If You Don't Plant Anything

If you don't plant anything, God won't give the increase.   

If you don't witness, you won't win souls. 

If you don't train your children, they won't grow in godliness. 

If you don't nurture your marriage, it won't please God. 

If you don't plant bean seeds, you won't grow beans. 

I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labor. 1 Corinthians 3:6-8

My earthly abilities are so small. There are so many thing I can't do. I can't make my children grow up to serve Jesus. I can't force my husband to make right decisions every day. I can't be the type of woman that God outlines in the Scriptures.  Those are things that only God can do.

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But even with that, I have to do my part. God has given me a task to do in each of those endeavors. When you plant a flower seed, you can't make it grow. But God won't grow it if you leave the seeds laying on your kitchen counter. Only God can cause that seed to grow but I must go plant it.  

I can teach my children the Bible- line upon line, precept upon precept. I can teach them to shape their behavior according to Bible principles. 

I can pray for my husband. I can use my influence to help him choose right. 

I can yield myself to the Spirit's control. I can guard my heart and what I put into it. I can feed myself the Bible and allow God to grow me.  

Most people fall to an extreme in this like with everything. (Isn't balance really an elusive goal?)  We either believe we can do it all by ourselves if we just work hard enough or we think that God will do it all and we can just sit on the couch. God does the work but He uses people to do it. 

He outlined in the Bible the path to fulfilling the Great Commission. We are to go. We are to win. We are to baptize. We are to teach. But really, can we win? Only God can convict of sin. Can we baptize? Only God can place a desire to obey in a person's heart. Can we teach? Oh, we can say words but only God can shape a heart with those words. 

And yet, we must go. We must open our mouths and tell someone that Jesus died to save them or they will never hear.  We must explain the importance of baptism or they will never obey. We must use our hands, our feet, our mouths, our love or God's work won't be done.

I must have Jesus. On my own, I am not anything. But God can take my work and do something extraordinary when I give myself to Him. Not just give my work, but give myself. He wants me. He wants you. 

The last part of those verses says that "every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labor."  I'm not going to be rewarded for the results. I can't "make" results; that's God's job. I'm going to be rewarded for my work. Did I obey? Did I do my part that God gave me? 

It's a miracle really. A miracle that God can take common ordinary things like dirt and water and make something grow- beautiful flowers, nutritious food.  And it's a miracle that God can take common actions- going, talking, teaching- and use them to win hearts for His kingdom. 

Everybody Gives Up Something

My husband works hard at his job. He works hard at church. And you know what he does with his free time? He spends it with his wife and children. 

Micah's metabolic doctor works long, stressful hours at his job. I know. He's called us when he was on vacation to check on Micah when he was sick. 

Everybody gives up something to do what they do. Everybody. And I'm getting a little tired of this "poor mom" mentality that permeates our society. I find myself guilty of it too. All the moaning, "oh, I can't. I have to stay home with the kids. Spend that money on the kids. Sacrifice my dreams for the kids." So what's a person to do? Go to the Bible, of course. 

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Philippians 4:11-12

I've always looked at these verses in the light of material possessions or money. But what if I look at them as speaking to my actual state in life. That's what it says after all. It doesn't say "for I have learned, with however much money I have, therewith to be content."

State: Condition; the circumstances of a being or thing at any given time. These circumstances may be internal, constitutional or peculiar to the being, or they may have relation to other beings. (Websters 1828 Dictionary) 

So our state is our circumstances, internal or external. This is marital status, physical location, education, burdens, opportunities, stresses, height, employment, etc.  Every state has its positives and negatives but our response is supposed to be contentment. 

First a few notes about contentment. 
-Content- "Literally, held, contained within limits; hence, quiet; not disturbed; having a mind at peace; easy; satisfied, so as not to repine, object, or oppose." (Webster's 1828)
A. Contentment is learned. (See above verses.) It goes against the natural man to be content. We are not born this way. 
B. Contentment brings good to our lives. 1 Timothy 6:6 states: "But godliness with contentment is great gain." 
C. Contentment alone is not enough. We could be very content to be living in our sin. That's why we need godliness as well. 
D. Contentment is based on very little. 1 Timothy 6:8 says, "And having food and raiment let us therewith be content."  Food and clothes. That's all. 

Maybe we have to be hungry in some areas to appreciate fullness later. Hungry for friendship, hungry for quiet, hungry for God, hungry for growth. 

Maybe we have to be content with fullness. Maybe we are abounding with money, opportunities, free time. But Paul said he had to learn to be content even in fullness. Fullness does not equal contentment. 

Being a mom means I have said "no" to many things: alone time, uninterrupted sleep, freedom of schedule. Motherhood means I skip activities and opportunities for naptime and putting babies in bed, for runny noses and fevers. I may lay aside abilities and skills for a season to train and teach these little ones.

Motherhood also means I am full of other things: laundry and dishes, dirty diapers and discipline. I am abounding in hugs and little boys smiles, Dr. Suess and playing with fall leaves. 

Everybody gives up something to do what they do. Every "yes" means many "no's." We are limited beings. We are limited by time, ability, health. Even if we feel we have not chosen our yes's and no's, God has. We aren't here to chase our dreams; we are here to fulfill God's purposes. 

Everybody gives up something to do what they do. It's not just moms that lay aside themselves. And let's please remember that the next time we want to complain about our difficulties. Many would love to be in our shoes in exchange for small arms hugging their necks at bedtime. Let's not have a "poor mom" mentality like we are slaves to the universe and nobody has it as tough as we do. I know people who work almost around the clock working a job and going to school. People who are spending their time caring for elderly parents. Friends who work on the mission field far from family and friends with few physical comforts. 

Do you find yourself lacking contentment? Are you holding onto your dreams or desires instead of surrendering to what God has for you? Are you choosing the eternal or the temporal? A lack of contentment will steal your joy. It will rob you of the blessings of this season of life. And when you get what you want- you will be no happier. 

This season of mothering will pass. Some of the "no's" will go away but so will many rich blessings. Let's please not pity ourselves for the many blessings that God has bestowed on us. Instead let's practice contentment in whatever state- fullness, abasement, or neediness- we find ourselves. 

God's Will- Today

The surest method of aiming at a knowledge of God's eternal purposes about us is to be found in the right use of the present moment. Each hour comes with some little fagot of God's will fastened upon its back. We have nothing to do, therefore, with anything save the privilege and duty of one hour now passing. This makes the problem of living very simple.  We need not look at our life as a whole, nor even carry the burden of a single year; if we but grasp well the meaning of the one little fragment of time immediately present, and do instantly all the duty and take all the privilege that the one hour brings, we shall thus do that which shall best please God and build up our own life into completeness. It ought never to be hard for us to do this. Living thus we shall make each hour radiant with the radiancy of duty well done, and radiant hours will make radiant years. But the missing of privileges and the neglecting of duties will leave days and years marred and blemished and make life at last like a moth-eaten garment. We must catch the sacred meaning of our opportunities if we would live up to our best.  J.R. Miller, Making the Most of Life (emphasis mine)

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God's will was another one of those things that confused me in high school. (I was apparently very confused then.) To high-school-me God's will was a complicated plan that involved very detail of my life for the next seventy years. But it didn't start until about ten years down the road. I never grasped that there was a God's will for me that day. That hour.

But I'm starting to realize that. God's will is made up of my todays. People who have done great things for Christ were able to do them because they lived the everyday in God's will for them. Only by obeying today can I be useful tomorrow. My dream of a legacy of a lifetime serving God is only possible if I serve God with my hours now.

It matters to God what I am doing right now- with this hour. Every hour. What am I supposed to be doing right now? It doesn't matter if what I'm doing isn't a sin. Is it what I'm supposed to be doing now? I am perfectly willing to serve God on Sundays when it's noticed and  maybe even applauded, but what about on Wednesday mornings when no one is impressed? What about at two in the morning when no one else is up to notice? What about when it means washing dishes and changing diapers and reading rhyming books?

There are 1,440 minutes every day. That's all. Am I spending them doing God's will?

Jesus' Words and My Life

Last year our Pastor challenged us to read through the Gospels over and over while we were studying discipleship. We're finished studying discipleship but I'm still cycling through them because what's better than studying what Jesus did? 

I've been searching lately to add to and remove from my words. I want my speech to bring honor and glory to God (Pro. 31:26) and speech can be such a powerful weapon for good or bad. 

So when I found four references in one chapter of Luke on what kinds of words Jesus spoke I sat up (figuratively speaking) and paid attention. 

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1. Jesus spoke gracious words.  Luke 4:22 (Gracious is one of my "code" words for God's lady so I was really excited to see this describing the words that Jesus spoke.) Gracious= favorable, kind, excellent

I should be gracious to my children when I talk to them. Even instruction and correction can be (and should be) given graciously. I should be gracious to my husband. Why do we so often forget that these "rules" apply to those we love the most? I should be gracious to everyone who comes into contact with me whether at the grocery store, the doctor's office or the library. 

Are my words really excellent? Do I use a lot of slang? Am I sloppy and careless in what I say about others? Do I say mean things to be funny? 

How would others characterize my speech? What about when people are irritating me or my children are misbehaving or I'm tired? My speech should be gracious in each occasion. 

2. Jesus spoke powerful words. Luke 4:32 I need the Holy Spirit's power in my words. I can speak words of life to my children as we go throughout our day and as I correct them but only God can use those words to move their hearts. When I give out the Gospel my words are only powerful through the filling of the Holy Spirit.  Only God can show Himself through simple language. God can use words of encouragement in a powerful way in someone's life but only He can do that! 

Do I pray about my speech? Do I ask God to use my voice to speak for Him? God chose to use human voices to tell others about Him and I *think* He's willing to help us. 

3. Jesus spoke rebuking words.  Luke 4:35 The only people under my circle of judgement are my children. I rarely rebuke anyone else (with some exceptions like kids at church if I'm the adult around; if I were in charge of something, etc, etc.). But it is essential that some of my words are rebuking words. My children are sinners. My words should reveal their sin to them and point them to God. I must confront them with God's truth.  

Am I consistently confronting my children with their sin? Not just to change their own behavior but to show them that they need Jesus? If I don't rebuke the sin in their lives then they will think it's ok. Rebuke is essential in their shaping. 

4. Jesus spoke preaching words. Luke 4:44 No, I'm not a preacher. But what about proclaiming the truth? That's what preaching does, right? I am to proclaim the truth to my children. I need to teach them what the Bible says and how it applies to them. I am to proclaim truth to my husband. We discuss life. He asks my opinion. My words influence him. I want them to proclaim truth. 

Do I carelessly comment on other people's methods, my children, or parts of my life in ways that make God look bad? If my opinion or what I'm saying doesn't match up with the Bible, then I shouldn't be saying it! What about when I whine about how hard I work? Am I proclaiming the truth that children are a blessing and His grace is sufficient? No, I am saying that God's ways don't work.

Jesus really is our example. I'm seeing that over and over and over as I reread the Gospels. His life is a motivating- and challenging- example to follow. 

Mornings: Refocus

I used to think my problem was only that I wasn't a morning person. I would love to get up about ten in the morning and not go to bed until around two. There are very few careers that actually works with and homemaking/mothering is certainly not one of them. (Unless, of course, you don't teach your children to go to bed or you let them run around on their own for hours, but I digress.) Regardless of how focused I am on my priorities at the end of the day I lose it during the night. My first mornings thoughts aren't God's plan for my life or how I can best honor Him. 

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The real problem is that I'm a sinner. My flesh is inclined to do what it wants to instead of what God wants. The most important thing for me to do each morning is to lose myself in Jesus. 

That's why my first morning point is "Refocus." Focus (again!) on what God says about life. I need remind myself of God's plan.  I have to fight my flesh every day. You do too.  None of us are exempt from the pull of the flesh and I have to fight it first thing before it takes a deep hold on my day. 

Now if I were to wake up and immediately start reading most days I would immediately be sleeping again. That would defeat the purpose. So I go fix my hair and put on some makeup first. That gives me enough time to wake up and even pray some. Then I come back to my Bible. 

I need to soak in God's will for me. Learn more about Him. Learn more about who He wants me to be. 

I want to have a real relationship with God, therefore I need to spend time with Him. I've been working on talking to Jesus constantly through my day but I need this concentrated time in the morning where I can absorb His Word and not be distracted by the commotion of life. 

Refocusing Helps

1. Have a reading plan. Doesn't matter what it is; just have one. Go through the whole Bible; we need to be learning it all. Don't just flip it open and read anywhere for your everyday Bible reading. 

You've all heard the old joke about  a man who was searching for God's will for his life. So he decided to use the proven method of flipping open his Bible and putting his finger on a phrase or verse. 

The first one he found was Matt. 27:5" And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself."

He didn't like that answer so he tried again and got "Then said Jesus unto him, Go and do thou likewise." (Luke 10:37b) 

He decided to give it one more try and found, "Then said Jesus unto him, That thou doest, do quickly." (John 13:27b) 

God's will in black and white, people! 

Hahahahahahahaha

Hahaha

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Ok, I won't tell jokes in my posts anymore. But I think you get the point.

2. Ask God to speak to your heart. Reading words isn't enough. The Bible is a book beyond our understanding and  yet God can reveal the truth at each person's level. 

Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart.  Psalm 119:27

I am thy servant; give me understanding, that I may know thy testimonies. Psalm 119:125

3. Know the "Why." I'm coming back to this over and over in life. Why am I getting up early(ish)? Why am I disciplining my children? Why am I reading my Bible? 

-Write down why it's important for you to read your Bible every day. 

-Keep a list of things you are learning. 

-Memorize Scripture about the benefits of being in the Bible. (See Joshua 1:8 and Psalm 1:2-3 for starters.)

4. Just do it. Don't wait for it to be easy or comfortable. Don't wait until you "have time." Step out in obedience and watch God work in your life. 

Before I face my day and it's challenges, I need to be filled up with Jesus and that means emptied of me. So the first thing I do in the morning is refocus.  I need to see Jesus and line myself up with His Word. 

Worshiping in Obedience

Yesterday in Sunday School our Pastor presented a lesson on King Saul. King Saul was handpicked by God to rule His people and still ended in disgrace. That's what everyone remembers about Saul: his end. That''s what people will remember about me as well. 

Saul's disobedience was his problem. He decided that he knew better than God. I got several thoughts during the lesson. 

1. It is of the utmost importance that I teach my children to obey. Regardless of any excuses. I teach our children to obey so that they understand what God wants of them once they are grown. I am His representative in their lives. I am teaching them to please God when I teach them to obey. 

2. It is of the utmost importance that I obey. Regardless of any excuses. 

But the next one was the big one. 

3. Obedience is worship. 

Saul disobeyed under the guide of worshiping God (1 Samuel 15). The first time the word "worship" is used it's in talking about Abraham sacrificing Isaac. It's used about obedience, not waving hands in the air or feeling good. 

I think the tendency is to "spiritualize" worship. It's an emotion or an experience instead of an action. We have "worship" services and sing songs about worship. We rarely sing songs about obedience and dying to self. But God wants us to obey more than anything. And obeying normally takes dying to self. 

Do I want to obey more than anything? 
Will I obey when I want to rest? 
Will I obey when I want to please myself? 
Will I  obey when it's not something I like? 
Will I obey when I want to get my own way? 
Will I obey when it's unpopular? 
Will I obey when it makes me uncomfortable? 

"Will I obey?" is the question. Yes, the desire to obey is wonderful but it's not always going to be there. Will I obey regardless of any excuses- including how I feel at that particular moment? My feelings do not have to be in charge of my life. They are a harsh master. 

Today, my work can be worship. I can move in obedience to God through my Monday and Tuesday and my whole week. I don't have to feel bad that I'm changing diapers and cooking lunch instead of sitting in peace "worshiping." In my obedience to the tasks God has given me I am worshiping Him. 

Being Different

To be different, I have to do differently. 

It's my desire to be different from the world. I want them to wonder why I'm different (and I don't mean weird just to be weird either). If I am absorbing and living by the Bible I will be different. My attitude will be different. Our marriage will be different. My child-rearing will be different. Our home will be different. You get the idea. It works the other way as well. There are so many ideas that the world offers that are just different to me. 

Here's the problem. I have to actually do things differently to be different. I have to have a different attitude. I have to live by the Bible. In almost all areas I have to do everything differently than the majority of the world does things. 

-I should love and and submit to my husband instead of talking bad about him or treating him like one of the children. 
-I should teach and train my children instead of sitting them in front of the tv or fitting them into my life when it's convenient. (And yes, we do watch some tv.) 
-I should be gracious, not sarcastic or crude. 
-I should be modest and ladylike instead of all the alternatives that are there. 

Here's the bigger problem. I don't like to be different. I don't want to stand out  in what appears weird to others. I don't want people to look at me funny and say, "What's with her?" It's uncomfortable to do things differently because people definitely ask about it. I do believe that's the point however. The Bible tells us to have an answer (1 Pet. 3:15) so I need to think of ways to answer these (often rude) questions graciously in a way that reflects Christ. 

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So what's the solution? I fix my eyes on Christ. I seek to win Christ. I press toward the mark. I forget everything else- often by consciously putting those thoughts aside-and look unto Jesus. (Phil. 3, Heb. 12:2) 

Being different means I don't bow to peer pressure and conform to the world. It means I don't worry about what someone else is doing. It means I don't wonder about what someone else thinks of me. It means I measure my life and how I "do" things by the Bible instead of what's socially acceptable. 

Keep those eyes on Christ! 

And how do you answer questions about your "differences" graciously? 

What's Real and What's Ideal

I tend to get these pictures in my head of what I want life to look like. Right now my big one has been that I want to drink something hot out of a mug while I read my Bible in the morning. 

Now since I don't drink coffee or tea this seems like a stretch. Maybe hot chocolate? 

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And I would prefer to do this hot-drink-in-a-mug-drinking and Bible reading on my back porch while watching the sun rise.

I hate mornings. Did I mention that? Although I do wake up consistently early enough to see them. 

Let's not forget that my back porch has no furniture besides an old kitchen table and is covered in balls, shoes, and various toys that I try to keep semi-organized.

And have you looked at the price of wicker couches (which is what I would love to have out there)? That'll wake you up. Forget needing a hot, caffeinated drink. 

It's a good thing I'm not waiting to read my Bible until I get my dream scenario perfected. There's a good chance it might not happen for years. And that's a lot of days that I need my time with Jesus.  So what does my Bible reading look like? I've already fixed my hair and makeup (because I hate doing that and the later it gets the worse it seems.....and I like to look pretty before Justin leaves!) and I'm sitting on the bed in semi darkness reading on my iPad and drinking water. (Where changes frequently for me; that's not the important part. Just note it looks nothing like my perfect picture.)

And occasionally I'm also eating some chocolate. We're all for chocolate around here. 

It's good to have ideals to work toward. To have a vision to guide in making decisions and setting priorities. But life is not perfect pictures. Life falls short of our expectations. Life disappoints.  Days run short on hours to do it all. 

So decide what's important. 

It's important that I read my Bible. It doesn't matter where I read my Bible. It doesn't matter what I drink while I read my Bible. The Word is the Word regardless of those extras. 

It's important that I make my husband a priority.  It doesn't matter if our dates are movies and desserts on Friday instead of fancy dinners out right now. 

It's important that I teach and train my children. It doesn't matter if we complete Pinterest-worthy craft projects. (Good thing too- because we don't!)

Are there important things you are waiting to do until they are "perfect"? Don't wait on perfect; it never comes. Grab hold of your values and work them out in your daily life regardless of the extras that you may or may not attain.  On my 80th birthday it will be very obvious that I've spent time in the Bible (1 Timothy 4:15) and I'll be glad about that.

I probably won't even remember that at one time I wanted to read my Bible with my hot drink on a wicker couch on my back porch. 

Parenting Makes Me the Student

We took Micah to his genetics checkup in Cincinnati yesterday. His doctor always orders labwork to check his amino acid levels and that's not Micah's idea of fun. I told him that I would not let them do that unless it were necessary to keep him healthy and that I was sorry that it hurt.  But as much as he hates it and I hate to see him cry, I don't ever stop them from drawing his blood. Why? 

Because I love him. Because I know that they need to check his leucine levels so we can make adjustments to keep him healthy. Because that's the only way we can take good care of his health. 

I can see the bigger picture. He sees the immediate: his brief pain, his fear. 

So often when things happen in life that I don't like I act just like my three-year-old. I react in panic thinking there must be some mistake instead of remembering that God loves me. God loves me much more than I can ever love Micah and I can rest in His love.  

He loves me. He's making the adjustments in my life to keep me healthy spiritually. He can see the future goal while I see the disappointments. He sees the purpose; I see the pain. 

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.  2 Corinthians 4:17

God is continually at work in my life because He loves me.  Psalm 138:8 states, "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me:" Philippians 1:6 reminds me, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." 

Micah runs to me after they draw his blood. He is calmed by my assurances of love for him and remembers how we always take care of him. I can run to God in my problems and be reassured by His promise of love toward me and remember what He has done for me in the past.  Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

Micah should mature and handle the labwork better even though it will never be something he looks forward to. I should also mature spiritually and rest in God's sovereignty and love even though I don't long for problems. God is allowing it because He loves me. Just like we let them draw Micah's blood because we love him. 

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side; 

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; 

Leave to thy God to order and provide; 

In every change He faithful will remain. 

Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

"Be Still, My Soul" by Catharine von Schlegel

Tune My Heart, Turn My Hands

Mondays are our big housekeeping days. We clean the whole house, we do laundry, and we try to do most of our normal things as well. And by normal I mean reading to the boys, playing outside, quiet time, piano practice, and eating. Eating's pretty much non-negotiable. 

I don't dread Mondays but there is a lot to do. So what helps me? The right attitude of course. My main priority is training my children not cleaning the house. I will gladly leave some of the work for Tuesday in order to concentrate on what's really important. So what helps me have the right attitude when I'm training and cleaning? 

So will I sing praise unto thy name forever, that I may daily perform my vows.  Psalm 61:8

I praise God. I thank God for my day and praise Him for His goodness while I'm cleaning toilets and instructing Micah. While I change diapers, wipe little hands, and change out the laundry, I can be thankful for disposable diapers (props to you people who use cloth!), babies in my house, and a washer and dryer!

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Praising God- recognizing Who He is and what He's done for me- gives me the strength and motivation to do my work.  God wants my heart and my hands every day. He wants my heart tuned to Him. I need to be sensitive to His direction for my day and let Him live through me. And then I need to turn my hands to the work He has given me for the day. 

Tune my heart. 
Turn my hands.  
And in that order. 

And I am to perform this work. Make it beautiful. Pursue excellence. Recognize the value of my work just like any artist's work.  Homemaking, mothering, being a wife- it's anything but boring.

This life that I've given to God is my vow. It's unquestionable, just like our marriage vow is supposed to be. It's not a question of whether or not I feel like it in the morning. God demands my everything. 

So I'm going forth today with praise. Knowing Who God and reminding myself of Him encourages me to continue.

How Do I Obey?

The boys and I are reading through the Gospels and Psalms at breakfast and I was stopped in my tracks yesterday. Or stopped in my reading.  Here's what I read. 

I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies. I made haste, and delayed not to keep thy commandments. Psalm 119:59-60

How much thought do I really put into my life? I remember our Pastor preaching about this one time. There are Bible verses about considering my paths. It makes sense to consider what I am doing. But what's my purpose in this consideration? This verse tells me what my purpose is supposed to be: I am supposed to be aligning my life with the Bible. 

I need to evaluate my life by the Bible and change what doesn't match. Constantly consider if I am following or violating Biblical principles. Turning takes effort. It might not be easy- probably won't be easy- to change because I am going against the flesh. But I am to turn my feet. God isn't just going to zap me from heaven and change me into a Bible-living Christian. I have to turn myself when God reveals a digression from His Word. 

There are endless "ways" to contemplate and compare to the Bible. My speech. My mothering. My marriage. My priorities. My love. You get the idea; I will never arrive. I can apply this verse every single day. 

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How quick am I to obey the Bible? Micah and I have been continuing to work on obeying "right away." It's a habit I want to form early in his life so that when he grows up (hopefully- he has to make his own choices) he will obey God right away. Nothing good comes from delaying obedience and frequently bad things come from disobedience. (Delayed obedience is disobedience.) 

But what about me? How do I obey? When God reveals something to me, whether in Bible reading, personal rebuke from a mentor,  or the preaching, how quickly to I obey? Do I make excuses for why I don't have to obey right then? I need to form a habit in myself of immediately doing what God tells me. Nothing spooky here- what He tells me in His Word. There's more than enough there to last me a lifetime without adding weird stuff. God will bless my habit of obedience. 

This was not in my personal reading yesterday but it stuck with me all day long. Writing about it helps cement the idea in my heart and mind so that it is more likely to become part of me.  I've commented to Justin before that I learn far more than my children in their training and instruction. And let me tell you, I really need it. 

Growth in Discomfort

When I pray for God to make me more what He would have me to be I'm often picturing some miraculous zapping of my heart that occurs while life is going just the way I would like. Comfortable. Easy. Expected. 

That's not really how it works. See, we have to be faced with discomfort to grow. We have to be pushed, stretched, bent to change. If life is all roses then I don't have to practice being longsuffering. I don't have to take a stand against wrong. I don't have to choose my priorities and base my decisions on them. I don't have to count on God to come through.  I can just coast. 

And coasting is not growing. 

Growing is dying. Pushing through dirt. Enduring the hot sun. Suffering though downpours. Being pushed around by weeds.  And then you get  to be something useful. Or beautiful. I'd prefer to be useful and beautiful. 

-I grow as a mother when I choke back irritation and show the toddler how to do it correctly again. 

-I grow as a mother when I get up cheerfully (or at least without sighing and rolling my eyes) to care for a needy little one when I wanted to rest. 

-I grow as a wife when I deny myself again to help my husband. When I smile and ask what I can do to help him when I want to complain.  

-I grow as a pianist when I work and work over a passage or technique that is uncomfortable or unfamiliar. 

-I grow as a pianist when I play in front of people and *eek* mess up again. 

-I grow as a lady when I practice being gracious and bite back sarcasm. When I reach out to that person I would rather avoid. 

-I grow in discipline when I chose to get out of bed instead of keep sleeping. When I chose to workout instead of sit on the couch. When I stop looking at Pinterest and change the laundry. 

It would be much more comfortable to go with the flow. To sleep in all the time. To do what everyone else is doing. To give in to pressure. To stop when things are hard. 

But I would stop growing. 

Growing is uncomfortable. But I want to grow. At the end of the year, month, week, day I want to be farther along this path of being God's lady. I don't want to be the exact same person I am today. 

So I should not be surprised when God gives me (uncomfortable) opportunities to practice what He's teaching me. He's helping me grow.


photo credit: zirconicusso/freedigitalphotos.net

What Do You Want To Be Known For?

I have an overactive imagination.It sometimes causes me problems but other times it's very helpful! (I stopped watching crime shows when I was pregnant with Micah and that helped my nighttime jitters a lot!) But my imagination allows  me to picture scenes in life that haven't really happened. Sometimes I think about what I want my funeral to look like. It reminds me of that scene in The Jungle Book when they think Baloo has died and Bagheera says all those nice things about him!  What are people going to say about me? Obviously I'm not trying to live for what others think but my life does speak to others and I want it to say the right things.

Our preacher read a story in church from one of our missionary letters and in it the lady mentioned that it was much easier for her family to serve God now that her husband had died! And after hearing the rest of the story I believed it. What a sad testimony for a life!  That's not what I want to be said about me after I'm dead!

Maybe you have grandiose ideas of how you are going to be and who your family and loved ones will remember but that's not reality. They are going to remember today. They are going to remember yesterday. Who are you in those moments? Every day you are becoming the person you will be when you're old. 

When I think about the legacy I want to leave there are a lot of things that don't matter. I don't care if my kids remember how smart I was. Or how hard I tried to be pretty. Or how other people admired me. I don't care if they think I was a good piano player. I don't even care if they think I kept a really clean house!  If those aren't the things I want them to remember they should not be my first focus. 

There are some things I want others to know and remember about me. These are the things I want to focus on in my life. 

• I want them to know that I loved Jesus. Am I loving Jesus today? Do they see that love lived out in me? It's not enough to say that I love Jesus. I want them to see Jesus' love through me. 
• I want them to know that I loved my husband. I want my life to be a testament of my faithfulness and love to him and his vision for our family. That is manifested in our day-to-day moments not in a couple of "big" memories. How do I greet him when he comes home? How do I answer his questions? How do I respond to his suggestions? How do I talk about him to others? 
• I want them to know that I loved my children.  God is letting me raise His precious children. I want them to know that I loved and cherished and took seriously my opportunity to be a mother. I want them to look back at what I taught them and know that it was all to point them to Jesus. 
• I want them to know that Jesus can transform their life. I'm nothing special. There's nothing good in me. But Jesus can take anything and make it something He can use. I don't want them to see those first three things and think that I'm anything important. I want them to see those first three things and know that I couldn't have lived that faithfully my whole life on my own. I needed Jesus. They need Jesus. 

It's easy to see from looking at this that I want to be remembered for love. Not my love but God's love coming through me. My love is impatient, expectant, selfish, demanding. God's love is kind, longsuffering, humble. (1 Cor. 13:4-7) What am I doing today to show this love so that it will be what's remembered about my life? 

Knowing what I want to be remembered for will help me prioritize and make decisions. It will help me bite back angry words. It will help me discipline my children (Pro. 13:24). It will help me look over trangressions against me. It will help me choose not only the right words but also the right tone to say them in. 

As the Veggie Tales song says, "Our lives are better because (s)he loves us." I hope that's the truth for those who know me. Maybe I'll ask my husband to write it on my tombstone.  It certainly sounds better than "She lived her whole life for herself." 

Winning Husbands

Sometime this spring I did a Bible study in 1 Peter. I love the practicality of Peter's writing. He was a fisherman, not a scholar like Paul, and I love how God designs and uses different kinds of people. He doesn't want us to be the same! But I digress. That's not my point for this post. 

In chapter three (which contains a lot of controversial stuff for our generation) Peter tells us that wives can live in such a way that they could win an unsaved husband to Jesus. We must have a profound influence on our husbands for that to be true! I also think there are great marriage principles in here for wives with Christian husbands as well! 

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;  1 Peter 3:1

1. First we see how they aren't won. They aren't won with words. Women have a lot of words and we can use them like weapons. But it never works.  A husband isn't won by lecturing or scolding. Not by being preached at or obnoxiously prayed over aloud. 

• No nagging. Let him be him. 
• No mothering. My husband already has a wonderful mom; he doesn't need me to try to be one. Let him be a man. 
• No sermons. No lectures on how he could be a better dad. No accusations about how he doesn't do certain things. 
• No criticizing. There are plenty of people in the world ready to criticize my husband. He needs my support. 

The main thing I try to do with my speech is to "shut up for Jesus." So much does NOT need to be said. God didn't design me to be the world's conscience. Or my husband's conscience. (That's not my place. I can save myself a lot of mental distress by not obsessing with all the things I see wrong that I either can't change or aren't my place to change. This is one of my general life principles.)

2. But then they are won "by the conversation of the wives." Conversation means lifestyle. How they lived day in and day out. 

-how do they teach the children?
-how do they keep the house?
-how do they manage money?
-what tone of voice do they use?
-how do they handle discouragement?
-how do they manage their time?
-how do they respond to their husband? 

All of these things- and many others-  should show Jesus to others. Not our carnal nature. Not our natural reactions, but Jesus. Does my behavior match up with the Bible? That is the ultimate litmus test. 

This is such a profound verse to me because married people see the best in each other- but most often they see the worst. We reserve our contempt for our husband. We reserve our criticisms, our bad moods, our irritability for our husbands. And sometimes we feel justified in this because "they have to love us." 

I don't know about you but I don't want my husband to "have" to love me! I want to be easy to love. I make to win his heart every day. I want to be crown to him. (Pro. 12:4)

Now I am blessed with an amazing Christian husband! I don't need my lifestyle to win Him to Christ; He already knows Jesus. But I do want to live with my Christianity that genuine. A Christianity so real that the person who knows me best would say that Jesus lives in me. Who we are at home is who we really are. 

Also I don't want to treat my wonderful husband any less well than I would a husband that I needed to win to Jesus. Instead my gratitude toward God for my husband should spur me on to be the best wife I can possible be! 

One last thing- if, by God's grace, we live this kind of Christianity out in front of our husbands, it will also be visible to anyone else who knows us and needs to know Jesus. And isn't that what we want? 

My Road To Selfishness

"I really deserve some time to myself. I just want to go somewhere alone for a while! Do something exciting and fun!"

I've lived with myself a while. Whenever I hear those words running through my brain I know that I am traveling down the road of selfishness. It is not a pleasant road and I am not a pretty person on that road.

photo courtesy of mrpuen/freedigitalphotos.net

When I'm traveling this road I'm not speaking truth to myself. And when I'm not speaking truth to myself it is easy to start believing the lies of the enemy. Lies like, "My husband doesn't care about me." "My kids are in my way." "God's not doing anything in my life right now." These lies can tear apart the fabric of our home. These lies can destroy relationships. These are lies because they are directly contrary to the Bible. And I want to correct myself as quickly as possible when I'm going contrary to the Bible.

Women lived for centuries without this "alone time" that is so popular now. Alone time. Me time. Personal time. Whatever it's called it's really a call to get away from the "menial" work that wives and mothers do and find some excitement. Excitement that leaves me more discontented and unhappy when it's over.

 Ask Susanna Wesley about alone time. She had it. Yes, that Susanna Wesley. I distinctly remember reading (don't ask me where) that she taught her children to play quietly nearby while she prayed under her apron. That's the alone time she needed: time with Jesus. It's the alone time I need as well.

Jesus Himself left his work to spend time with God. It's never recorded that He laid around whining about wanting vacation or Starbucks. And Jesus had many more burdens than I do. When I search for escapes I grow more selfish and more discontent. The flesh is insatiable.

So what do I do when I find myself on this road to selfishness?
1. Confess my sin.  I tell God about my selfishness. He already knows anyway. And then I confess to other people if I'm sinned against them. (Usually my husband or children. Because I'm too fake to act that way to others, right?)

2. Ask for God's grace. Grace has been defined as "the desire and power to do God's will." Sometimes I don't even want to do what God wants. But I do want to want to do what God wants.

3. Commit to God's plan. When I start thinking about how nice it would be to go out to eat for dinner or go on vacation, I banish those thoughts. What does God want me to do? Commit to it mentally. Then get to work physically.

I've been training myself to ask "What does God want me to do right now?" instead of thinking about what I do or don't want to do. Telling myself "no" gets easier the more I do it, is just as hard each time as the first time. But there is satisfaction in knowing that I'm striving to please my Master instead of giving in to myself. There is satisfaction in knowing that I'm creating beautiful memories for my family instead of making an idol of me.

There are times for vacations and Starbucks and yes, even a few hours apart from our home and responsibilities. But those times aren't just any moment when I happen to not want to do what's before me. Instead I need to die to self and serve like Jesus.

The Truth

I think it's time I told you the truth. 

Loosen up. No embarrassing secrets to follow. 

The truth is that you can follow all of these homemaking tips. You can read books that I like. You can set goals and even reach them. You can have a schedule. You can get out of bed early.  You can check off any list of good things that you want and guess what? You can still miss out on the most important thing. 

What is this most important thing? Time with Jesus. I'm contemplating a subtle philosophical change I've experienced in the past month. It's so subtle that I can't really put into words exactly what's changed yet but there has been a change. It's shown up in my behavior in a certain area I've been praying about. It's shown up in my attitude during my days.  And it's not something I did on my own; I can take no credit. This is an area I've tried to improve in and I've managed for a day or two before I give in to mental exhaustion. My own strength isn't enough. So where did this change come from? Reading my Bible and praying. Letting Jesus work in my heart. 

Ever admitted to yourself that you're the problem? That it's not your husband or your kids. It's not your parents or your preacher. It's not your situation in life or your job. It's one of my most used "desperate" pleas in prayer. I know the problem is ME! And when I pray about situations I admit that and then ask God to change me instead of changing what's going on. To change my heart. To change my thoughts. To change my attitude. 

And He can. He does. But it takes time. This doesn't happen overnight; it's an abiding relationship with God day after day. Reading and praying. Then living. Reading and praying. And working. Reading and praying some more. 

So if you can only do one thing forget the goals, the books, the tips, the schedules. Pursue a relationship with God. Read your Bible every single day. Pray. Obey what you read. Our preacher tells us that people never grow past their obedience. When you stop obeying you stop growing right there. 

The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord. Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established. Proverbs 16:1,3

God can change your heart. He can prepare you for your work. He can guide your thoughts. But you have to fill yourself with Him. You can't pour junk in and expect Him to have free course in your life (2 Thessalonians. 3:1).  Transformation- and that's what I'm after- a real change in my heart, not outward conformation to some rules- comes only through renewing our minds (Romans 12:2). What are you putting in your head? What are you thinking? Watching? Hearing?

Spend time with Jesus. Admit you are the problem. Ask Him for help. 

Center Your Day Around Jesus

Yesterday I needed to make a list of things I was thankful for. It was a less than smooth morning and I needed a reminder.  I decided to do it in pictures because that was more fun and so I put this little collage together. 

But then I remembered an important principle I had been studying that helped me even more. I am supposed to center my day around Jesus. Not around what I wish my reality was or what I want my day to look like. Not around naptime or my husband coming home or drinking Dr. Pepper or anything else I might look forward to. Not around checking everything off my list or my perfect vision of home. 

I was frustrated because we got a late start. (I told my husband that I got up 9,000 times the night before with our children although that might have been a slight exaggeration.) As much as I hate mornings I hate getting a late start because then I feel behind from the get-go. I was frustrated because my children weren't living up to my expectations. (And I'm here because they need training and loving, not because they have already learned everything.) I was frustrated with myself. Then I remembered. 

...and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;       Hebrews 12:1b-2a

It's about Jesus. It's not about me or what I want. It's not about my expectations for the day; the race is already set before me. Jesus has mapped out my day. I need to look to Him for strength and grace for my race. It can be a race today because all today needs is today's energy. I don't have to worry about tomorrow. I don't have to worry about getting up and doing this same stuff over time after time.  I just need to be faithful today. 

Our preacher has taught us that patience is "cheerful and hopeful enduring." God's working in me. God's working in my kids. I am not to run impatiently or in frustration. I don't have to finish today. I won't finish until I go home with Jesus. 

I read somewhere that I shouldn't complain about the service God has called me to until I have done as much as Jesus did on the cross. That really stuck with me. I'm not to compare myself to what my husband or my neighbor or anybody else is doing, just what Jesus did.  That means I should never complain. I will never give as much of myself or give up as many of my own desires as Jesus did when He died for me.  

So how can I center my day around Jesus? Here are a few things that help me. 

1. Start your day with Jesus. Read your Bible and pray. Ask God for His help. 

2. Know what's most important. We've recently narrowed our parenting goals down to two concepts. (Another post for that story.) Can you pinpoint exactly what you are supposed to be doing right now? Knowing that takes some of the pressure off. All the little things just aren't that important. 

3. Release control. This is a mental effort. Actually all of these are. So many of the battles in our lives are mental. That's why we are to bring "into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." (2 Cor. 10:5) This is Jesus' day. His plans matter, not yours. Give it to Him.

4. Give yourself grace. A lot of times the things that stress me out are expectations I've imposed on myself. I must read x number of books with Micah to be a good mom. I must complete x amount of work around the house to be a good homemaker. I can't give you a verse for those things and while they are good occasionally I need to throw them all out the window.  God's plans for my day may not involve any of my checklist! 

5. Repeat. I have to constantly remind myself to stay focused on Jesus. That it's about Jesus.  

Jesus can help me to walk through each part of my day with His grace.  Through the expected, the unexpected, the unpleasant, and the exciting. I don't have to wait for some thing to happen for me to have a good day and then be disturbed or upset if it doesn't happen.  Jesus is enough. 

Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. Psalm 16:11 (emphasis mine)