for family and life and turn it into something beautiful and breathtaking. 

-To see my children and reach them where they are and not where I want them to be.

-To pursue a vibrant version of me- one immersed in the gifts and callings of this season of life and the work it entails. 

-To love my Savior out of response for all He has done for me and let that love pour out into everything I do. 

-To make time for people because I am focused on others and not myself; to step out of my comfort zone and act on what they need.  

-To pursue my work with excellence and passion; learning new skills and using them to benefit others. 

-To be different in appearance, in heart, in word, in action from a woman who does not know Christ. 

The fact that I'm a woman doesn't make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I'm a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.  Elisabeth Elliot

14 Things I Learned in 2014

I thought I hadn't learned anything of consequence this year but that's nonsense of course. I love blogging because it's a great reminder of what's happened in life. So here you are, in no particular order, fourteen things I've learned this year. (And a recap of what we've done in pictures.)

Broke in the winter playing in the snow

1. Being a Godly woman does not mean I can't be capable.  I can handle money appropriately, learn new skills, and confidently- from a place of obedience- help others.

11 weeks pregnant

2. Nobody thinks about me as much as I think about me. And I'd like to change that. Not so others think of me more but that I think of myself less.

Micah turned four

3. Doing this work that God has given me is not second nature. Matter of fact, it goes against my nature.

We spent most of spring and summer outside playing in the dirt

4. For whatever reason, approaching 30 has changed the way I think about what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. 30 is legit adulthood, folks.

Vacation at the beach

5. Paper planners are the way to get things done, for me at least. I bought one and used it every single day this year.

Kevin turned two

6. Every area I want to grow in starts in my relationship with Christ. I can't pick one area to focus on without majorly dropping the ball in others but if I work at being the woman God wants me to be He can tend to the separate functions.

31 weeks pregnant

7. Limits are good. There is room for art in everyday life.

After Caleb's amnio to test him for IVA

8. I can always obey. No matter how I feel or where I am.

Justin went on a work trip to the Pentagon

9. Hard days can be good days. In fact, most good days are filled with hard work and hard decisions.

Caleb was born on Halloween

10. When you are having a new baby a little planning makes all the difference. Prepare your home, your family, and your spirit.

I joined the Influence Network and started taking classes

11. All the important work is just small work done repeatedly, passionately, and faithfully. It's load after load of laundry, meal after meal cooked, tiny temperatures taken, kind words spoken.

Family of five

12. My attitude and motive in disciplining my kids matters more than just what I do.

Spent the year working in our church's music ministry

13. Being a mom, for me at least, has gotten easier as we've had more children.

We ran away for the day to celebrate our seventh anniversary

14. Love is going the second mile when you didn't feel like going the first. Marriage matters. 

What have you learned this year? On to 2015! 

Winter Goals

Winter should be one of my favorite times of the year. There's Christmas, our anniversary, and my birthday in there, even if they are squished into one two and a half week span. Instead winter is my least favorite season. It's dark. It's cold. I love sunshine and playing outside with the boys. This year, in an effort to put my least favorite season to work for me, I decided to set some winter goals.

Now goals are different from resolutions, at least in my book. It's really all in the definitions. Resolutions must wait for New Year's and generally don't change your life because you quit about two weeks in. Who wants to even bother? But goals are actionable steps that you can take to change your life. I worked quite steadily through some goals last year and it helped me focus on purposeful work.

A few months ago I talked about where I wanted to be when I turn 30. I won't just magically get there. It will involve working toward those goals day after day. A little work today and a little work tomorrow. 

My winter goals this year are for December through February. I may keep setting goals in three month cycles that coincide with the seasons and different family schedules; this might be a genius idea. I'll tell you in a year. I did have one exciting goal that popped up a couple of days ago and doesn't start until January. But I have been working on it in various forms for a few years and I'll tell you about it last. 

Winter Goals: (in no particular order of importance but grouped by category which are listed as well)

1. Lose 7ish pounds. (personal) Let's say "adios" to the last of that baby weight, shall we? That probably means saying "goodbye" to snacking on chocolate chips. Sad day. 

2. Once a month out-of-home dates. (marriage) We do weekly Friday night dates at home but for these three months of winter we are going to prioritize getting out of the house by ourselves (with baby Caleb probably) once a month. Of course this month it will be to celebrate our anniversary! Seven years, people. I'm starting to feel a tad old.

3. Marriage book club. (marriage/friendship) A friend of mine and I worked through a motherhood book back in the fall and it was so refreshing to get another perspective on the work. This time we are going to use a marriage book and read through it together and discuss what we can apply to our lives. Informal and fun, but very helpful. Ever done anything like that?

4. Read two books on mothering. (motherhood) I have two picked out and I've read them before. But they are good and I guarantee I don't remember everything they said. 

(Am I intentionally not telling you names of the books? Yes. Email me if you want to know but the particular book doesn't matter. Learn something on what's important to you! Use what you have if you don't want to spend money.)

5. Start preschool again mid-January. (motherhood/homeschool) Our homeschool co-op will start back then and Caleb will be almost three months old. Seems like a good starting place. Although I must admit we haven't totally stopped the past weeks, just scaled way back. 

6. Join The Influence Network. (personal grad school) Start attending the free monthly class. Done and done for this month. I got to attend two free classes this month because I got a free class for being a new member. They were both amazing and I took copious notes. 

And the one that surprised me at how quickly it worked out but excites me the most...

7. Start piano lessons in January! (personal grad school) I've been working at piano for five years as an adult and have always thrown around the idea of taking lessons again. So starting in January I'll be taking lessons from a lady that I worked with ages ago at our local university. I am super pumped about this one because I was having a hard time setting goals for my piano work. 

How do you set goals? Do you wait until the New Year? Does that approach work for you? What are you working on now?