Monday, October 14, 2013

Nurturing Our Marriage

"Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again." Max Lucado
Last spring our Pastor talked about wartime marriages in marriage class. They knew the value of time. They also knew there was a good chance they didn't have much of it. 

In America, we tend to take time for granted. People can live long, healthy lives. People usually do live long, healthy lives. But we aren't guaranteed those long, healthy lives. The Bible says life is short, like a vapor. (James 4:14)

I want to nurture my marriage every single day. I don't want to assume that I can do it tomorrow because we might not have tomorrow. Now honestly, I can't focus on this thought to any extreme because then I get sad and fearful about tomorrow instead of motivated to make the most of today.  But the concept must be there.  We are not promised fifty years together. Or even seven. We have today. 

So what can I do to nurture my marriage today? What can I do to love my husband? 

1. Smile at him. When he wakes up. When he comes home. When I talk on the phone (seriously, it makes a difference in your voice!). When we're mobilizing the troops for battle (i.e. corralling the children). When I'm tired. When he's discouraged. 

2. Touch him! Pat his arm. Rub his shoulder. Kiss him. Give him a hug. 

3. Listen to him. My husband has lots of stories. Stories about work mostly. And those are stories about his life. I want to hear him. I want him to know he's important to me. 

4. Laugh with him. We are constantly doing ridiculous things and cracking each other up. We'll probably embarrass our kids when they are older. 

5. Care for him. For me, this means clean clothes. Dinner when he comes home (at least the promise of dinner cooking!). A reasonably clean, if somewhat messy, house. 

6. Moderate our home. What does this mean? I was sick last week and I observed something. My husband needs me as a buffer. He needs my creativity for spending time with our kids. He needs my energy for being excited about our life. 

7. Be happy. My husband desires my happiness.  I cannot depend on him to make him happy but I can give him the gift of my joy. 

8. Make him the focus. When it comes to our marriage I can focus on him or I can focus on me. I want to make him the focus and die to self. 

And then I want to do these things day after day after day. 

Because one of those days will be the last one. 

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