tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28582134125584799652024-02-07T05:01:41.959-05:00Delighting in my DaysUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger675125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-35680044578941565892015-11-14T00:48:00.003-05:002015-11-16T23:08:29.949-05:00My New Location<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM42IL1fMb-tkuPe82l5WximhzqTe2qo6pjjlJGXhDamJxLKWb-fzFMxfVfXRiP6K-HZV6Zjvdi1EZKRs8JlJsCSPI1Kdr7hZ6CePOO6X7N7PJUdysY5iB3Lrzto4HjB8NjQG_dvuB5pWv/s1600/creative-869200_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM42IL1fMb-tkuPe82l5WximhzqTe2qo6pjjlJGXhDamJxLKWb-fzFMxfVfXRiP6K-HZV6Zjvdi1EZKRs8JlJsCSPI1Kdr7hZ6CePOO6X7N7PJUdysY5iB3Lrzto4HjB8NjQG_dvuB5pWv/s400/creative-869200_1920.jpg" width="400" /></a>Hey, hey friends!<br />
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My blog has moved! I finally bit the bullet and bought my own domain and from now on you can find me there.<br />
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<a href="http://www.lisahensley.me/">www.lisahensley.me</a><br />
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Occasionally I'm a little more sentimental than I think and this is one of those time. I'm going to miss this old blogger platform; I've used it for almost five years. But there comes a time when you have to move on.<br />
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I hope you'll join me at my new space- same topics, same focus, different website.<br />
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Thanks for reading!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-33735203133057864442015-11-12T06:00:00.000-05:002015-11-12T06:00:05.906-05:00Pick Your Place<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pick your place. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I heard that somewhere recently- probably on a podcast- and it stuck in my mind like a fencepost. I think we need those markers for important issues so we can revisit them occasionally. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8GTEQTBvGGlp8LtOUcmI18MXa8NrVxDnVoytMLMK74zc9loxegheLovlKhcJsVB_5egzqB-zVfgzA7Jp_wWLdLI3UztUOSHeTQtfiIjKOi5tE91pk3aDVw-ks-r7dnRgH6Z_Mn45G4PeZ/s1600/girl-690614_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8GTEQTBvGGlp8LtOUcmI18MXa8NrVxDnVoytMLMK74zc9loxegheLovlKhcJsVB_5egzqB-zVfgzA7Jp_wWLdLI3UztUOSHeTQtfiIjKOi5tE91pk3aDVw-ks-r7dnRgH6Z_Mn45G4PeZ/s400/girl-690614_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I don't mean pick the place where you want to be. I don't mean pick your place like you pick your flavor of popsicle at VBS. (Never mind- they gave you a flavor and you didn't whine. If you were lucky, someone would want to trade for your lime or watermelon.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I mean pick YOUR place. Pick that place where you are now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Of course this is assuming that you are trying to follow God's will for your life. And I assume that most of you are because otherwise I would become obnoxious quickly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pick it. Change your mindset from "I'm stuck here" to "I choose here." And before you tell me "I can't do that; it's not that simple" see me over here nodding my head saying, "Yes. You can do this." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Do you see the <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/05/mind-and-marriage.html" target="_blank">difference that choice can make</a>? Pick your place in your marriage. Pick your place in raising your kids, in your work, in your ministries. Stop fantasizing about where you would like to be and invest in where you are. Do the work in front of you instead of wishing for something different. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If this is where God wants you, get on board. It's never wise to think we know better than God- that our ideas are better, our plans more established (Isaiah. 55:8-9). We are much better off to get on board with God even if we don't like where His train is going or what car we have to ride in or that there's smoke blowing in our face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The other night I stood in the kitchen holding a three-year-old who had gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom. He was waiting on my husband to finish some work (some of that IT stuff is time sensitive) so he could show his daddy his pumpkin. Hamburgers were waiting on the counter because my husband and I were going to eat a late dinner/watch a show before he had to work with a consultant. And I realized there was no greater work. There was no greater ministry than right there in my kitchen with the laundry waiting in the washer and dirty pans on the stove and the child that's supposed to be sleeping. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That can be harder to remember when you're driving down the interstate and someone asks "What's people doing?" about every single car you pass and you answer "They are driving down the interstate too" 52,00 times before you drive the 20 miles to Aldi. Or when you break up the repeated fights, clean up the potty accidents, and roll out of bed to get the crying baby. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pick your place. If you can remember that the crying baby, the questioning three-year-old, and the can-I-only-use-scissors-and-nothing-else kindergartener are your place, your ministry, your work, it's easier to do it well. Not perfectly, of course, but well. It fixes a lot of the heart problems that we can carry around that make us act like crazy people. It cuts off the eye rolls and the sighing and the complaining. It brings joy to the midst of the chaos. </span></div>
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It's not your only work. No one is only a mother. You're a woman. Maybe a wife. You might be an employee, a writer, a musician, a doctor. Your questioning three-year-old may be an annoying co-worker or the group project in the class you didn't want to take anyway. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Pick your place. If that's where God wants you, you don't want to move. No matter how nice you envision another place being. </span><span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;">No matter what dreams you hold in your heart. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;">No where is better for you than where you are. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-72777705965612734282015-11-11T06:00:00.000-05:002015-11-11T06:00:00.824-05:00Episode 15: The Pursuit of Purity <div class="" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjol8WueGjLYeCvIB6Mi-KrXEQqCXBz5pU3ST28_SPSztXs_DKb7NHOcuPx0bd95cpeX64hANedpZsNVTjtsd8xDa5eglTqHSfzI0SKzilmqFURQx0ij2Gz8czKTMEkjVTuMy_Xi1KClcOj/s1600/LisaPodcast_fb_smaller.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjol8WueGjLYeCvIB6Mi-KrXEQqCXBz5pU3ST28_SPSztXs_DKb7NHOcuPx0bd95cpeX64hANedpZsNVTjtsd8xDa5eglTqHSfzI0SKzilmqFURQx0ij2Gz8czKTMEkjVTuMy_Xi1KClcOj/s320/LisaPodcast_fb_smaller.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Purity isn't just for singles. Of course that's mostly how we hear it addressed and then it's dropped as if it becomes a non-issue once you say those vows. That's not true and Phylicia and I are talking about pursuing purity on this week's podcast episode. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;">Pursuing purity doesn't look much different once you're married than it did when you were single. There are different struggles but the approach is the same. Tackle the mind and the heart. Purity begins in the mind: how we think influences how we act. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><b>Practical tips from this episode:</b> </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>1. Guard what you put in your head.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Develop guidelines but remember that standards alone lead to pride. You're after the right heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>2. Don't look for the admiration or attention of men (or other men if you're married).</b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"There's a difference between being attractive and dressing to attract." There's also a difference between being friendly and being flirtatious. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>3. Don't wait for a man to satisfy your need for admiration or love.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You have value in Christ.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4. Don't base your worth on your sexuality. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You are more than your appearance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Purity is always a heart issue.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Subscribe in<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/uniquely-woman/id1028934614" target="_blank"> iTunes</a> and leave us a rating and review. </span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/destination/id/314950/height/360/width/640/theme/legacy/direction/no/autoplay/no/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/preload/no/no_addthis/no/" style="border: none;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-76535811011139922232015-11-10T06:00:00.000-05:002015-11-10T08:04:26.076-05:00Why We Shouldn't Believe Ourselves at 3 AM<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4oPjPMKuc7-UL2QiLL6DTKlT0qlmcgL5L_srTKfcbwynUrLpsYz0M0Jy7i7w0YMUokUHIncl23Gepq50tV0jnDrmlFH7cdH3Q50X-APrTWbIHthTGQ_IXDcBlr7Dy5oHftFpZfwbFCLYo/s1600/photo-1429032021766-c6a53949594f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4oPjPMKuc7-UL2QiLL6DTKlT0qlmcgL5L_srTKfcbwynUrLpsYz0M0Jy7i7w0YMUokUHIncl23Gepq50tV0jnDrmlFH7cdH3Q50X-APrTWbIHthTGQ_IXDcBlr7Dy5oHftFpZfwbFCLYo/s400/photo-1429032021766-c6a53949594f.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Yikes! I really need to clean that showerhead." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"I should eat more veggies." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"What's a better quiet time plan for my five year old?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"I should exercise more than doing yoga once a week." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Would we ever adopt?" "Should we really start each morning with old Mickey Mouse cartoons and pancakes?" "I need to finish that newsletter subscription resource." "I need to make that phone call." "Do I read enough to the boys?" "What difference can I make?" "Did I switch that last load of laundry to the dryer?" "I should be more patient." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">These thoughts can crowd through my mind in a four second span of time. And I can go from one simple observation of "there's a cobweb in that corner" to "I'm the world's worst fill-in-the-blank" in a five-step process. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ever noticed this is especially easy at night? I don't know about you but when I'm up feeding the baby or putting a child back in bed if I'm not careful my mind drifts. I go from seeing that pile of unfolded laundry I left on the way to bed to realizing that I need to redo my whole schedule to contain my superwoman efforts. The problem is I'm no superwoman. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Between the things I need to start doing and the things I need to do better is a tiny road that leads straight to exhaustion and discouragement. I start there in my mind and gallop ahead with my heart. This is not the best use of my mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Bible encourages us to love God with all our minds- not just our hearts or our souls, but with our minds as well. Mark 12:30 states: "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment." God cares about we do with our minds. He also gives us guidelines for what to think. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A mind is a terrible thing to waste. (Tell me you didn't have a teacher that told you that!) God bought us with salvation and has the right to all of us- including our minds. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So what can we do when we realize we are staring at defeat because of one dirty showerhead? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We take our thoughts captive. We are in charge of them; we aren't at their mercy. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Every thought to the obedience of Christ." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Instead of dwelling on the questions or the list of "shoulds" (although we should definitely pray about both) let's replace that with God's truth. When I start to feel like a failure for not exercising enough or being the world's best mom or always having all the laundry clean and folded and put away, I should instead remember the truth about God. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God<a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2014/07/gods-love-from-isaiah.html" target="_blank"> loves me</a>. John 3:16 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God is working in my life right now. Philippians 1:6</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God has all the wisdom I need. James 1:5</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God is gracious and longsuffering. Psalm 103:8</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God gives peace. Philippians 4:6-7</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God establishes boundaries for my protection. Proverbs 8:32</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God uses the hard things to draw me to Him. Psalm 119:67</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">-God's Word shows me the path to follow. Psalm 119: 105</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When I start reflecting on the truth I realize it's not all about me. In eternity it will not matter if there's a pile of unfolded towels on my couch when I go to bed. There is certainly no need to be the "world's best" at anything as that could only exalt me and not Christ. So often my heart craves validation instead of desiring to exalt Him with my life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Now you know me. I'm not suggesting that we don't do the work. We need to take care of our families and clean those showerheads and ask the hard questions. We need to fold the laundry and exercise. But we shouldn't beat ourselves up over the fact that we can't finish all the work every day. It's never ending. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Who actually fixes all the things they realize are wrong with them at 3 in the morning? Let's remember who God is instead. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-25591717432793610122015-11-05T06:00:00.000-05:002015-11-05T06:00:01.702-05:00Forming Worldviews as a Christian: A Manifesto of Sorts<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I miss the boat most of the time when it comes to current events. I know they are happening but I don't share about them here because by the time I've found a position and a good way to share it the internet has moved on to the next topic. </span></span><br />
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Trending topics on Facebook don't tell you much. I don't even believe what I read on most news sources anymore so I like to read widely and discuss the events with a few close friends before I start talking about where I stand. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXxsnmQ8ztYXWGpUlORAyqKn2ovzIB5S-V9xHQ6ymL2onomQMUqh3pnQjKScyH05xw9hA0q-YDpQiaRM2eqM0MEtUG38fE57iSgIyYzss_2eHClZmKM96d8dS3yMrHWqDXRZmBxpm6yh5/s1600/photo-1428677361686-f9d23be145c9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqXxsnmQ8ztYXWGpUlORAyqKn2ovzIB5S-V9xHQ6ymL2onomQMUqh3pnQjKScyH05xw9hA0q-YDpQiaRM2eqM0MEtUG38fE57iSgIyYzss_2eHClZmKM96d8dS3yMrHWqDXRZmBxpm6yh5/s400/photo-1428677361686-f9d23be145c9.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If people are listening to my words (and someone is listening to you too) then it's worth the time and effort to be deliberate with what I say. I always want to clarify if I'm sharing my own opinion or the truth of the Bible as well. There's a big difference between "God says" and "Lisa thinks." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Christianity must engage with culture. I don't get a pass because I want to be careful. That's only admirable as far as it doesn't take me out of the game. We must stand for what we believe. But the way we do it matters. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As I thought through my process I realized that I have a manifesto of sorts about how I form worldviews and opinions and express those to people who don't agree with me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I try to think long and write slow</b> so that I can carefully craft what I'm saying. This is actually just in line with my personality. I'd rather you sent me an email so that I had time to think about a response rather than have to answer you on the spot. It's not that I don't want to talk to you; I just want to think about what I'm saying. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I try to look at the ramifications of the situation</b> instead of just the one part that is black and white. That's like saying that abortion is wrong and never attempting to assist in the situations that lead to women choosing abortions. Of course it's wrong, <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/08/what-cecil-lion-and-planned-parenthood.html" target="_blank">but what are you doing to help?</a> I don't want to just point out problems and never the solutions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I try to present my viewpoint with intelligence and compassion</b> to foster conversation and relationships with people disagree. There is never a place for name-calling. I don't need to have a superiority complex even if I'm standing on the truth of the Bible. It does not help the Christian position if we fly off with hot words- calling people names and never listening to what others are saying. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I want to always be able to admit that I'm wrong</b>, that I changed my mind, that I don't know the answer, or that I'm not sure where I stand yet. Some things are hard to work through. They are multi-faceted and the answer might not be readily apparent. I do not have to have all the answers, even for myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I want to ask the hard questions.</b> That's the only way to make progress even though it's uncomfortable. It's easy to just keep repeating the easy stuff and never delve into the issues that the lost want to discuss. Why should they be more intellectually sound than we are? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I want to stand my ground.</b> Once I have a Bible-based opinion, I want to stand on it (again compassionately and intelligently) regardless of disagreement. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I want to avoid calling others names</b> or presen</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">ting myself as an expert. Everyone can teach me something. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I want to recognize that we are each the product of our environments and education</b> (and I don't just mean formal education) and that we are works-in-progress. As stated above, we should be able to change our minds and grow. We should disagree with some of our positions from five years ago (without compromising Biblical truth obviously). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>-I want to be able to disagree well.</b> I will disagree with people I respect and that's ok. There are friends that I don't always agree with but I like their input. They always bring up something I hadn't considered before and push me to back up my position with something besides feelings. To not talk to them would be a loss to myself and my credibility. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Some things I make myself write about and hit publish even though I feel like I could write another 1,000 words about the topic. I have to give you enough credit to believe that you understand where I'm coming from, especially if you've been reading here for a while. I'm always open for polite dialogue on post topics. I want you to be heard. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Some things aren't for the internet, at least for me. There are many topics that I think are better suited for a face-to-face conversation where body language and tone come into play. It's a lot easier to speak the truth in love over coffee with someone you care about than it is to accurately represent your whole heart in text on a screen. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What I don't want to do is just blather on all the time, foaming at the mouth about what the world's coming to. We Christians ruin our credibility when we leave our intelligence behind in considering and presenting our positions. Sometimes I'm not sure that our beliefs are as offensive as they seem. I think it's us. I think it's the careless way we wave the name of God over positions that we can't back from the Bible or if we can, we don't do in a way that represents the heart of Christ as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We should challenge ourselves to a little more than that. After all, are we here to win the lost or are we trying to pick fights? We can't do both. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-29614450593479949742015-11-04T06:00:00.000-05:002015-11-04T06:00:05.570-05:00Uniquely Woman Episode 14: Schedules and Motherhood<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjol8WueGjLYeCvIB6Mi-KrXEQqCXBz5pU3ST28_SPSztXs_DKb7NHOcuPx0bd95cpeX64hANedpZsNVTjtsd8xDa5eglTqHSfzI0SKzilmqFURQx0ij2Gz8czKTMEkjVTuMy_Xi1KClcOj/s1600/LisaPodcast_fb_smaller.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjol8WueGjLYeCvIB6Mi-KrXEQqCXBz5pU3ST28_SPSztXs_DKb7NHOcuPx0bd95cpeX64hANedpZsNVTjtsd8xDa5eglTqHSfzI0SKzilmqFURQx0ij2Gz8czKTMEkjVTuMy_Xi1KClcOj/s320/LisaPodcast_fb_smaller.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This week <a href="http://phyliciadelta.com/" target="_blank">Phylicia</a> and I chat about scheduling life as mothers. We're both Type A women and we like our lists and plans and schedules. Those are harder to maintain once your home starts filling up with little people who cry and have accidents and love to snuggle. But as I said on the podcast, "You can accomplish a lot even when you're home with small children." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>1. Give yourself grace.</b> Everyone's story is different so your life as a mom may not look anything like another mom's life. You are adjusting to having a brand new person in your family and it takes a while to find your sweet spot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>2. Embrace rhythms.</b> Time-bound schedules don't work as well for getting through your typical day with kids. Put the most important- not the most impressive- things on your to-do list. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>3. Manage your expectations.</b> Leave a cushion and set realistic goals. You can shower and do the laundry and a multitude of other things but it might not be at the time you want to do them. "You'll schedule what's important for you and your family." - Phylicia </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Also- we discuss the benefits of babywearing and possible (humorous) options for renaming the podcast.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Subscribe in iTunes and leave us a rating and review! </span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/destination/id/314950/height/360/width/640/theme/legacy/direction/no/autoplay/no/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/preload/no/no_addthis/no/" style="border: none;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-46393486501880642872015-11-03T06:00:00.000-05:002015-11-03T08:00:22.088-05:00When Motherhood Isn't All You Hoped<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwEGs-l9IvcIUj-IIpUEy9Hg03ZE6d3qhuA2NmggohcTdKJ1KapAs5Oin2j2WjauIVF3iG5o5NAxlveF7H3E4GHGnS3_rV-8Bs-afCmYYFKiSDAHZJPm1kFJrL1O9XDT02iO7HyfiuRAhk/s1600/Caleb+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwEGs-l9IvcIUj-IIpUEy9Hg03ZE6d3qhuA2NmggohcTdKJ1KapAs5Oin2j2WjauIVF3iG5o5NAxlveF7H3E4GHGnS3_rV-8Bs-afCmYYFKiSDAHZJPm1kFJrL1O9XDT02iO7HyfiuRAhk/s320/Caleb+1.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"And just like that- he's one." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That's what I posted on my personal facebook last Saturday. My <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2014/11/halloween-baby.html" target="_blank">baby turned one</a> and this time it really was "just like that." It seemed like I turned away and that first year had just disappeared, faded between night feedings and chasing two older kids. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I love the baby stage. I love a tiny newborn, although I'm more than happy to get out of that newly postpartum stage myself. I love a baby to cradle in my arms and wear in wraps and that starts sitting up and then crawling. I love it when he starts to grin at me when I walk into the room and the way he crinkles his nose when he smiles and tries to climb up my leg if I've been gone for a while (or if it hasn't been that long- getting snacks takes a long time in baby time). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">With this third child I even enjoyed night feedings because it was the one time I could be still and just enjoy the baby without needing to care for older children. I could stroke his head and let him snuggle against me and sleep. I had finally hit a stride nursing and wasn't as freaked out by every little thing that happened with him. It wasn't all new and that was much more comfortable. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But it's not always "just like that." I've had other children and each experience with each child is different. Your perspective as a mom is different because you grow and change as you progress in your mothering journey. My first child was not "just like that." Looking back from here it seems like it went quickly but it didn't then. As much as I loved my baby I was overwhelmed with his care and adjusting to motherhood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I've also talked to other ladies. It wasn't "just like that" for a lot of them. They dealt with health issues themselves, a baby with an unexpected diagnosis, family situations, postpartum depression. As much as they desired that beautiful first year with their newborn it didn't happen. I have friends who haven't been able to have babies. I have friends who have lost babies. I have friends who have walked the darkest valleys with their kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It can feel like a betrayal of motherhood to admit that it's not always positive or good or easy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Society portrays the beautiful pictures you see on commercials for diapers and baby cream. A well-rested mother with beautiful hair is smiling at her sleeping baby who hasn't been up all night crying or nursing or spitting up. Or society presents children as a drag, a burden that holds you back in life, and in light of that you don't feel comfortable presenting the problems lest you perpetuate that belief. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmKhO6zI8hlmNi8WHUQJUUDyjGWOAtBQUkpDPn3le72-V2LpMZd9qH57iKxUalsAJXA1I7EoC73J852oX__QbJzhXEWnrWJ4m5L_XmX9tzUVvKTTugAydOUj-rcWz81QDNBBem5hJYtPYh/s1600/3+boy+bw.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmKhO6zI8hlmNi8WHUQJUUDyjGWOAtBQUkpDPn3le72-V2LpMZd9qH57iKxUalsAJXA1I7EoC73J852oX__QbJzhXEWnrWJ4m5L_XmX9tzUVvKTTugAydOUj-rcWz81QDNBBem5hJYtPYh/s320/3+boy+bw.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There must be middle ground. We love being mothers. Motherhood is important. But negative emotions abound in motherhood. I talked to another mom at the library and we agreed that no matter how much you treasure your kids there are unenjoyable parts. There's a great saying- and excuse my language- "Everything sucks sometimes." It's true. Regardless of how great it is and how much you wanted it, motherhood sucks sometimes. Sometimes we are sleep-deprived with a newborn and nothing runs well through that filter. Sometimes we are mourning the loss of our pre-baby body with no stretch marks or scars or saggy skin. Sometimes we feel the loss of our spontaneity and our freedom to run to Waffle House at midnight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sometimes it's the deepest things that wear us down. Motherhood can be agony. If you've ever watched your child cling to life in the hospital you know that. In your innermost heart you've wondered if life wouldn't have been better/easier/happier if you had never had that child. You wonder how you can live if the worst does happen and your arms are empty. That's agony. It's agony to watch your child struggle with problems and differences and not know how it will turn out. There is only so much you can do as a mama. Most days it seems like there is so much you can't do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Emotions don't come one by one. They are a package deal and each positive one also has a negative flipside. Pregnancy is a time of beautiful expectation: planning a nursery, shopping for clothes, feeling baby kicks. It can also be a time of great fear as you wonder if the baby is ok, if you will have complications, how birth will go. Birth is miraculous and yet totally insane and usually nothing like what you expected. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Motherhood is amazing and exhausting. There's nothing to compare to it for the good or the bad. I've gone through situations with mothering that I thought would never end and I just knew at the time that I wouldn't make it. (Obviously I did.) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Even those milestones- just like that, he's one- are bittersweet. He'll never be that tiny baby that I held in my arms at his first doctor's appointment. That's tucked away forever a memory no matter how much I would love to pull it out and replay it. Some women find they don't even like the baby stage that well. Have you tried admitting that to someone? "I don't really like having a four-month-old; I'm glad to get that first year behind us." That's a hard thing to say; people don't always take it well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There is freedom in knowing that no positive emotion comes alone and rarely do the negative ones come to stay. They will roll in and out of your life depending on sleep and the day and how many people unfriended you on facebook (no, really, you shouldn't care. Let them go). </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGVlhTiYo_3uZtIYqHmTDNeUe9S0XIqGTg4PxyhoSa3ycQrLAOhTzBg11vpm2v_wkvmuc2FLFAD-j0BHtSqXiCiFnrOUG30sRXNu2_TC3koCccFSle3UpzX-rM-ZAwclVqwTN8Bn8KuERo/s1600/micah+and+kevin+on+walk.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGVlhTiYo_3uZtIYqHmTDNeUe9S0XIqGTg4PxyhoSa3ycQrLAOhTzBg11vpm2v_wkvmuc2FLFAD-j0BHtSqXiCiFnrOUG30sRXNu2_TC3koCccFSle3UpzX-rM-ZAwclVqwTN8Bn8KuERo/s320/micah+and+kevin+on+walk.JPG" width="304" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When you are disappointed with mothering, don't give up hope. God made you a mama. He gave you that child. And while you might not like that right now- you might not like the story you are living- you are not without hope. Christ is our hope; mothering isn't. He is our promise, our anchor, our grace for a new day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Whether you have the life you imagined since becoming a mom or you can never picture getting that back, motherhood is not the answer. Motherhood is not your happiness. Jesus is and He can handle all the emotions that come with what He's brought you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Seasons change. We grow and learn. And next month motherhood will take us on a different journey. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When I say, "just like that, he's one." I really do mean it. It feels like I barely turned around twice since I gave birth last Halloween. Yet there he is, crawling across the floor fulfilling his self-appointed job of being the human vacuum cleaner. But even in this year I've been in other stages of motherhood that weren't "just like that." They were "this feels like forever" and "I have no idea what will happen here" and "this will never end." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you are in one of those stages of motherhood don't give up on yourself. You're not a bad mama. God has a plan that's beyond what we can imagine. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">He promises that He will never quit working in our lives- or in the lives of our children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 1:6</span></blockquote>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-70070577750093815332015-10-29T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-29T06:00:05.493-04:00A Winter Wellness Plan for Winter Haters<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kmUoaRaS5rf4T-pcMZc0DVSXWr52Xgg7Colg-FnTREkcuC5-ezkwLhla1v7AvVvCKKKHIjDZwvQ0ibwlgdGOh2JSwUeHf6GsFf5R3PI5rdXXIwuy8lKwjHreHvIPEdHbF6Pe8KUWH1NB/s1600/snowman-321034_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8kmUoaRaS5rf4T-pcMZc0DVSXWr52Xgg7Colg-FnTREkcuC5-ezkwLhla1v7AvVvCKKKHIjDZwvQ0ibwlgdGOh2JSwUeHf6GsFf5R3PI5rdXXIwuy8lKwjHreHvIPEdHbF6Pe8KUWH1NB/s400/snowman-321034_1920.jpg" width="400" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">Fall has a few bright spots: football games, scarves, changing leaves. It stops about there. Let's face it. Fall is just the harbinger of winter and I hate winter. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">Winter should come for one week a year; the week of Christmas would be ideal. Let's have some snow and hot cocoa and bundle up in cute coats that are a pain in the car and take twenty minutes to outfit our children in cold weather clothes to go outside. Clothes that they can't wear in the car so you take it all back off after you walk the fifteen feet to the car door. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">Winter is dark and gloomy. The sunlight is gone by five and you can't go play on the playground after dinner and it's too cold to romp back to the cemetery and collect walnuts and leaves and rocks and sticks. You can only run around the circle between the hallway and living room so many times before you start to go crazy and your hip starts to hurt so you have to at least run the opposite direction. </span></span><br />
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The holidays are a bright spot in winter. I'll admit before someone accuses me of being a Scrooge. But there are a good three and a half months of winter after my birthday at the first of the year. Then there are no more parties and excuses for cookies and people turn off their Christmas lights. We should just make the lights a thing all winter. Can we agree to that? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">Since we can't just have that one week of winter but must endure months of it, I'm developing a plan. Don't worry, the plan definitely includes not whining about winter to everyone who sees me. I think I've gotten it out of my system now. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">Time is changing this weekend; to me that signals the start of winter (I realize that's not the official sign). I do have one advantage this year over last because I am not having a baby this weekend. But I made a few of these notes last year when winter was ending: I worked hard to make winter work for me even with a new baby. I plan on doing the same this year- just without the new baby. </span><br />
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First two guidelines and then a few ideas I've been compiling. </span><br />
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<strike>1. Move to somewhere warm and tropical.</strike> Nice thought though. </span><br />
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<b>1. You choose your attitude.</b> Even when it's cold and gloomy outside you get to choose what's on the inside. I help myself by staying in my Bible and exercising regularly. Also not literally becoming a hermit because winter coats are a pain. </span><br />
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<b>2. Have some goals.</b> Give yourself a purpose. Don't flitter around the house all day doing nothing. Write the words, do the homeschooling, practice the instrument, read with the kids, draw the pictures. Whatever your thing is, do it regularly. Keep yourself in a good rhythm of life. </span></div>
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I've been making a list of winter activities that will get us out of the house some and keep us focused when we're home. Here are a few of them: </span><br />
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-Make a list of activities for the evenings: playdough, play ball, kindergarten games, coloring</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Bake bread or donuts or cookies (also- avoid the scale or workout more)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Share the baked goodies with others</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Pick a "donut breakfast" morning- bonus points if you invite friends</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Complete a few home projects</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Eat out a few times a month</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Try one new recipe a week</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Invite people over for dinner</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Go on dates (without the kids)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Set some winter goals (This was crucial last year and really jump-started the work I've done this year.)</span><br />
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Justin is coaching a basketball team this year and we'll be going to practice and games with him. The boys love it and it occupies those long evenings. Double winner for a winter activity. </span><br />
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Do you like winter? How do you manage if you don't? </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-6284932625120613752015-10-28T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-28T06:00:06.394-04:00Uniquely Woman Episode 13: Favorite Books of the Year<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjol8WueGjLYeCvIB6Mi-KrXEQqCXBz5pU3ST28_SPSztXs_DKb7NHOcuPx0bd95cpeX64hANedpZsNVTjtsd8xDa5eglTqHSfzI0SKzilmqFURQx0ij2Gz8czKTMEkjVTuMy_Xi1KClcOj/s1600/LisaPodcast_fb_smaller.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjol8WueGjLYeCvIB6Mi-KrXEQqCXBz5pU3ST28_SPSztXs_DKb7NHOcuPx0bd95cpeX64hANedpZsNVTjtsd8xDa5eglTqHSfzI0SKzilmqFURQx0ij2Gz8czKTMEkjVTuMy_Xi1KClcOj/s320/LisaPodcast_fb_smaller.png" width="320" /></a>In this episode of the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/uniquely-woman/id1028934614" target="_blank">Uniquely Woman podcast</a> Phylicia and I discuss our four favorite books of the year. Because we both love to read so much we needed up listing more than four apiece.<br />
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Phylicia no longer reads fiction so to satisfy her desire for a good story she reads a lot of memoirs.<br />
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I don't read a lot of fiction because I don't have the emotional energy for imaginary people. I use it all up on the people in my life.<br />
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As a part of #personalgradschool I have been reading a lot about creativity and work this year as is evidenced by my book list.<br />
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<b>Lisa's Books</b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-u_iAxcQR2NoSQQniswxETjwXe8kV0B-uq9nk1KxPpKh9BL49RnEVIGFr9OYxEuZE_-om2Cr2Jhfr-_4OH39wjA1ff_Dw-4eXGF5o5vD26pmXSEwpFS1pgla91Ts8kj0xEHosT2jGSWIf/s1600/podcast+books.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-u_iAxcQR2NoSQQniswxETjwXe8kV0B-uq9nk1KxPpKh9BL49RnEVIGFr9OYxEuZE_-om2Cr2Jhfr-_4OH39wjA1ff_Dw-4eXGF5o5vD26pmXSEwpFS1pgla91Ts8kj0xEHosT2jGSWIf/s320/podcast+books.JPG" width="320" /></a><i>Favorites of the Year:</i><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Steal-Like-Artist-Things-Creative/dp/0761169253/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1445972627&sr=8-4&keywords=austin+kleon" target="_blank">Steal Like an Artist</a> and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Show-Your-Work-Creativity-Discovered/dp/076117897X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1445972627&sr=8-3&keywords=austin+kleon" target="_blank">Show Your Work</a> by Austin Kleon<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Own-Your-Life-Intention-Generous/dp/1414391285/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445972685&sr=8-1&keywords=own+your+life+sally+clarkson" target="_blank">Own Your Life</a> by Sally Clarkson<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Into-Thin-Air-Personal-Disaster/dp/0385494785/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445972750&sr=8-1&keywords=into+thin+air" target="_blank">Into Thin Air</a> by Jon Krakauer<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Habit-Learn-Use-Life/dp/0743235274/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445972710&sr=8-1&keywords=the+creative+habit" target="_blank">The Creative Habit</a> by Twyla Tharp<br />
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<i>What I'm Reading Now:</i><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Big-Magic-Creative-Living-Beyond/dp/1594634718/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445972800&sr=8-1&keywords=big+magic" target="_blank">Big Magic</a> by Elizabeth Gilbert<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Familys-Sake-Value-Home-Everyones/dp/1581341113/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445994944&sr=8-1&keywords=for+the+family%27s+sake" target="_blank">For the Family's Sake</a> by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hoodwinked-Myths-Moms-Believe-Knock/dp/0310343437/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445995041&sr=8-1&keywords=hoodwinked" target="_blank">Hoodwinked</a> by Karen Ehman and Ruth Schwenk<br />
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<i>My favorite classic:</i><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wuthering-Heights-Penguin-Classics-Bront%C3%AB/dp/0141439556/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445972831&sr=8-1&keywords=wuthering+heights" target="_blank">Wuthering Heights</a> by Emily Bronte (I am unwilling to evaluate what that says about me.)<br />
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On a side note: I am on the launch team for Hoodwinked so I am already reading the book. It's one of the best books on motherhood that I've read. It addresses the myths we believe about motherhood and they are so relevant. Some of them I already knew were myths and others I'm so glad to hear someone else say. If you're a mom, you should go preorder it. You won't have to wait long, it releases next week!<br />
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<b>Phylicia's Books</b><br />
<i>Favorites of the Year:</i><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Romancing-Your-Husband-Enjoying-Passionate/dp/0736947639/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445973004&sr=8-1&keywords=romancing+your+husband" target="_blank">Romancing Your Husband</a> by Debra White Smith<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0316017930/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445999417&sr=8-1&keywords=outliers" target="_blank">Outliers</a> by Malcolm Gladwell<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Glitter-Glue-Memoir-Kelly-Corrigan/dp/0345532856/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1445999070&sr=8-2&keywords=glitter+and+glue" target="_blank">Glitter and Glue</a> by Kelly Corrigan<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Glimpses-Grace-Treasuring-Gospel-Your/dp/1433536056/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445999455&sr=8-1&keywords=glimpses+of+grace" target="_blank">Glimpses of Grace</a> by Gloria Furman<br />
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<i>What She's Reading Now:</i><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hyper-Grace-Exposing-Dangers-Modern-Message/dp/1621365891/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445999503&sr=8-1&keywords=hyper+grace" target="_blank">Hyper Grace</a> by Michael Brown<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Ames-Story-Forty-Year-Friendship/dp/1592405320/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445999588&sr=8-1&keywords=the+girls+from+ames" target="_blank">The Girls from Ames</a> by Jeffrey Zaslow<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Please-Excuse-Daughter-Julie-Klam/dp/1594483574/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445999736&sr=8-1&keywords=please+excuse+my+daughter" target="_blank">Please Excuse My Daughter</a> by Julie Klam<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Islam-Unveiled-Disturbing-Questions-Fastest-Growing/dp/1893554775/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1445999653&sr=8-1&keywords=islam+unveiled" target="_blank">Islam Unveiled</a> by Robert Spencer<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/destination/id/314950/height/360/width/640/theme/legacy/direction/no/autoplay/no/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/preload/no/no_addthis/no/" style="border: none;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-49794749034861961452015-10-27T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-27T06:00:04.053-04:00Recovering the Princess: What Royalty Really Means<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Everyone loves a Disney fairytale, right? I do but I don't. I actually have considerable problems with fairy tales- starting with how some of the princesses are spoiled brats. Jasmine anyone? (Although Alan Menken's music is fabulous in that movie.) Not to mention that I listened to a <a href="http://knoxandjamie.com/" target="_blank">Popcast podcast</a> about fairy tales and most of them come from very dark stories.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtcOxg6od7Y0IFlQl1zu7Ypg972tiqMyq7sKGFxjaZM3jKc8KM_cprGIUHT1yVNeJtNDy19Dt-YybNtV1XLSKAClj9l82Mkwc9V2EScVT2tKdTSRXdbdu8o3gdOnnDJnst5LLwwbp-OAbT/s1600/sundress-336590_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtcOxg6od7Y0IFlQl1zu7Ypg972tiqMyq7sKGFxjaZM3jKc8KM_cprGIUHT1yVNeJtNDy19Dt-YybNtV1XLSKAClj9l82Mkwc9V2EScVT2tKdTSRXdbdu8o3gdOnnDJnst5LLwwbp-OAbT/s400/sundress-336590_1280.jpg" width="400" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't have any daughters so I don't have to worry about the princess obsession. I'm not sure how I would handle it but I do know part of the problem is the "princess mindset." <i>You're not here to be waited on.</i> Royalty doesn't mean you get everything you want or do whatever you want and people just fawn over you and life's great. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Take Princess Kate, for example. Oh wait, I mean Duchess of Cambridge (how awesome of a title is that?). Princess Kate does not get to do whatever she wants, go where ever she wants, say whatever she wants. She is well aware that everything she does reflects on the royal family and she conducts herself in a way that honors them. Her concern is for the reputation of the royal family and for the good of the British people. (Either that or she wants to keep the Queen off her back but let's give her the benefit of the doubt.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We don't have to claw for the status of princess. We are royalty. 1 Peter 2:9 says, "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light. " We are a royal priesthood; that's what God thinks about you. You are chosen and royal- peculiar too, in case you were getting a big head (that just means different, not weird. Don't be weird and blame it on Jesus). But that royalty doesn't mean that we are to be waited on. We are to be following the example of Christ who came to serve. "But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant." Matthew 23:11. </span><br />
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That means it's not about us. We aren't waiting for people to make a big deal over us. We aren't waiting to be recognized or applauded. We aren't demanding our way. Instead we are forgetting self. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As royalty, everything we do should go through two criteria. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. Does it honor God?</b> Does this make the royal family look good? When the world sees me do this do they know I'm a Christian? And if they do, how does that change their view of God? Titus 2:10 admonishes us to adorn the Gospel or make it more appealing. Do we? Do others want our lives, marriages, families, work ethic, attitudes? Obviously these things are never perfect but do we offer anything different than what the world does? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Does it help others?</b> Just as royalty is supposed to look after the good of the people of their country we are to serve others. Jesus came to serve: He washed feet and touched lepers and had time for the least of society. Our desire as Christians should be to love these around us that Christ loves. If it doesn't help anyone, maybe we shouldn't do it. Our motivation shouldn't be applause or fame but a genuine desire to point others to Jesus. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Royalty means you work hard. You deny yourself for the good of others. You screen what you do through the view of representing someone else. You hold yourself to a higher standard. It's not just about us. Let's act as princesses today. (Actually I like queen better, don't you?) </span><br />
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Do you have daughters? How do you handle the princess issue? </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-28185157346935550842015-10-22T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-22T06:00:02.418-04:00When You Feel Smothered by Your Limits<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga2vBJDIHuPFokSHgpyX7HgQwfm6hS_FB4yBZif7xooF7jEYlq5M4BYRp1UlhTsmemxoEf9lIxf1LuP9ZhQwr6IwtNW7pstyZZCP1g60rzqbf4FRHKifE-S-y0NXAxUGoANBaD358KJ_H_/s1600/photograph-865008_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga2vBJDIHuPFokSHgpyX7HgQwfm6hS_FB4yBZif7xooF7jEYlq5M4BYRp1UlhTsmemxoEf9lIxf1LuP9ZhQwr6IwtNW7pstyZZCP1g60rzqbf4FRHKifE-S-y0NXAxUGoANBaD358KJ_H_/s400/photograph-865008_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I started my <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/09/8-tips-for-planning-personal-projects.html" target="_blank">art project</a> back in January I planned to dedicate twenty minutes once a week to art. Previously I have said that I didn't have time for art because twenty minutes wasn't time for anything. Instead I did nothing with that twenty minutes (or least not art). Time that's not allocated to something is typically wasted. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That art project has grown. I'm doing a ten minute sketch most days of the week. And I'm still doing the "big" piece once a week that takes at least an hour and not that twenty minutes I decided I could scrounge up back in January. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So what changed? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I learned to embrace limits. Before I fought against them, believing that they were keeping me from doing the work that I wanted to. Now I realize that they enable me to do my best work. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Limits do the same for you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Limits remind you of what's important. This is all based off your beliefs. What's important to me is that I'm doing life with my family and still pursuing a vibrant version of me. I don't want to neglect what God's given me to do with either my family or other work. Dr. Bob Jones, Sr., used to say that "duties never conflict." God's not going to call me to stay home with my kids and homeschool the one in school and work three part-time jobs and volunteer twenty hours a week. We need to let go of our expectations for ourselves and find God's design for our lives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Limits make you choose. Once you know that's important to you it becomes a lot easier to choose what you are going to do. What you do will change based on seasons of life. Sometimes you have to choose things that aren't your heart's desire. That's ok. There may be an opportunity you want to take but you can't because of the season of life you are in. That's ok too. Seasons of life change; what you can do with your time will change with them. Saying no now doesn't mean saying no forever. Opportunities that God wants you to take will come around again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You also have to choose based on what you are gifted in or called to. I didn't spend that twenty minutes a week learning to rewire electrical outlets. That would be a valuable skill but I only understand how electricity works on a surface level. I could tell you but it doesn't really make sense to me. Not everything that's available is for you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Limits enhance your focus. Once you know what you are doing, you can focus on those things. I don't spend my art time wondering if I should be cleaning my house. I don't spend my writing or blogging time wondering if I should be doing kindergarten with my oldest. I don't spend the time that I have with my family wondering if I should be blogging. Find what<a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2013/09/gods-will-today.html" target="_blank"> God wants you to do</a> and then do that. (Of course we question those things in an effort to stay where God wants us but it doesn't have to linger in the back of our minds every minutes of every day.) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Limits give you a time to work. I know the time I have to write and draw and work on this blog. If I don't do it then, it doesn't happen. That's powerful motivation to do the work when I'd rather not; often the couch seems more appealing. Find small pockets of time every single day and work on the passions God has given you. Work furiously within those bounds and see what happens. It's easier to not try than face the fear of failure but then you'll never accomplish anything. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-Limits prevent comparison. When you know your limits you only have to focus on your work. There's no need to look at your friend, your co-worker, or your sister and wish you were doing her work. Or worse think you should be doing your work and her work too. Pull yourself back into your own lane and live there.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaJDiJ0ivKHxE2ZJ3TyxbDsCPisRp-V-Uh9gSAORxwg4hO9QVAv88FdoMdfpiR4CCN8fZsxqcA-0QpVDR7f6SglJSp89a69v6zc-JrtTDkCiHHhwCl95W1mz5k6AWFI_OdTJijHUMOMJ7/s1600/painting+picture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaJDiJ0ivKHxE2ZJ3TyxbDsCPisRp-V-Uh9gSAORxwg4hO9QVAv88FdoMdfpiR4CCN8fZsxqcA-0QpVDR7f6SglJSp89a69v6zc-JrtTDkCiHHhwCl95W1mz5k6AWFI_OdTJijHUMOMJ7/s320/painting+picture.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've reading <i>Big Magic</i> by Elizabeth Gilbert (mixed reviews: definitely a worthwhile read for me, not a complete recommendation). She tells a story about Herman Melville writing a friend (Nathaniel Hawthorne!) about desiring large amounts of time to write his book: time freed from responsibilities and stresses where he could focus completely on his creative process. He never got that time but he still wrote <i>Moby Dick</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because I can't not say it, let's quit with the "motherhood martyrdom." That's the "everything I want to do would be easier if I did something besides mother." That's not true. I know it would not be easier for me to blog if I had a full-time job instead of or in addition to my three children. You find the time for the things you want to do. It takes some discipline. Excuses are a way to rationalize our lack of self-discipline. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You can't do it all, but you can do something. Your limits will help you decide what your "something" is. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-5489273775779002982015-10-20T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-20T06:00:08.842-04:00Why We Don't Have to Believe in Typical Motherhood<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yVZ0_cPEEf7psANopXnRpy7a-v_8rFN38Q0sUw5IoiuSsewCl9aNADcNHbXXmhgcLx7ansIrP_yDnnE9L3pr37FNngcxvAqU9ydn4NB0vn4LE5NO1VhTIkZEYeEHXz3jOl_wmX4bV3La/s1600/baby-923480_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5yVZ0_cPEEf7psANopXnRpy7a-v_8rFN38Q0sUw5IoiuSsewCl9aNADcNHbXXmhgcLx7ansIrP_yDnnE9L3pr37FNngcxvAqU9ydn4NB0vn4LE5NO1VhTIkZEYeEHXz3jOl_wmX4bV3La/s400/baby-923480_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A few months ago I read an article on Scary Mommy (which I'm not typically a fan of) that really disturbed me. The title of it was "Being a Good Mom is Making Me a Bad Wife." She described how often, when her husband comes home, she's exhausted from the work of the day and still wearing sweats. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I felt sorry for the writer. She seemed genuine in her concern for her marriage: she wondered what it meant if her children were getting her at her best and her husband always at her worst. She mentioned how much she loved her kids and all the "good mom" stuff that she did for them throughout the day. But...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There's where I want to stop. I get frustrated when we complain about problems but aren't willing to fix them. Mothers have been raising kids for years. And before someone says that mothers had less to do then because there was no internet and no outside jobs, let's consider that they had to grow their own food and make their own clothes. I think we have it easier all things considered. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are two extremes in motherhood: <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/04/where-motherhood-intersects-with.html" target="_blank">neglecting your mothering</a> and making your motherhood first in your life. Both are problems but we're focusing on the second one today. You are not a mama first. You are a woman, a Christian, a wife first. Your children should not be your life although they take up a good portion of your time when you are raising them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Life and motherhood can coexist. But it's work. We don't like work; we like shortcuts. We want a shortcut that doesn't involve slowly training our children to engage in activities that don't lead to pandemonium at dinner time. (It helps that they outgrow some toddler behaviors.) We want a shortcut that doesn't involve reigning in our own emotions and not melting down when things are overwhelming. We want a shortcut that doesn't involve taking ten minutes to change clothes and brush our hair so we feel refreshed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We don't have to believe in typical status quo motherhood. We don't have to make our children the center of our world, let ourselves go, neglect our marriages, and always be knee-deep in some sort of accident. Well, we might be physically but we don't have to be mentally. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">When we put our eyes on Christ, we start to remember that while we are admonished many times to teach, train, and love our children, we are not instructed to make them the center of the universe. We are not instructed to drop every bit of work to focus solely on mothering; we find no example of that in Scripture. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Friends, I believe in the <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/03/grace-in-motherhood.html" target="_blank">importance of mothering</a>. You know this if you've been reading here. Hear what I'm saying: we don't have <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/01/3-ways-to-enjoy-being-mom-of-littles.html" target="_blank">to do motherhood <i>that</i> way.</a> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We can develop an eternal perspective. Then when we are knee-deep in accidents and messes and frustrations (and we will be) we will remember that we are raising humans and this is part of the process. We will also remember that we're growing ourselves and this is part of the lesson. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We can train our children and ourselves. We can train our children not to cry over every little thing (and yes, some kids take way longer than others). We can train ourselves to only use our phones when it's time to. We can consider alternatives when we are having problems with our schedules and rhythms of life. We can develop some rhythms of life: how do you think I write this blog? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Pick one thing. Work on that for a week. Then the next week add something else. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Set meal and snack times. Establish nap/quiet time. Fit everything else around those. Teach your children to help you clean for fifteen minutes right after breakfast. Teach them to sit and play with specific toys for twenty minutes while you make phone calls or update your budget or plan an instrument. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Get out some coloring pages or play-doh or paper dolls (maybe not in my case but I loved them when I was little) and sit your kids at the table when it's time to cook dinner. Or use the Crock-Pot and go out and run around in the yard when your husband arrives home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Slowly teach your non-napping children to have quiet time (Pinterest is full of ideas) so that you can<a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/09/8-tips-for-planning-personal-projects.html" target="_blank"> dabble in a project that interests you</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Determine an amount of time you want to be on the floor playing with your kids and do it every day. Read out loud to your kids every day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not interested in telling you how to do motherhood; I don't care if you don't follow any of my suggestions. I am interested in your considering how God wants you to do motherhood. This isn't about neglecting your children to just work all day and it's not about neglecting your responsibilities to be drug around by your kids. This will look different for each family and possibly each day. But if we're erring too far toward either side, change is possible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">These are not easy changes. But it's too easy to complain and never change. If you aren't willing to change, stop complaining. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We don't have to lose ourselves in motherhood. Motherhood makes us better people when we don't quit or give up. Approach motherhood with the same grace and grit you would an outside job. Would you show up in old, dirty clothes? No, you wouldn't, because that makes you feel horrible about yourself and no one takes you seriously. Maybe you have to change clothes twice in one day. Do it. Take five minutes and braid your hair or pull it up in a cute topknot. Put on some concealer and mascara. Life's not over because you have small children or children in general. This is the best training ground for yourself that you could possibly have. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Does this mean you'll never experience frustration in motherhood? Please, do you have kids? This isn't a magic pill that will fix all the problems and create smooth sailing. But it might keep you from giving up on <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/01/for-new-year-my-heart-for-2015.html" target="_blank">a life that matters</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This isn't just me. I'm not anything special; <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2014/10/why-im-not-natural-mother.html" target="_blank">motherhood is not naturally easy for me</a>. I have friend after friend after friend who excels at this. They aren't perfect but they attempt change when they need too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You can too. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-49845121387990952772015-10-15T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-15T06:00:06.554-04:00You Are A Teacher: We All Start Somewhere<div>
<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"You could teach piano, especially to beginners. I turn away students all the time." </span></span><br />
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My piano teacher's comment left me stunned as I remembered all the times that I wanted to bang my head on the piano keys in frustration. But she's right- I could teach beginner's piano. I don't have time to right now but it's on my "work bucket list" for the future. </span></span><br />
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's easy to think that because we don't know it all we can't teach anything. </span></span><br />
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've been watching Michael Hyatt's Influence and Impact Summit this week. I've been taking lots of notes; it's material that qualifies for personal grad school (and it was free!). In her interview, Lysa TerKeurst described the different types of content creators- you know, blogger, podcasters, speakers, authors- and I realized that I am the "in your field" type of woman.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmsGIvEXdGXZBpgpEQlVx7MCH7tEKFlKIp_0zJn5zC684TrOAKiT42ZQgS_j-4G9odOzxyJYNeDnxWj6iusWLnY3Y7g_r1DmSEBm9Ojll39-Vrix-3371tTgo66cp_pKW2QFQ1Ij9ewwCN/s1600/breakfast-925876_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmsGIvEXdGXZBpgpEQlVx7MCH7tEKFlKIp_0zJn5zC684TrOAKiT42ZQgS_j-4G9odOzxyJYNeDnxWj6iusWLnY3Y7g_r1DmSEBm9Ojll39-Vrix-3371tTgo66cp_pKW2QFQ1Ij9ewwCN/s400/breakfast-925876_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not an expert. That's how I always think of bloggers/podcasters/teachers and I don't want you to ever think that about me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't know it all; most days I feel like I don't know anything. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm constantly asking for forgiveness in my walk with God, my marriage, and my mothering. I spend most of my time asking God exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I write about things that I'm only slowly learning myself. Those things may save you a few steps along the way. So why should you still read? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We all start somewhere. You can't have grown kids unless you raised your kindergartner. You can't be married thirty years until you've been married seven. You can't be a great writer unless you were once a mediocre writer who kept writing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Sometimes you need someone to come alongside you: someone is who is where you are or just a few steps down the road. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can encourage you to <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/08/what-cecil-lion-and-planned-parenthood.html" target="_blank">do the little things</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Or<a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/07/back-to-basics-bible-study.html" target="_blank"> read the Bible for learning</a> and not a to-do list. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can encouragement you not to <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/08/how-to-be-better-wife.html" target="_blank">look to your husbands for all your emotional needs</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can remind you to manage your expectations because <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/07/dream-life-versus-real-life.html" target="_blank">life isn't what we expect</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For all that I'm sharing, I'm reading and learning at least twice as much. I'm revealing the things that I'm working on to encourage you to be about the work as well, even if your work is different than mine. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This doesn't just apply to me. You are someone's teacher. Maybe you don't feel like an expert either. You think you don't know as much as she does. Or you can't do that as well as she can. But the people you influence may not know her. Or they might not have a relationship with her. (And quit comparing yourself to "her" while you're at it.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You do know that woman. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You have that opportunity to speak into her life. You have the opportunity to love that woman and remind her that God sees her. You have the opportunity to bless her family and encourage her in her mothering, her work, her singleness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's not because you're the expert and you have no questions. Often it's simply because you can walk up and say, "I know how you're feeling. I also know what God says about it. Here's the difference." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God never asks us to wait until we feel qualified to serve Him and help others. No one gets to that point. We will always be aware of our faults and problems but we can't refuse to serve God because of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are people coming along behind you that need you. It may be one kid in your Sunday School class or one hundred Twitter followers. It might be one mom that you meet, a younger colleague in the office, or a teen girl at church. It might be your little sister, a family friend on Facebook, or a college freshman who watches you in class. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't feel discouraged that you're not farther down the road than where you are. There's someone two steps behind you and you're pointing the way. There's a woman running beside you and she needs you to come alongside and say, "Keep your eyes on Jesus and keep running." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">John Maxwell said it best this week, "If you won't give three people 100%, you won't give 3,000 people 100%."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't disqualify yourself from serving. Extend what you do have and keep learning. Serve Jesus where you are and you'll serve Jesus wherever you are.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-19859119468317180522015-10-13T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-13T06:00:00.245-04:00When You're "Just" at Home<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg118H4RkHyKRAhaKXElCx8g6iu1KgILQ9OgcbLXBKw2KyxDWs0UHZ3QUD3KaA4UryvaDLSuvwi7mnhXhpkEy1rIvW0PWjjFzVBfCtfR5ZYAek1G5RR5HPUTsAcaUCodoX9iKoTb7FQxiKG/s1600/baby-821625_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg118H4RkHyKRAhaKXElCx8g6iu1KgILQ9OgcbLXBKw2KyxDWs0UHZ3QUD3KaA4UryvaDLSuvwi7mnhXhpkEy1rIvW0PWjjFzVBfCtfR5ZYAek1G5RR5HPUTsAcaUCodoX9iKoTb7FQxiKG/s400/baby-821625_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unfortunately I don't wake up with an eternal focus. I wake up wanting to go back to bed. So I try to start my day off with Jesus- reading my Bible, praying, trying to refocus my heart and mind into the framework of how He views life. I want my days to matter for eternity and I try to pray, "Lord, use me!" every morning. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One morning I prayed that and immediately thought, "I'm not going anywhere today so I guess He can't."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Did you catch what I said? "I'm not leaving the house so God can't use me." God can't use me inside these four walls with this family. That's what I thought to myself and sometimes that's even what I believe. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe you've thought it to. You've thought that real life, real ministry, real purpose was found somewhere beyond the walls of your home and the (relatively) few humans that live there. (Although there are times when it feels like they've tripled in number, right? Don't leave me hanging here, mamas.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of David's prayers was that he would "walk within his house with a perfect heart." Ps. 101:2 states his desire to live a life that honors God and it starts at home. Who we are at home is who we are; we can't hide there. The ugly comes out because it's where we are tested beyond any other situation. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Home is a place where God can use us. 1 Timothy 4:10 gives us a list of accomplishments of the godly older woman. "Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't believe all of that took place at home and it won't in our lives either. But surely some of it did. She brought up those children at home. For one thing, it's much simpler to do some of that work (potty-training, anyone?) at home. Necessity also demands it. Little ones need to eat, sleep, and play in a familiar, safe environment. Home is best for most of that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Lodging strangers took place at home. I don't think putting them up in someone else's house would count. "I'd love to serve you. Please rest over here at my neighbor's where they can care for you." At the very least it would involve an exchange of money like in the case of the Good Samaritan. She was out something for this service.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Washing the saints' feet was an act of service. There were no paved roads and cars in Bible times. It was dirty roads and probably sandals. It was a blessing to enter a home and be able to wash that dirt off your feet before you ate and rested. It makes me think of the countless times we wash little hands and give baths. Relieving the afflicted could be as simple of wiping your child's head with a cool cloth during a fever. It could be an encouraging word when your husband is discouraged. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every good work. Civilization used to be much more home centered. The work was focused at home with a knowledge that the work mattered. There was no social media with likes and shares and follows. There weren't airplanes that carried people around the world to speak to crowds. There weren't high-rise buildings with corner offices and raises to earn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Life was consumed simply in surviving. Food for this meal followed by some clean laundry and then more food preparation. They didn't buy already diced veggies from the produce section of Fresh Market. (I don't either, come to think of it.) Feeding people was a huge work that took most of the day. It exhausts me to simply think about the amount of work that they had to do to just exist. And then these godly older women served others too. Not just their own families but these others- strangers, saints, the afflicted, children (it doesn't say her own). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">She was a woman that gave of herself sacrificially to serve others. She worked hard to provide what others needed. She served invisibly- in hard work, manual labor, demeaning tasks. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God can use me, even if it's "just" at home. Every day that I spend with my children I am shaping them. I am telling them of their value. What do they hear if I say they aren't part of my real work but simply a distraction from anything that matters? What message do we pass on to our daughters about motherhood if we chafe against the confines of raising small children? And it is confining. There are things that I would love to do that I simply cannot do while I am raising my babies. But I choose this now because it's time for it; there are seasons of life. Those other things will still be there in five or ten years and my children will not be little. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course God can use us other places. And He does- even if we are mostly at home with small children. I'm not talking about that because few people dispute that. It is hard to remember that God is using us when we are doing life with littles, changing diapers, teaching letters, and tying shoes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"Lord, use me!" is still my heart's cry. I'm almost to the place that I believe it's possible- even if I'm "just" at home. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-32844600765234666612015-10-08T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-08T06:00:01.042-04:00When Culture and Truth Collide<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Christians are supposed to be counter-cultural. As our nation and world (at least parts of it-let's not be so America-centric) drift further from the Bible we are going to stick out more and more. Our ideas, character, motives, and lifestyle should be notedly different from our unsaved neighbors. We must realize when we are hearing truth and when we are hearing popular ideas that masquerade as truth. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgaRVNQvPK2lg2qloXAkJYE2GMCGQku1RC3HGr8AqYo2ZApLz_3OZ2CZx6o9XJBwnme5aZh_IpPP3Fa37ry3sMC6DBd5Cc68Bvlt2EBBNUiwDJJ24fzq92ghklp9e86x86_KUZUcX3_n6I/s1600/red-head-767078_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgaRVNQvPK2lg2qloXAkJYE2GMCGQku1RC3HGr8AqYo2ZApLz_3OZ2CZx6o9XJBwnme5aZh_IpPP3Fa37ry3sMC6DBd5Cc68Bvlt2EBBNUiwDJJ24fzq92ghklp9e86x86_KUZUcX3_n6I/s400/red-head-767078_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I only want to talk about two slogans. Partly because they are so popular and partly because these affect our lives daily.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The first one is this- "<b>Do what you love</b>." I recognize that most people are saying to pursue a job or a career that you love. That's not necessarily bad if you are privileged to do that. Sometimes though you just need to pay the bills and put food on the table. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To be honest, I do a lot of things every day that I don't just love doing. Ever potty-trained anyone? Not a love. And while I've cultivated a good attitude about housework (most of the time anyway) I don't just love washing dishes or doing the laundry. I don't just love getting out of bed every morning or going grocery shopping in the rain with three children. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So what's the antidote? What do we pursue if it's not just doing what we love? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Instead of doing what we love we need to do what needs to be done. Then learn to love that. Goethe said, "Cease endlessly striving for what you would like to do and <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2014/03/learn-to-love-what-must-be-done.html" target="_blank">learn to love what must be done.</a>" That's not a topic applauded in our world. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are "created in Christ Jesus unto good works." And 1 Timothy 5:10 gives a list that ends with "every good work." That list includes things like washing the saints' feet and bringing up children just in case you thought that work didn't qualify. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I spend my days doing things that I'm learning to love. Or at the very least learning to love for what they do for my character and my family. It often helps to look at the results of the work or the reason for the work instead of the effort of the work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm learning to love getting up at night with babies. I'm thankful for them and that's just part of it. I'm learning to love training my boys because the results are going to be men of character (I hope.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sure that's a time to pursue what you love. But there are plenty more times to knuckle down and do what needs to be done. </span></div>
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There's another saying that is just as dangerous to our lives. I cringe when I hear it (but that's it; I really don't lecture people in person regardless of what I say here). You've heard it too- "<b>Follow your heart</b>." Really? In some ways this is just another way of saying, "Do what you love." Pursue what you're interested in; consider no one besides yourself. This is erroneous advice. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Our hearts are the last thing we should follow. I don't want to look for guidance on the inside of me because I know what I am. And you know what you are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We don't need to look deep inside us for truth because it's not there. We don't need to examine our hearts and use that as an excuse for flitting through life committing to nothing. We don't need to use our flighty emotions as reasons for abandoning our families, hurting the feelings of others, and ignoring our responsibilities. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't worry; there's an antidote here too. Instead of following our hearts we should follow the Bible. I guess that's not as catchy of a phrase; you probably won't see that one waved around on the banner. But what if we tried it? What if instead of doing whatever our heart wanted to- whatever felt good- we did what the Bible said to? How much trouble would that save us? </span><br />
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How much sin would we leave behind if we made the Bible our standard? We might even cast off a few things that aren't sin but that hold us back from fully serving God. Doesn't He deserve that from us? </span><br />
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Not sure you believe me? We can evaluate our hearts quickly. Matthew 12:34 states: "O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." That's enough to tell me that my heart is not what I want to follow. But if you still need more convincing try this one. Proverbs 23:7, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:" You might have cleaned up your speech but I doubt anyone has cleaned up their thoughts enough to be impressed with themselves. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We know what we are. We know our hearts will not lead us to truth. Let's depend on the Bible to show us the way instead. Psalm 119:105 says, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." God gave us His Word to show us how to live. Let's not bumble along on our own. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We don't have to accept the world's slogans as truth. We do need to be able to evaluate what's being said in the light of Scripture.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What other popular sayings would you add to this list? How do you remember the truth when you are faced with lies? </span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-7545948684383482872015-10-06T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-06T06:00:05.395-04:00How I Stay Inspired<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUM5izaWCCWPtX2IG4tcC89CmNvAXUvqN47Be_evLNZEcRy0SG8_hbaGCIdJpplsLfxLI9PV8vg-ygIMGbOI94NTh3Ut4cihvpnDTQycXnV20gr1lQfcO4538V8iaKHeRgpjYGvZU1Z2W6/s1600/france-752123_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUM5izaWCCWPtX2IG4tcC89CmNvAXUvqN47Be_evLNZEcRy0SG8_hbaGCIdJpplsLfxLI9PV8vg-ygIMGbOI94NTh3Ut4cihvpnDTQycXnV20gr1lQfcO4538V8iaKHeRgpjYGvZU1Z2W6/s400/france-752123_1280.jpg" width="300" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With small kids, everything happens at once. Sometimes when I start cooking lunch I spend twenty minutes alternating between fishing some scrap of paper out of the baby's mouth, taking a child to the potty, correcting another child, changing a diaper, getting someone a drink, and moving the baby away from whatever "dangerous" spot he's found. And all I've done for lunch is turn on the stove. </span></div>
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's easy to feel overwhelmed in a house full of small children no matter how much you love them. As my children get older and I've been mothering longer (funny how those two go together) I'm learning ways to stay filled up instead of just pouring out all day. </span></span><br />
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know this is a touchy topic. Should moms pursue "me time"? Do we spend every minute in service to our family and think we can do it happily because we love them and love Jesus? Moms are still women first. It's hard to nurture anyone else when you are running on empty.</span></span><br />
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course there's a caution in this.</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> When I want to run away and escape I have a problem. No rest will be enough, no vacation will cheer me up if I want to be released from the responsibilities that God has given me. </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">Carolyn Mahaney</a><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> said that the point of rest was to strengthen ourselves for service. And the point of this recharging is to better steward the talents and opportunities God has placed before us- whether it's motherhood or some other work. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So how do I recharge or fill back up? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. Spend time in the Word.</b> Read it. Soak it up. Let God speak to your heart. This is what I need more than anything. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Read good books.</b> I'm always reading books about marriage, mothering, homemaking, writing, creativity, and sometimes even business. I need that spark of ideas and the reminder of why I do what I do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. Write. </b>Even if it's not for public eye writing helps me understand my beliefs. Writing about my thoughts helps organize them and captures a fleeting picture of life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>4. Have real conversations.</b> Real conversations preferably aren't interrupted by texts or Twitter and center on more than the weather or the latest trend in scarves. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>5. Do focused work</b>. For me this looks like piano lessons and my <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/09/8-tips-for-planning-personal-projects.html" target="_blank">art project</a>. Just getting out of the house to wander around Wal-Mart wouldn't be as helpful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tomorrow on the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/uniquely-woman/id1028934614" target="_blank">Uniquely Woman podcast</a> I'm interviewing <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/LightandTruth" target="_blank">Tori Gillit</a> and we discuss inspiration and social media and how she stays inspired. Be sure to download the episode and leave us a rating and review once you listen! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What do you do to recharge? How do you stay filled up in the midst of your responsibilities? What are your thoughts on motherhood and womanhood and managing both?</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-57928890666883188252015-10-01T06:00:00.000-04:002015-10-01T06:00:01.697-04:00Embracing Discomfort<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIEfDFM0jRiK2cW_FwYVI6QdfgA8qJmwTxNjxN4kmHRHQsu5qfNSd5lugtaySsiMwg1sA3OGVa1wKEyvAfdpKaRO6EAm0rz00m59YMglXu2Zn9OwvEXaO5fYF-K-eeT5QVKrKUXCA-5Uz_/s1600/drink-864958_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIEfDFM0jRiK2cW_FwYVI6QdfgA8qJmwTxNjxN4kmHRHQsu5qfNSd5lugtaySsiMwg1sA3OGVa1wKEyvAfdpKaRO6EAm0rz00m59YMglXu2Zn9OwvEXaO5fYF-K-eeT5QVKrKUXCA-5Uz_/s400/drink-864958_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've been introducing myself to strangers lately. It's not something I really enjoy and even the fact that we have mutual acquaintances and purpose to the meetings doesn't really help. But I have learned to do it without choking, physically at least. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God has intentionally been sticking these opportunities in front of me- opportunities that I really want to take- so that I have to step up when I'd rather not. I'd rather not make a phone call. I'd rather not show up when I don't recognize any faces. I'd rather not offer my skills when I'm afraid I'll be laughed at. But I've been doing it anyway. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Most of it has come from doing what I'd rather not in everyday life. I'd rather not clean up another accident, draft that email, get out of bed. But I do because God tells me to. The little work has been training in obedience for when the harder things arrive. As I learn to obey today I'm preparing myself for what's down the road. Even if I clean up cheerios three times today I know that I can do it again tomorrow. And then I learn to do it with a smile, teaching the boys how to help me with a good attitude. Hard things becomes habits and I find they don't take the mental effort that they used to. Then I can tackle another hard thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes it goes really well with strangers and with the obedience. We hit it off; I find a place to assist with the work; I clean up the spill without losing my temper. Sometimes I'm left relieved that I did what I was supposed to and I didn't turn my back on uncomfortable opportunity. "All opportunity is uncomfortable. That's where you have to live life." It's easy to believe that on those days. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And other times it's everything I fear it will be. I leave remembering all the things I said that perhaps I shouldn't have or I fall asleep at night wishing I could take back those words or that wasted time. I would rather curl up on the couch with a book instead of writing my own story because I'm very likely to embarrass myself. If I don't do anything I can at least avoid that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That's not entirely true. Once I've wasted my life I'll see all the things that I could have done if I had lived in that discomfort. I'll see the people I could have helped, the places I could have served, and realize that all the potential embarrassment in the world shouldn't have been enough to stop me. The point of life isn't to avoid mistakes or humiliation. The purpose of life is to pour myself out serving God and helping others. The purpose is to empty myself every day for the people that God places in my path instead of trying to keep it all in my grasp. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And yes, sometimes that means I mess up. But I'm going to keep introducing myself. I'm going to keep cleaning up the messes, filing the papers, folding the laundry. I'm going to get off the couch and live my story. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-43940367687159357452015-09-29T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-29T06:00:08.844-04:00Self-Esteem and Glasses<div>
<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Obviously we have to start this with the obligatory self-esteem discussion. This is not a tribute to just believing in yourself and how awesome you are. But we can't deny that what we believe about ourselves shows up in how we present ourselves and how others view us. Disclaimer over but I would love to have a conversation with you about self-esteem. Leave a comment or hop over to IG or Twitter.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One summer during junior high I got a clothing catalog. I don't remember the company or any particular clothes but I do remember colors and an aesthetic that assured me that I too could be beautiful. I wasted too much time that summer browsing that magazine and comparing my appearance with glasses to my appearance without glasses. Time that I can never recover unfortunately. </span></span></div>
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I got glasses in the first grade because I couldn't see the board. Seems that it's hard to learn that way and that it caught my teacher's attention. I got my first pair of contacts when I was a freshman in high school. Trust me when I say that drastically improved my physical attractiveness, mostly due to the style of the glasses I was wearing. I religiously avoided wearing glasses in front of people for years. But sometime after I had Micah I developed an eye problem and I can't wear contacts on a regular basis. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So the glasses are back. I've always had a bit of an ugly duckling syndrome (as has every female I've spoken to). I don't know if you feel like this but I think my appearance has improved as I've gotten older. I could dig up some old pictures for you, but really, why? It was only after college that I (semi) learned to fix my hair, learned some makeup tricks, and started to develop some style. Am I being a little harsh on myself? Probably- but not much. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When first I started wearing glasses all the time I picked a pair that seemed the least noticeable. My goal was for them to be almost invisible. (Honestly my goal was to be as invisible as possible too.) I took them off for pictures and felt less attractive in them. But somewhere over the past year things have changed- I've started to pick up a little confidence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't believe that physical attractiveness is the issue in self-esteem. You can't really change how you look and what's the standard for beauty anyway? Instead I started to find confidence in doing what God's given me to do. Proverbs 3:26 says, "For the Lord shall be thy confidence." Instead of looking at the woman beside me and comparing myself to her I could just run my race. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How we look or how much money we have or how talented we are doesn't matter in life unless we are surrendering all of that to God. But once we give those things to God the less concerned we are with how we present ourselves means the more we have to give to the people and to the work. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When I was at Influence Conference I had this same conversation with another woman. She felt like it was easier to hide in the corner so she tried to help herself out too. I've been working on my posture: back straight, elbows out instead of tucked in an effort to take up the least amount of room imaginable. Look people in the eyes, smile, speak up. Clean yourself up and then forget about it. You can do that when you've put in some effort. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have a long way to go with this but it is working. When I went to pick out glasses this year I knew exactly what I wanted. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Before it was "I have to wear glasses so let's make them as least noticeable as possible." This time it was "I have to wear glasses so let's rock it out." ("Rock it out" is my new phrase. Let's do it with <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/07/two-sides-of-balanced-faith.html" target="_blank">enthusiasm, passion, and muscle</a>.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love my new glasses but you know what I've discovered? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Nobody else notices you.</b> They get a "air" of who you are. Confident, insecure, vain, others-centered. Very few people have noticed my new glasses. We could help ourselves by remembering that no one is paying attention to us because they are focused on themselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So all those things that you don't like about yourself? Few people notice. The things you would change aren't even a blip on anyone else's radar. Forget them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">While it sounds spiritual to say our appearance shouldn't matter and we shouldn't care, we all know that's not real life. At some point we each have to go deeper than how we look on the outside. That's what's worked for me. I do my best to look nice and then I do the work God has for me today. There's a strong confidence in standing where God put you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think we mention in almost every <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/uniquely-woman/id1028934614" target="_blank">podcast episode</a> that it all comes back to our personal walk with Christ. And by <i>all</i> I really do mean everything. Our confidence, our joy, and the grace we extend to others (and hopefully ourselves) all overflow from our walk with God. I always picture Ephesians 3:19 like a teacup and saucer. We (the teacup) know God loves us which enables us to be filled with the fulness of God. Then guess what splashes onto everything around us (the saucer)? God's love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Ephesians 3:19</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What's been your experience with self-esteem? How do you describe it and what's your story? Leave a comment or hop over to social media to tell me. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-5836782118405186152015-09-24T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-24T06:00:08.711-04:00What I Really Want for Our Marriage<div class="MsoPlainText">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSht3M5SJ1BW1ahuhoVKZgjb_oXKPK0aUGf4Mi96qQ1XsTLGz5Pw8fb1-bE6Wd5BP2Z_E-Xm1w9Hvuzi-0gMGjH2yL9DNJ8qYr8uaXWFTqLIdzNZvuuyEOKW78JrADcjSkciK9oNc0qq8K/s1600/bridal-636018_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSht3M5SJ1BW1ahuhoVKZgjb_oXKPK0aUGf4Mi96qQ1XsTLGz5Pw8fb1-bE6Wd5BP2Z_E-Xm1w9Hvuzi-0gMGjH2yL9DNJ8qYr8uaXWFTqLIdzNZvuuyEOKW78JrADcjSkciK9oNc0qq8K/s400/bridal-636018_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sometimes it seems that all days are long. I sit feeding the baby before putting him in bed, letting the book close in my lap, while Curious George plays in the kitchen where the older boys eat a snack. His strong legs lift the ottoman off the rug and run the vacuum
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Not because I asked. Because it needed vacuumed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He sacrifices his time and resources for our well-being.
He works his days because he loves it and to keep us in this home where we play
and learn. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He rarely asks for anything- occasionally some new sunglasses
to put around his shaved head or a sandwich when he comes home for lunch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He's mine. I said "yes" the day he asked me
to marry him. That day when we were still teenagers and only knew we wanted to
do life together. I was barely out of my teens the day we said "I do"
in a simple ceremony in December. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We moved easily into life together. Homework because I was still
in school, dinners that we cooked together in our tiny apartment where we didn't
have curtains. We watched movies on the air mattress in front of the TV on Friday nights and
slept until 11 the next morning in the cozy bed that had been handed down for generations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We disagreed. We still do. Two different people moving
together through life are bound to. But I went into each day with him with one
resolve- to give him more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">More grace when he messes up. More benefit of the doubt
when I feel offended. More respect than I give to another. He's been the
best of things to me and I want to give him my best. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's easiest to give him my
worst. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To save the soft answers for the woman at church that
hurts my feelings. To keep the patience for the children on a good day or for
the slow, grumbling cashier at the store. To consider the emotions of a stranger that
cares nothing for me while making assumptions about his intentions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to save my best for him. I want to nurture a love that's holding hands walking into the restaurant or the hospital, into riches or want. I want to give more
to this one whose story is intertwined with mine and not to others who only play a secondary role. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because one motivation is out of love and the other is to be impressive. He knows me too well to be impressed; he sees my best and my worst. I can think that those who don't know me well are impressed with me. Maybe they are sometimes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The impressions are fake. They don't see me when I'm tired and the kids have been up all night and I've not had any coffee. They don't see me roll my eyes or raise my voice or apologize for sarcastic answers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He does. He chooses me anyway. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And every morning I choose him. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-45765468672299629472015-09-22T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-22T06:00:02.243-04:00Your Hands Reveal Your Heart<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">They move across the piano keys, sometimes swiftly, sometimes stumbling. They knead the bread dough, rinse the carrots, chop the chicken. They type on the computer keyboard and jot notes in my planner. They hold my husband's hands, hug my boys, wash little baby toes. They move the pencil to form pictures, hold the broom to clean the floor, fold the shirts out of the dryer. They answer the phone, move the iced coffee to my mouth, and open the door. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-CQq6UtYu3MS8sYd4ysaHnYEEzEd9CN1JV0ybRewyEhVbUFXCQ_YJDtpS0T7yHFaE2gXaE3yxY7QizR8qH6ulAs9fw8tO2gHIs7rM2ilcUCepTav_HuYIMXS2s_Q0rC3J_ZF4FTLxjEKd/s1600/piano-801707_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-CQq6UtYu3MS8sYd4ysaHnYEEzEd9CN1JV0ybRewyEhVbUFXCQ_YJDtpS0T7yHFaE2gXaE3yxY7QizR8qH6ulAs9fw8tO2gHIs7rM2ilcUCepTav_HuYIMXS2s_Q0rC3J_ZF4FTLxjEKd/s400/piano-801707_1280.jpg" width="400" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My hands are probably the part of my body I am most aware of throughout the day. They do so much. They show love to others, care for my family, and express creativity. They are the outlet for my brain. </span><br />
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The work they do reveals my heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They aren't a model's hands; no one will ever ask to photograph my hands to advertise jewelry. I used to be embarrassed that my hands were so big but now I'm just thankful. Big hands can spread more than an octave on the piano, set a volleyball with better contact, and hold far more little cars than small hands could. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This mindset is gradually carrying over to more than just my hands. I'm learning to see things (including myself) for how they work and bless others instead of how they look. </span><br />
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To be less superficial in my views. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Less obsessive about appearance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Less concerned with the outside and more preoccupied with the heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My hands are working hands. When I'm eighty I hope they are hands that have served strangers, painted pictures that have cheered homes, written words that pointed others to Jesus, changed diapers for countless baby bottoms and lightened the load for young mothers. I hope they have helped others up, filled bellies with food, played the piano, and managed money with a balanced heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am doing that work today because today makes up a piece of the future. I am typing the words. I am cooking the food, changing the diapers, turning the pages of the story, cutting the grapes, pulling the weeds. I am pushing the keys, drawing the pictures, wiping the counter. This home is at present my primary serving place. I want to do my work here well because to do otherwise would reveal a cold heart toward this mission field.</span><br />
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What are your hands doing? What work are you performing? If you examine your work you will find your heart. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Christ has no hands but our hands to do His work today, He has no feet but our feet to lead men in the way, He has no tongue but our tongue to tell men how He died, He has no help but our help to bring them to His side. Annie Johnston Flint</span></blockquote>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-33260586793846031692015-09-15T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-15T06:00:09.960-04:00When Serving God is Good<div style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi97fr4S7IQyOzMV8RRuDNLm7ORuqtxVQ10hYqgqRIiOi2l81d7p3-T2t1bFznxmiqnRYyd9htrnD6C6I_m42S10v67SNeYeGzUcoeAT_RUnpoIB_MrC99WLVgh_YzSk-GG1LIxJXywH8VG/s1600/woman-489118_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi97fr4S7IQyOzMV8RRuDNLm7ORuqtxVQ10hYqgqRIiOi2l81d7p3-T2t1bFznxmiqnRYyd9htrnD6C6I_m42S10v67SNeYeGzUcoeAT_RUnpoIB_MrC99WLVgh_YzSk-GG1LIxJXywH8VG/s400/woman-489118_1280.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My pastor hates when preachers tell stories that make God look small. You've heard them. "I was going to preach somewhere and we were broke. They didn't give me an offering to buy gas but they gave me a chicken. My wife cooked that chicken over a fire by the road and while we were eating someone stopped by and put a gallon of gas in the car." He always says, "Who wants to serve that God?" </span></div>
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Serving God can get a bad rap. "Come serve God and you can be miserable too!" It's easy to see how it turns into that. After all, God does call us to die to self and take up our cross. He did send His own Son to Calvary. </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We've all heard someone deliver the "God called me to do all the things I hated in life and I did them and it was hard."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In real life I don't know anyone like that- at least no one I want to be like. That does not inspire or motivate me to serve God. And if I want to serve God I can only imagine how it sounds to people who are on the fence about giving their lives as well as their hearts to Jesus. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not at all suggesting that we water down God's Word to be appealing to me or anyone else. I'm not suggesting that we make the will of God seem like walks along the beach at sunset. I am suggesting that maybe we should look at our own lives and see what's been true for us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. Psalm 34:8</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We have to purposely look for the good in life. We are naturally bent to notice the negative. The heartbreaking moments of life are seared into us by force of emotion. We don't have to try to remember them. But we do have to challenge ourselves to see the good; otherwise we can walk right by without once thanking God for it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Writing is an excellent memory aid. I have an apparently faulty memory and it helps to look back over answered prayers and issues and events in life. So I started a list. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have my own family and a home to care for. I get to work in various ministries through our church. I'm using my writing skills not just here on the blog but also in other avenues. I've coached volleyball and counseled women. I could go on but I'm not really that interested in your knowing my list. </span></div>
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I want you to make your own list.</i> Sit down with a pencil and notebook (or the notes app on your iPhone) and think about the things that you do now or have done. Write down all the things that you do that you truly enjoy or have always wanted to do or hope to keep doing. Most of you can come up with something. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But what if you aren't there yet? Maybe your list is small. Maybe you're a new Christian and you don't know where to start. You might not be sure how life can be good once God starts reshaping your heart. Here are a few ideas. </span><br />
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<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. Take opportunities. </b></span></span><div style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't worry about whether you are the most qualified. There will <i>always</i> be someone more qualified. But they might not be where you are. If you are available and willing you are the person. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Develop skills even if you don't know how/when you will use them.</b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You can't expect God to use you if you won't put in some work. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you are interested in something, learn more about it. As you learn skills God will bring opportunities to use them in His timing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. Learn to love what you do. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Life will never consist of only doing your favorite things. If you can learn to love what is in front of you, you will enjoy life so much more. Don't we all want to radiate joy even in the midst of a less-than-perfect life? It might take some practice but you can get there. Start by asking God to change your heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every person has hard things in life. In no way am I trying to remove that truth. But as I walk in hard things I don't have to do it alone. The presence of God is a gift that softens the sharp edges of difficulties. </span></div>
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I should serve Him just because of what He's done for me- whether or not it's hard, whether or not I like it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Instead He gives me opportunities to serve in ways that I love. That makes me love Him more. </span><br />
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Maybe you're not at a place in life where you can say that. That's ok. You can say that living for God is hard- because it is. But hear this- God made you; He knows you; He loves you. And He has a plan for your life that surpasses where you are at this moment. Don't quit. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-14749608154396817512015-09-10T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-10T06:00:09.267-04:00Quit Before You're Finished<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMgCqdCePUuRnRtznf2Du_L99PfDRd5aqFQuj-b7HbS25y76G9dR4gI9gP3xNRkQRKb9C9ftHYsOAe0tm305Vl6ZNX1glgX2yA_1ImEknHi1gGwbrxmTiE2Jvx9jfGSsgpXtelVt04wpKx/s1600/volleyball-451581_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMgCqdCePUuRnRtznf2Du_L99PfDRd5aqFQuj-b7HbS25y76G9dR4gI9gP3xNRkQRKb9C9ftHYsOAe0tm305Vl6ZNX1glgX2yA_1ImEknHi1gGwbrxmTiE2Jvx9jfGSsgpXtelVt04wpKx/s400/volleyball-451581_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I played volleyball in college for two years. I knew I was on a downhill stretch after I turned down a varsity spot twice; what's really the point after that unless you are playing for fun? I have to try really hard to play for fun; I want to win. We were playing to lose and I don't like losing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When we lost a Thursday night game I was aching all weekend to get back in the gym. Sweat through another practice remembering it wasn't over yet. That loss wasn't the final call. Practice was like a sign that it wasn't over. There was still a game even if we had lost. Again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I love to play volleyball so practice was always over before I was ready. I loved to play even in the gym with no air-conditioning and I would have ran drills and scrimmaged all night. But for some reason even colleges are weird about you spending time doing homework and passing classes and not just playing ball. So I left every day looking forward to the next practice. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the tricks you learn with kids is to quit before they're done. Stop the activity while everyone is still having fun. Stop before they get bored and start looking to derail the activity. It's a great rule of thumb for small children. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've also learned that most rules of thumb for small children are also applicable for adults. Don't run yourself into the ground over something (without a serious deadline) if you want to keep enjoying it. I love to blog. I make no money from it and I'm not trying to. I've read that's one of the quickest ways to hate blogging and I think it would be for me. I don't want to start stressing over something I enjoy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This principle means that I don't do things to exhaustion. Ok, correction, I don't do "work" tasks (writing, art, piano) to exhaustion. Some of this is others-imposed. I can only practice piano for so long before my children start climbing the walls. But this practice pays off. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Creative experts tell you to quit when you know what you're doing next. Quit when you know what the next line is, the next topic, the next chapter. Quit when you know what you need to work on next on the piano- the next scale, the next add-in. Quit when you want to draw another picture or work on chins one more time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's much easier to come back the next day knowing where to start. That's a lot more energizing and you waste less time than if you have to sit and try to think of what to do. Find the new places to start while you are still in the work flow. Give your future self a head start. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So put up the playdough while everyone's having fun. Stop practicing piano while you are still loving it. Write the first section of that new chapter and then put it down. Let it live in your mind until it's time to go at it again. Work in enthusiasm and not necessity whenever possible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course this doesn't really apply to cleaning toilets or folding laundry. Just do those and be done. Until tomorrow at least. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-16995214721509678962015-09-08T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-09T08:47:44.479-04:00The Woman Across the Table: Where Service Isn't Fame<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIIafp9NLUJjemNNXgcvNMBPNrUThG_tG4dMKpoYM7H2hDLyU3bx3qZANHMAmBeDwuUA4CotExp3GHUHzD79Rj47Dbp3VRCdUGh7VPhbliExNEZZZfO_KaLXKUa397r_xDww5WzAI-Hvuv/s1600/strategise-865006_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIIafp9NLUJjemNNXgcvNMBPNrUThG_tG4dMKpoYM7H2hDLyU3bx3qZANHMAmBeDwuUA4CotExp3GHUHzD79Rj47Dbp3VRCdUGh7VPhbliExNEZZZfO_KaLXKUa397r_xDww5WzAI-Hvuv/s400/strategise-865006_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In less than two weeks, I'm going to be at <a href="https://theinfluencenetwork.com/" target="_blank">Influence Conference</a>. I'm so excited! There are several people I know online that I can't wait to meet in person (Why was that so much creepier 10 years ago?) and some of my favorite internet people will be speaking. My husband always laughs when I mention something that one of my favorite internet people wrote. But really, that's a thing; you have favorite internet people too. Yes? Yes. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The internet makes the world so small. 2015 is amazing. We have companies helping people around the world, women encouraging women from their living rooms, and access to all the learning and education we could want. It's also easy to find the women who have a gift for speaking truth or sharing their lives online. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As much as I might love their work or their art or their whatever-it-is-that-they-do they are still only internet people. </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I don't know them- at least no more than what they choose to reveal about themselves. They don't know me. They aren't going to come alongside me when my child is ill or teach me new skills that I can use to serve God. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They are just one or two or three people. Do you know how many women there are in the U.S.? 158.6 million in 2009. Can ten, twenty, or even fifty "famous" online women, no matter how gifted or intelligent they are, really know and help all those women? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course not. Jess Connolly wrote a beautiful piece about<a href="http://jessconnolly.com/#/contentandcommunity/" target="_blank"> having to choose to create or respond</a>. All of us only have so much time and so many resources. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's always in human nature to be drawn to the big names. We want to know the leader, to sit at the cool kids table, to feel validated by being accepted by the "famous." And there's value in surrounding yourself with the right kind of people. Jeff Goins has talked about it in a <a href="http://goinswriter.com/content-is-king/" target="_blank">podcast about Hemingway</a> and <a href="http://goinswriter.com/creative-success/" target="_blank">his own move to Nashville</a>. But sometimes it's just a search for validation. "If I know the popular kids then I'm accepted." We're not that far above elementary school lunchroom behavior after all. Why not <a href="http://goinswriter.com/left-out/" target="_blank">make our own table</a>?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We all know women who love God and are serving Him. They have just as much to offer even if they aren't well-known or don't have a huge online following or haven't written a book. We know women who are digging into the Word and loving their neighbor well. We know women who serve their families and strengthen their husbands and train their children in righteousness. We know women who dedicate time to pursuing skills and passions so that they can use them for God. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Make a table with those ladies. Invite them in. Get to know them- learn from them and help them. Maybe even face-to-face and not just on Twitter (although Twitter is really growing on me). This may be your grandma who makes cookies every week for the neighborhood kids. Or it might be the lady who volunteers at the shelter, works in the church nursery, or teaches teens English. You may be surprised how often you find these people who have so much to teach you right in your life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Stop waiting to be recognized. We cannot all be the popular people and we don't need to be. Forge a path where you are. You don't have to be known by the big names to be accepted or valuable (although, let's be real, your message might reach more people that way). That confident walk where Christ has called you will speak for itself no matter where you are. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Stop waiting for the known names to do all the work. There are people that only you can reach. You at home with your little kids still impact others. You caring for your aging parent, working two jobs to support your family, or struggling in your season of life will still meet women who need the help you can give. We can't leave the work to the missionaries, our pastors, or the ones who have authored books. They can't do it all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We can each do our part though. If we all served up the <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/04/our-present-mission-field.html" target="_blank">influence we have where we are</a>- pointing others to Jesus- we might be surprised at what we can do throughout our lifetime. One day at a time, one person at a time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now when I go to Influence Conference am I going to introduce myself to my favorite internet people? You betcha. I'll probably even try to take a selfie (or if I get lucky, someone else will take the picture). But I'm going to spend most of my time getting to know the women sitting at the table across from me who are doing extraordinary things with their ordinary lives. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-687400293176781532015-09-03T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-03T06:00:11.509-04:008 Tips for Planning Personal Projects + a #52for2015 Update<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 21.466667175293px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." Picasso</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Most of the projects I do are, in some sense, for someone else. The writing shows up here on the blog and on social media. I practice piano partially (but not mostly) because I play at church. This year I unintentionally started an art project and today I jotted down some reasons this project was succeeding and accomplishing more than what I set out to. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Maybe you want to plan a project and don't know where to start. Fear is what typically stops me. What if it all turns out to be a waste of time? Well, watching tv probably is a waste of time too and we all do that. So why not get to work? </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTKr4sm0DnF9YtKL2HRb5Ct0wpxhdrNcmRzMMLXriUJZx4bwJBMiQPRNnb27gI_Wocu3ZgUwNrQAYxOJHA_1JMqWoF57xtpzK6S8EYMtRtbD6_qy13wiZd-3cHR2iw-IgeXYvDG3fJJbP6/s1600/kanga+and+roo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTKr4sm0DnF9YtKL2HRb5Ct0wpxhdrNcmRzMMLXriUJZx4bwJBMiQPRNnb27gI_Wocu3ZgUwNrQAYxOJHA_1JMqWoF57xtpzK6S8EYMtRtbD6_qy13wiZd-3cHR2iw-IgeXYvDG3fJJbP6/s400/kanga+and+roo.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>1. Decide your purpose.</b> My art project was solely for me. Maybe you want to do a project that will allow you to make handmade Christmas presents for your family or crafts to sell. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>2. Pick something you like.</b> I have always loved drawing. I used to fill sketchbooks when I was younger. However I haven't made time for art on a consistent basis since I took a drawing class freshman year of college. Use these personal projects as a space to explore something you like. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvAiwWv-vWrVDCdn3Z_Da655DMBMbklumD8RdTQnAxiIjq0yDICKxiv4p_cfCcvxN7n1LQu_GNY5q4M0WRqiEse3qIM5ysb-FrZvJ5V6JSNmSzVIxj7jXyKskU2EzmBivkRF44qqnS3qyb/s1600/baby+elephant.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvAiwWv-vWrVDCdn3Z_Da655DMBMbklumD8RdTQnAxiIjq0yDICKxiv4p_cfCcvxN7n1LQu_GNY5q4M0WRqiEse3qIM5ysb-FrZvJ5V6JSNmSzVIxj7jXyKskU2EzmBivkRF44qqnS3qyb/s400/baby+elephant.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>3. Pick something small. </b>One of the biggest excuses against doing a project of any sort is a lack of time. My original plan was to spend <a href="http://www.maggiewhitley.com/2015/08/working-in-20-minute-increments/" target="_blank">20 minutes a week</a> on a drawing. That's a totally reasonable goal even with everything else I do. It did grow over the year because I have enjoyed the project so much. But start small and get bigger instead of realizing it doesn't fit your life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/07/when-to-work-what-to-work-on.html" target="_blank">4. Designate a work time.</a></b> I decided I would do my weekly sketches on Tuesday night once the boys were in bed. When I decided I wanted to do the small daily sketches at the beginning of quiet time I tried it out for a week to make sure it would fit into real life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>5. Build in accountability.</b> I share my #52for2015 work every Wednesday on <a href="https://instagram.com/delighting_days" target="_blank">Instagram</a>. There have been plenty of times I would have skipped the work on Tuesday but I knew I was supposed to share it. Granted, this is causal accountability. Nobody is going to hunt me down if I don't post but it still works. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>6. Allow your focus to change.</b> I do the small daily sketches now; I did not plan on that at the beginning. I have also changed mediums during the year to keep the work fresh and interesting. If you are too rigid and don't grow with yourself you will lose interest. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>7. Find your supporters.</b> Every time I show a drawing or painting to my husband he says, "I want it for my office." We joke about it now but it still feels nice. (He actually does have the elephant drawing.) There is also a large artistic community on Instagram and I've connected with some of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>8. Decide what success looks like.</b> You might want to get all those Christmas gifts made or finish some projects you have already started. But have some general idea of what you want to accomplish. I want to finish 52 pieces by the end of the year (I completed #36 this week). I also want to learn some new techniques. Knowing what I want to accomplish keeps me from comparing my work to anyone else's and getting discouraged. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm about to fill up my sketchbook. Obviously it's full of terrible drawings; I did not show you all of them on purpose. But I have a sketchbook full of drawings and not just tv shows I've watched to account for some of my time this year. I think it's fun to track <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2014/03/art-beauty-of-limits.html" target="_blank">small progress</a> (that's why I'm keeping a list of <a href="http://delightingdays.blogspot.com/2015/07/books-ive-read-this-year.html" target="_blank">books I've read this year</a>); it's easy to think you're not doing anything when you really are. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Reclaim some old passion that you haven't visited in years. Then tag me on IG or Twitter (@delighting_days) so I can see it. Or you can post it to the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/delightingdays" target="_blank">facebook wall</a>. I'd love to see what you're working on! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">-Most of the drawings are based on book illustrations or Pinterest ideas.</span> </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2858213412558479965.post-50576548759561885672015-09-01T06:00:00.000-04:002015-09-01T06:00:08.624-04:00One Brushstroke at a Time<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="orphans: 2; text-align: -webkit-auto; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"A masterpiece still comes together one brushstroke at a time." Ruth Simons</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="https://instagram.com/gracelaced/" target="_blank">Ruth is one of my favorite internet people</a> (and I get to hear her speak at Influence Conference in a few weeks!). She has six boys. She writes. She homeschools. And she has a <a href="http://www.gracelaced.com/shoppe-landing/" target="_blank">shoppe</a>. That's impressive work but her words point out an easily forgotten truth. It's the little things. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIClUSmmvx5xraOFr8HJV8IGQIcHg94eJYkKGYOP_IR32LUwGxIO_QWQLFtIcePPTLeyadJxKvBx5RlNNi5NzT5DNZiMu3Vj-Az29O0G36ffNZfczbYGaSakEYD3uOrewzBvbpe4JEhKwr/s1600/painter-866754_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIClUSmmvx5xraOFr8HJV8IGQIcHg94eJYkKGYOP_IR32LUwGxIO_QWQLFtIcePPTLeyadJxKvBx5RlNNi5NzT5DNZiMu3Vj-Az29O0G36ffNZfczbYGaSakEYD3uOrewzBvbpe4JEhKwr/s400/painter-866754_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our lives are made up of days. How we choose to live our days turns into how we live our lives. We see the overall vision for life in the Bible; it's not a secret. But the details will be different because God doesn't stamp people out factory style. He designs each person individually. My work today will be different from your work today. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But each day we both get to choose. What kind of brush stroke will we put on the painting? Will I pick the right colors? Will I put on strength and honor as my clothes? Will I be virtuous, prayerful, careful with my words? Will I bend my will- surrender- to the things in life I didn't expect? Does Jesus have full control over my life today? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I get to choose where the brush stroke goes. This is a time of laying on the broad underlayers of colors. It's necessary- the painting won't be complete without it- but it's nothing fancy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I do all the unseen things. I clean up accidents and spills. I cook dinner. I run errands. I do the reading lesson and push the swings. I welcome my husband home and celebrate his work. I work on memorizing a piano piece. I write my 500 words. I draw today's sketch. I pour the Bible into my heart and mind. I run and do yoga. Nothing big. Nothing flashy. But all important. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Because what will life be if I don't cook dinner and teach my children? How will my writing read in five years if I don't write the words today? What will be left to celebrate in my marriage if I don't nurture it now? Do your work with the future in mind. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">These are the things that add up my children's faith, character, and education. The training they receive now will shape the adults they become. Necessary though often tedious. Ordinary and yet split through with glory. The little moments that make me want to pull out my hair are changing my children's lives. The words that I write today in Evernote and in my notebook are going to turn into blog posts and <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/uniquely-woman/id1028934614" target="_blank">podcast </a>episodes. It all adds up over time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today matters for today. Pick well. If you go to bed exhausted tonight go to bed exhausted from pouring yourself into your work. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today matters for the future. Consider the future as you make your choices today. Today shapes tomorrow. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0