When You Feel Smothered by Your Limits

When I started my art project back in January I planned to dedicate twenty minutes once a week to art. Previously I have said that I didn't have time for art because twenty minutes wasn't time for anything. Instead I did nothing with that twenty minutes (or least not art). Time that's not allocated to something is typically wasted. 

That art project has grown. I'm doing a ten minute sketch most days of the week. And I'm still doing the "big" piece once a week that takes at least an hour and not that twenty minutes I decided I could scrounge up back in January. 

So what changed? 

I learned to embrace limits. Before I fought against them, believing that they were keeping me from doing the work that I wanted to. Now I realize that they enable me to do my best work. 

Limits do the same for you. 

-Limits remind you of what's important. This is all based off your beliefs. What's important to me is that I'm doing life with my family and still pursuing a vibrant version of me. I don't want to neglect what God's given me to do with either my family or other work. Dr. Bob Jones, Sr., used to say that "duties never conflict." God's not going to call me to stay home with my kids and homeschool the one in school and work three part-time jobs and volunteer twenty hours a week. We need to let go of our expectations for ourselves and find God's design for our lives. 

-Limits make you choose. Once you know that's important to you it becomes a lot easier to choose what you are going to do. What you do will change based on seasons of life. Sometimes you have to choose things that aren't your heart's desire. That's ok. There may be an opportunity you want to take but you can't because of the season of life you are in. That's ok too. Seasons of life change; what you can do with your time will change with them. Saying no now doesn't mean saying no forever. Opportunities that God wants you to take will come around again. 

You also have to choose based on what you are gifted in or called to. I didn't spend that twenty minutes a week learning to rewire electrical outlets. That would be a valuable skill but I only understand how electricity works on a surface level. I could tell you but it doesn't really make sense to me. Not everything that's available is for you. 

-Limits enhance your focus. Once you know what you are doing, you can focus on those things. I don't spend my art time wondering if I should be cleaning my house. I don't spend my writing or blogging time wondering if I should be doing kindergarten with my oldest. I don't spend the time that I have with my family wondering if I should be blogging. Find what God wants you to do and then do that. (Of course we question those things in an effort to stay where God wants us but it doesn't have to linger in the back of our minds every minutes of every day.) 

-Limits give you a time to work. I know the time I have to write and draw and work on this blog. If I don't do it then, it doesn't happen. That's powerful motivation to do the work when I'd rather not; often the couch seems more appealing. Find small pockets of time every single day and work on the passions God has given you. Work furiously within those bounds and see what happens. It's easier to not try than face the fear of failure but then you'll never accomplish anything. 

-Limits prevent comparison. When you know your limits you only have to focus on your work. There's no need to look at your friend, your co-worker, or your sister and wish you were doing her work. Or worse think you should be doing your work and her work too. Pull yourself back into your own lane and live there.

I've reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (mixed reviews: definitely a worthwhile read for me, not a complete recommendation). She tells a story about Herman Melville writing a friend (Nathaniel Hawthorne!) about desiring large amounts of time to write his book: time freed from responsibilities and stresses where he could focus completely on his creative process. He never got that time but he still wrote Moby Dick. 

Because I can't not say it, let's quit with the "motherhood martyrdom." That's the "everything I want to do would be easier if I did something besides mother." That's not true. I know it would not be easier for me to blog if I had a full-time job instead of or in addition to my three children. You find the time for the things you want to do. It takes some discipline. Excuses are a way to rationalize our lack of self-discipline. 

You can't do it all, but you can do something. Your limits will help you decide what your "something" is. 

When You're "Just" at Home

Unfortunately I don't wake up with an eternal focus. I wake up wanting to go back to bed. So I try to start my day off with Jesus- reading my Bible, praying, trying to refocus my heart and mind into the framework of how He views life. I want my days to matter for eternity and I try to pray, "Lord, use me!" every morning. 

One morning I prayed that and immediately thought, "I'm not going anywhere today so I guess He can't."

Did you catch what I said? "I'm not leaving the house so God can't use me." God can't use me inside these four walls with this family. That's what I thought to myself and sometimes that's even what I believe. 

Maybe you've thought it to. You've thought that real life, real ministry, real purpose was found somewhere beyond the walls of your home and the (relatively) few humans that live there. (Although there are times when it feels like they've tripled in number, right? Don't leave me hanging here, mamas.)

One of David's prayers was that he would "walk within his house with a perfect heart." Ps. 101:2 states his desire to live a life that honors God and it starts at home. Who we are at home is who we are; we can't hide there. The ugly comes out because it's where we are tested beyond any other situation. 

Home is a place where God can use us.  1 Timothy 4:10 gives us a list of accomplishments of the godly older woman. "Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work." 

I don't believe all of that took place at home and it won't in our lives either. But surely some of it did. She brought up those children at home. For one thing, it's much simpler to do some of that work (potty-training, anyone?) at home. Necessity also demands it. Little ones need to eat, sleep, and play in a familiar, safe environment. Home is best for most of that. 

Lodging strangers took place at home. I don't think putting them up in someone else's house would count. "I'd love to serve you. Please rest over here at my neighbor's where they can care for you." At the very least it would involve an exchange of money like in the case of the Good Samaritan. She was out something for this service.

Washing the saints' feet was an act of service. There were no paved roads and cars in Bible times. It was dirty roads and probably sandals. It was a blessing to enter a home and be able to wash that dirt off your feet before you ate and rested. It makes me think of the countless times we wash little hands and give baths. Relieving the afflicted could be as simple of wiping your child's head with a cool cloth during a fever. It could be an encouraging word when your husband is discouraged. 

Every good work. Civilization used to be much more home centered. The work was focused at home with a knowledge that the work mattered. There was no social media with likes and shares and follows. There weren't airplanes that carried people around the world to speak to crowds. There weren't high-rise buildings with corner offices and raises to earn. 

Life was consumed simply in surviving. Food for this meal followed by some clean laundry and then more food preparation. They didn't buy already diced veggies from the produce section of Fresh Market. (I don't either, come to think of it.) Feeding people was a huge work that took most of the day. It exhausts me to simply think about the amount of work that they had to do to just exist. And then these godly older women served others too. Not just their own families but these others- strangers, saints, the afflicted, children (it doesn't say her own). 

She was a woman that gave of herself sacrificially to serve others. She worked hard to provide what others needed. She served invisibly- in hard work, manual labor, demeaning tasks. 

God can use me, even if it's "just" at home. Every day that I spend with my children I am shaping them. I am telling them of their value. What do they hear if I say they aren't part of my real work but simply a distraction from anything that matters? What message do we pass on to our daughters about motherhood if we chafe against the confines of raising small children? And it is confining. There are things that I would love to do that I simply cannot do while I am raising my babies. But I choose this now because it's time for it; there are seasons of life. Those other things will still be there in five or ten years and my children will not be little. 

Of course God can use us other places. And He does- even if we are mostly at home with small children. I'm not talking about that because few people dispute that. It is hard to remember that God is using us when we are doing life with littles, changing diapers, teaching letters, and tying shoes. 

"Lord, use me!" is still my heart's cry.  I'm almost to the place that I believe it's possible- even if I'm "just" at home. 

How I Stay Inspired

With small kids, everything happens at once. Sometimes when I start cooking lunch I spend twenty minutes alternating between fishing some scrap of paper out of the baby's mouth, taking a child to the potty, correcting another child, changing a diaper, getting someone a drink, and moving the baby away from whatever "dangerous" spot he's found. And all I've done for lunch is turn on the stove. 

It's easy to feel overwhelmed in a house full of small children no matter how much you love them. As my children get older and I've been mothering longer (funny how those two go together) I'm learning ways to stay filled up instead of just pouring out all day. 

I know this is a touchy topic. Should moms pursue "me time"? Do we spend every minute in service to our family and think we can do it happily because we love them and love Jesus? Moms are still women first. It's hard to nurture anyone else when you are running on empty.

Of course there's a caution in this. When I want to run away and escape I have a problem. No rest will be enough, no vacation will cheer me up if I want to be released from the responsibilities that God has given me. 

Carolyn Mahaney said that the point of rest was to strengthen ourselves for service. And the point of this recharging is to better steward the talents and opportunities God has placed before us- whether it's motherhood or some other work. 

So how do I recharge or fill back up? 

1. Spend time in the Word. Read it. Soak it up. Let God speak to your heart. This is what I need more than anything. 

2. Read good books. I'm always reading books about marriage, mothering, homemaking, writing, creativity, and sometimes even business. I need that spark of ideas and the reminder of why I do what I do. 

3. Write. Even if it's not for public eye writing helps me understand my beliefs. Writing about my thoughts helps organize them and captures a fleeting picture of life. 

4. Have real conversations. Real conversations preferably aren't interrupted by texts or Twitter and center on more than the weather or the latest trend in scarves. 

5. Do focused work. For me this looks like piano lessons and my art project. Just getting out of the house to wander around Wal-Mart wouldn't be as helpful. 

Tomorrow on the Uniquely Woman podcast I'm interviewing Tori Gillit and we discuss inspiration and social media and how she stays inspired. Be sure to download the episode and leave us a rating and review once you listen! 

What do you do to recharge? How do you stay filled up in the midst of your responsibilities? What are your thoughts on motherhood and womanhood and managing both?

Embracing Discomfort

I've been introducing myself to strangers lately. It's not something I really enjoy and even the fact that we have mutual acquaintances and purpose to the meetings doesn't really help. But I have learned to do it without choking, physically at least.  

God has intentionally been sticking these opportunities in front of me- opportunities that I really want to take- so that I have to step up when I'd rather not. I'd rather not make a phone call. I'd rather not show up when I don't recognize any faces. I'd rather not offer my skills when I'm afraid I'll be laughed at. But I've been doing it anyway. 

Most of it has come from doing what I'd rather not in everyday life. I'd rather not clean up another accident, draft that email, get out of bed. But I do because God tells me to. The little work has been training in obedience for when the harder things arrive. As I learn to obey today I'm preparing myself for what's down the road. Even if I clean up cheerios three times today I know that I can do it again tomorrow. And then I learn to do it with a smile, teaching the boys how to help me with a good attitude. Hard things becomes habits and I find they don't take the mental effort that they used to. Then I can tackle another hard thing. 

Sometimes it goes really well with strangers and with the obedience. We hit it off; I find a place to assist with the work; I clean up the spill without losing my temper. Sometimes I'm left relieved that I did what I was supposed to and I didn't turn my back on uncomfortable opportunity. "All opportunity is uncomfortable. That's where you have to live life."  It's easy to believe that on those days. 

And other times it's everything I fear it will be. I leave remembering all the things I said that perhaps I shouldn't have or I fall asleep at night wishing I could take back those words or that wasted time. I would rather curl up on the couch with a book instead of writing my own story because I'm very likely to embarrass myself. If I don't do anything I can at least avoid that. 

That's not entirely true. Once I've wasted my life I'll see all the things that I could have done if I had lived in that discomfort. I'll see the people I could have helped, the places I could have served, and realize that all the potential embarrassment in the world shouldn't have been enough to stop me. The point of life isn't to avoid mistakes or humiliation. The purpose of life is to pour myself out serving God and helping others. The purpose is to empty myself every day for the people that God places in my path instead of trying to keep it all in my grasp. 

And yes, sometimes that means I mess up. But I'm going to keep introducing myself. I'm going to keep cleaning up the messes, filing the papers, folding the laundry. I'm going to get off the couch and live my story. 

Quit Before You're Finished

I played volleyball in college for two years. I knew I was on a downhill stretch after I turned down a varsity spot twice; what's really the point after that unless you are playing for fun? I have to try really hard to play for fun; I want to win. We were playing to lose and I don't like losing. 

When we lost a Thursday night game I was aching all weekend to get back in the gym. Sweat through another practice remembering it wasn't over yet. That loss wasn't the final call.  Practice was like a sign that it wasn't over. There was still a game even if we had lost. Again. 

I love to play volleyball so practice was always over before I was ready. I loved to play even in the gym with no air-conditioning and I would have ran drills and scrimmaged all night. But for some reason even colleges are weird about you spending time doing homework and passing classes and not just playing ball. So I left every day looking forward to the next practice. 

One of the tricks you learn with kids is to quit before they're done. Stop the activity while everyone is still having fun. Stop before they get bored and start looking to derail the activity. It's a great rule of thumb for small children. 

I've also learned that most rules of thumb for small children are also applicable for adults. Don't run yourself into the ground over something (without a serious deadline) if you want to keep enjoying it. I love to blog. I make no money from it and I'm not trying to. I've read that's one of the quickest ways to hate blogging and I think it would be for me. I don't want to start stressing over something I enjoy. 

This principle means that I don't do things to exhaustion. Ok, correction, I don't do "work" tasks (writing, art, piano) to exhaustion. Some of this is others-imposed. I can only practice piano for so long before my children start climbing the walls. But this practice pays off. 

Creative experts tell you to quit when you know what you're doing next. Quit when you know what the next line is, the next topic, the next chapter. Quit when you know what you need to work on next on the piano- the next scale, the next add-in. Quit when you want to draw another picture or work on chins one more time. 

It's much easier to come back the next day knowing where to start. That's a lot more energizing and you waste less time than if you have to sit and try to think of what to do. Find the new places to start while you are still in the work flow. Give your future self a head start. 

So put up the playdough while everyone's having fun. Stop practicing piano while you are still loving it. Write the first section of that new chapter and then put it down. Let it live in your mind until it's time to go at it again. Work in enthusiasm and not necessity whenever possible. 

Of course this doesn't really apply to cleaning toilets or folding laundry. Just do those and be done. Until tomorrow at least. 

8 Tips for Planning Personal Projects + a #52for2015 Update

"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it." Picasso

Most of the projects I do are, in some sense, for someone else. The writing shows up here on the blog and on social media. I practice piano partially (but not mostly) because I play at church. This year I unintentionally started an art project and today I jotted down some reasons this project was succeeding and accomplishing more than what I set out to. 

Maybe you want to plan a project and don't know where to start. Fear is what typically stops me. What if it all turns out to be a waste of time? Well, watching tv probably is a waste of time too and we all do that. So why not get to work? 

1. Decide your purpose. My art project was solely for me. Maybe you want to do a project that will allow you to make handmade Christmas presents for your family or crafts to sell. 

2. Pick something you like. I have always loved drawing. I used to fill sketchbooks when I was younger. However I haven't made time for art on a consistent basis since I took a drawing class freshman year of college. Use these personal projects as a space to explore something you like. 

3. Pick something small. One of the biggest excuses against doing a project of any sort is a lack of time. My original plan was to spend 20 minutes a week on a drawing. That's a totally reasonable goal even with everything else I do. It did grow over the year because I have enjoyed the project so much. But start small and get bigger instead of realizing it doesn't fit your life. 

4. Designate a work time. I decided I would do my weekly sketches on Tuesday night once the boys were in bed. When I decided I wanted to do the small daily sketches at the beginning of quiet time I tried it out for a week to make sure it would fit into real life. 

5. Build in accountability. I share my #52for2015 work every Wednesday on Instagram. There have been plenty of times I would have skipped the work on Tuesday but I knew I was supposed to share it. Granted, this is causal accountability. Nobody is going to hunt me down if I don't post but it still works. 

6. Allow your focus to change. I do the small daily sketches now; I did not plan on that at the beginning. I have also changed mediums during the year to keep the work fresh and interesting. If you are too rigid and don't grow with yourself you will lose interest. 

7. Find your supporters. Every time I show a drawing or painting to my husband he says, "I want it for my office." We joke about it now but it still feels nice. (He actually does have the elephant drawing.) There is also a large artistic community on Instagram and I've connected with some of them. 

8. Decide what success looks like. You might want to get all those Christmas gifts made or finish some projects you have already started. But have some general idea of what you want to accomplish. I want to finish 52 pieces by the end of the year (I completed #36 this week). I also want to learn some new techniques. Knowing what I want to accomplish keeps me from comparing my work to anyone else's and getting discouraged. 

I'm about to fill up my sketchbook. Obviously it's full of terrible drawings; I did not show you all of them on purpose. But I have a sketchbook full of drawings and not just tv shows I've watched to account for some of my time this year. I think it's fun to track small progress (that's why I'm keeping a list of books I've read this year); it's easy to think you're not doing anything when you really are. 

Reclaim some old passion that you haven't visited in years. Then tag me on IG or Twitter (@delighting_days) so I can see it. Or you can post it to the facebook wall. I'd love to see what you're working on! 

-Most of the drawings are based on book illustrations or Pinterest ideas. 

Conferences and Change

Sometimes you need a kick in the pants to get moving; sitting still is always comfortable. I'm part of The Influence Network and I love their monthly classes (writing and painting, anyone?). Each year they have a big conference in Indianapolis in September and I said, "eh, I'll go next year." 

Guess what? There is no next year. This is the year of the last big conference. (I feel like that could be an official title. "Year of the Last Big Conference": doubt they're going to take that up.)

So I'm going this year. Justin and I discussed it for weeks. How we would work out the money and the details and the children. And then we discussed it some more. Finally we decided it was worth doing and I bought my ticket. 

I'll be there a month from today. Right now I am all kinds of excited and not nervous at all. When it gets closer I know I'll be all kinds of nervous but hopefully still excited. 

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. Leonardo Da Vinci

It's easier to just keep doing the same things. I could practice piano faithfully every day and in twenty years my playing could sound exactly the same if I don't change how I practice and learn new things. 

Change is uncomfortable. Even considering change makes me mentally tired. I would rather just go to sleep. But it's necessary for growth. (Maybe that's why babies sleep so much? Or at least you hope they do.)

Change is why I'm working on different ideas for the blog facebook page instead of just quitting it. 

Change is why I'm working on post ideas for #write31days. I'm going to participate this year and I have an awesome topic that I can't wait to write about and share with you. Follow along on the facebook page for some question and answer sessions about that. 

Change is why Phylicia and I started the podcast. We wanted to use a different avenue to get out the message that Jesus can change your life. Being a Christian isn't living the same life just knowing the end is different. God wants to transform your entire life. 

Change is why I refuse to make excuses. It's why I'm turning in the volunteer application for our crisis pregnancy center. It's why I'm going to a planning meeting for a local homeschool volleyball team (I may get to help. There is a serious happy dance going on here.)

It's easier to decide to do it next year or next time. Of course that's out of the way with the conference. It's the last year they are doing it. But what about other things? I'll start the diet next week. I'll work on my ________ skill next month. I'll write that letter, call that friend, take that class next semester. What are you waiting on? What's wrong with today? Get over there to the instrument and practice. Drag out the camera and take some pictures. Sit down at the computer and code or write. 

Work takes effort. Growing is hard; stagnation is easy. But only one of them will get you to the life that you want to have years from now. Consider just one year from now. Think about where you could be if you did the work today. However small it may be, if you do the work today (500 words, a tiny sketch, editing a blog post, 30 minutes of piano) and then you do the work tomorrow and the next day and the next day in a year you'll have made significant progress. 

Decide to do hard. Don't take the easy way. 

Four Causes of Creative Block

I write every day except Sundays. The words come best in the morning when I'm excited about life (i.e. after I've woken up) and worst at night when the day has drained me. I look forward to writing. But there have been times that I've sat down to write and had nothing to say. Absolutely nothing. I could barely manage nonsensical sentences about what happened that day. Despite my pile of ideas to work from words would not come. That's an awkward, horrible feeling. You start to think things like, "What if I never have words again? Is everything I write as bad as I feel like this is? What if I never have ideas I like again?"

When I stop and think about it I realize these times come and go. They come and it's hard but then they leave and I have about five ideas a day. So I jot them down and pick one a day and go with it. 

These creative blocks are usually caused by the same problems. 

1. Physical exhaustion. One time I accidentally waited until bedtime to write after a day that we spent driving to Kingsport, visiting both sets of grandparents, and then driving three hours back home. I forgot that I hadn't written and you know what? I was exhausted. That was horrible writing. It was about nothing and it was hard to do. Exhaustion seriously strains brain power and creativity. 

2. Burdens. As much as I love my life it's not always easy. But I have something to do with my problems- I can take them to Jesus. When I do, I find I can put them from my mind and create. When I don't I find they are overwhelming and use all the brain space. I should not try to carry my problems myself; I am not strong enough. 

3. Lack of input. I have to be feeding my creativity. It's hard to find time to read but the time is there. I need to read my Bible. I need to read good books. I should be listening to podcasts and music. I should be writing down every idea I think of- even if it seems a little dumb. I should see pretty things as often as possible. Visual content is important and it can train your mind to look at life a little differently.

4. Lack of discipline. I usually have a topic in the back of my mind when I sit down to write. However, I've been working on assigning myself a topic and writing about that even if I don't feel inspired.  It's really pushing me in a good way. I've gotten some great ideas and blog posts from this method. 

When you don't have words or ideas keep your routine. Don't stop there or the ideas will die. They are on vacation but you're still working. When you force yourself through that uncomfortable thirty minutes of writing with nothing to say you are imprinting on your mind that it's time to work. You are teaching yourself to persevere; that you don't just write because it's easy or comfortable. The ideas will come back. Rest, read, and pray. Then make yourself work. 

Introducing the Uniquely Woman Podcast

You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be great. 

You have to start to learn how to do something well. You don't know how to be a mother when you have that first baby. You don't know how to blog when you publish that first blog post.

And you don't know how to podcast until you start podcasting.

Introducing the Uniquely Woman podcast! Phylicia and I have been working on this project over the summer and are excited to share this resource with you. We will be discussing how to live as Christian women in today's culture, how to think Biblically, and how to make decisions that honor God. There are currently three episodes in iTunes now and we will be releasing new episodes on Wednesdays.

You can subscribe to the podcast in iTunes. Please be sure to leave a review after you've listened!

You can connect with us on Facebook at Uniquely Woman. We would love to hear your questions and thoughts about womanhood and faith! You can also email us at uniquelywomanpodcast@gmail.com.



This is only made possible by the technical support of my husband. He's pretty great. And techy.

When to Work: What to Work On

I have some well-laid times to work on the blog. I have three small boys and don't want to work on it when they are awake. I want to spend that time with them, training, loving, laughing, and gritting my teeth occasionally (#reallife). 

I know when to work if the work is doing to be done. I try to keep it to two blocks of time: quiet time and before the boys gets up. The morning work fluctuates depending on what time I go to bed and when the boys get up. But quiet time? It's like gold. I look forward to that hour of mostly quiet (one boy doesn't nap) when I can write and draw and blog. 

Having the work times isn't enough though. I have to have a plan for my work. Otherwise I waste the time deciding what to do first or surfing social media. 

I have a list of tasks to accomplish during quiet time. These include writing 500 words, drawing my daily sketch, posting to Instagram, responding to social media comments, and updating our budget. If I work in the morning I have more flexibility; I'm working on making that a habit. I also need to edit blog posts and plan for the podcast but neither of those are done every day. 

That's not a short list of work for around an hour and half every day. But it is a specific list. 

This is also true in homeschooling. We are just barely getting started but I need a plan (even if we don't always follow it). I get frustrated trying to think of ideas while the boys are doing who-knows-what waiting. That doesn't work. I have to know what I need to do. 

That's why I meal plan. I can cook and I enjoy it. But if I don't know what I'm making or at least have a list of meals to choose from (which is really what my meal plan turns into) then I just stare into the cabinets and the refrigerator and think "there's nothing here to cook." It doesn't work for me. 

That's why I have a cleaning schedule. So that I know what needs to be done every day to keep the house in order. I know we need to make beds, start laundry, and empty the dishwasher before breakfast. I know that we need to pick up toys before we move on to the next thing. I couldn't work here in the living room at quiet time if we left the toys everywhere. The clutter and chaos would drive me crazy. 

Having a time to work is only half the battle. You have to know what you need to do. 

Know what to do. Know when to do it. Then do the work. 

Do you have settled times to work on different tasks? How do you keep yourself on track? 

How to Have a Life That Matters

I read quite a bit about work, creativity, and business. Over and over consistency and habit are touted as the secret weapons. It's not that you do amazing work every day. It's that you show up to do the work every day. 

You show up and write even if it's bad. You show up every morning to teach your kids even if you feel like pulling your hair out. You show up every day because you committed to the life God has given you. 

I know duty isn't a sexy word. It's not a buzz word everyone is throwing around. Adventure is. Fame is. But duty? Habit? Routine?  Nobody wants to talk about those. Those are the words, however boring they may sound, that build a solid life. 

This attitude carries over to all of life. Duty is what makes me clean up an accident again. Grace is what helps me do it with a good attitude.  Routine is what allows me to move seamlessly from one activity to another so that we accomplish our work and have fun. Habit is what makes me do the hard things; it's simply time to do them. 

Maybe duty means you show up on time or empty those trashcans even if it's "not your job." Habit allows you to move quickly through your email or finish a set of tasks. Routine enables you to get more done because you aren't spending your time deciding what to do next. 

Duty is what keeps me disciplining my children and lovingly teaching them when it seems to have no effect. Maybe I'm not sure it will ever help but I know that I've been called by God Himself. It's not a job I can pass off. It's not a job I can ignore. However unlovely it may seem at the time- and diapers, accidents, and still more dishes are often unlovely- the job is mine to do and do well. 

It's not how worthy we consider the activity. It's how worthy God is of our best effort. He didn't call us to a life of excitement, although life is often exciting. He didn't call us to a life of adventure, although the Christian life shines with adventure. God calls us to be faithful, to do our duty, just as Jesus did even when His duty led Him to the cross. 

Suddenly our work seems like no big deal, doesn't it? Perspective is always the issue. Do your duty. Show up every day. Show up to change the diapers, sweep the floor, empty the trashcans. Show up to input the data, answer the phone, count the money. 

Live out the less exciting words and you'll have a life that matters. 

How Social Media Affects Work

I love social media. Instagram is my favorite (@delighting_days) and I'm really enjoying the facebook page that I recently started for the blog. But I've learned something valuable. Social media has to be my last priority when I sit down to work. 

Social media has the potential to kill my blog. And not only my blog. Social media could kill all my dreams for all my projects, current and future. How, you ask?  Could a sociopath find us on the internet and murder us in our sleep? Ok, it's a possibility, but probably not. 

If I spend time on social media that I need to spend on other things, I'm killing something. Social media could kill my blog if I spend my time scrolling instead of writing or editing blog posts. If I don't spend my writing time, well, writing, then I'm wasting that time. Social media is constantly updated. But you have to live life not just look at everyone else's. 

If I spend my time scrolling you know what I'm not doing? I'm not writing. I'm not drawing. I'm not practicing the piano. I'm not editing blog posts or collaborating on projects. That means I'm not blogging. I'm not adding words to what I've written this year (from January-June I've written over 96,000 words). I'm not actually living; I'm just watching other people live. 

If I spend my time scrolling instead of working on my skills, then I've killed my dreams for future work because I won't be any better than I am now. I am handing over my options for the future. 

To step outside of work, if I'm scrolling I'm not kissing my husband, playing ball with my boys, or kissing my baby's face. I'm not making dinner, talking to friends, or cleaning the bathroom counter. There are very few things you can do while you are scrolling through social media and even fewer that you can do well at the same time. 

Am I against social media? Of course not! But they can take over. How often do you look at social media during the day? Are you checking out everyone else's lives when you should be checked into your own life? That's when you have a problem. 

There's a give and take with everything. I want to know what I'm giving up when I take up social media one more time. I'm having to draw lines again. When you start new things it's easy to be a little infatuated. Who's looking at that facebook post? What was that message about? But I have times to check social media and I need to stick with them. They are best for our family. 

Maybe you wonder how I blog or draw with three young kids? I'm very careful with my time. I'll go into that more next week. If I waste all my time on social media, it's gone. I don't have all day to do these things. 

Time is precious. How do you safeguard yours? 

Books I've Read This Year

Before I move on to the actual books you should know (drumroll please!) that this weekend I made a facebook page for the blog. Finally...after four years of blogging. If you're on facebook, connect with me there! https://www.facebook.com/delightingdays  Now back to the books.

Reading is how you learn- to write, to listen, to see the world from someone else's view. Because of that I've been prioritizing a little reading time this year. Mamas, I've done almost all of this reading while I've fed the baby before bed. Minutes add up!

-Beautiful in God's Eyes- Elizabeth George
-Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
-Make It Happen- Lara Casey
-Sense and Sensibility- Jane Austen
-Great Expectations- Charles Dickens
-Growing Great Kids- Kate Battistelli
-Wuthering Heights- Emily Bronte
-A Wrinkle in Time- Madeleine L'Engle
-A Wind in the Door- Madeleine L'Engle
-Out of the Silent Planet- C.S. Lewis
-Perelandra- C.S. Lewis
-A Swiftly Tilting Planet- Madeleine L'Engle
-Many Waters- Madeleine L'Engle
-Troubling a Star- Madeleine L'Engle
-Own Your Life- Sally Clarkson
-The Art of Work- Jeff Goins
-The Alchemist- Paul Coehlo

I'm reading now
-The Creative Habit- Twyla Tharp
-On Writing Well- Williams Zinsser
-A Tale of Two Cities- Charles Dickens

Obviously I got off on a L'engle kick there. I haven't read any of her work in years and those are all juvenile fiction so they were fast reads.  I still have a couple others of hers that I borrowed that I want to read pretty soon.

Also my Amazon wish list has over 50 books on it. My husband may make fun of me for that.

What are you reading?

July Goals

Art is a captivating thing. We'd say it's not necessary- like beauty or books- for survival. And maybe, just maybe, it's not. But it is certainly necessary for thriving. You can be alive without art and music and books but you can't really live. 

My first spring semester of college I took a drawing class. It was my only art class because they are long classes and moved into afternoon volleyball practice. Once I quit playing volleyball I was trying to finish a semester early (and I did) and didn't have as much time for the "fun" classes. 

My college professor suggested that I at least minor in art. I loved the idea but I already had a double major and didn't do it. I would probably redo that if I could. (Of course every time I think I would redo something I realize that God has always been at work in  my life and He's woven choices and decisions together in ways I could never imagine.) Thankfully learning is not exclusive to college. 

Learning doesn't stop when school ends. That's really where it begins. Where you can delve deep in topics that interest you and pay much less than what college costs. That's why I advocate personal grad school. It's a pursuing of skills and talents beyond the classroom into everyday life. Options abound; read books and blogs, listen to podcasts, experiment with projects. Part of this for me includes my goal-setting. 

June Goals: 

1. Two reading lessons a week with Micah. Check and check. 

2. Finish memorizing Psalm 19 with boys. It needs a little smoothing but it's done! 

3. Go on one out-of-the-house date with Justin. 

4. Lay groundwork for new project.  That should be launching toward the end of this month! 

5. Daily sketches (except Sundays and our vacation days). Check! 

I've been doing my June creativity project and I have loved messing around in a sketchbook every day. I've loved finding ideas and drawing. Most of the time I've been surprised at how well they've turned out. Not that they are great, but they are better than I expected. I look forward to drawing every day so I'm going to continue next month. 

However I don't want to get used to doing the same old thing. So I'm going to do my #52for2015 sketches in pen and colored pencils. 

July: 

1. One outside date

2. #52for2015 in pen and colored pencil (4)

3. Blog series on work on Mondays

4. Two reading lessons a week with Micah.

5. Memorize Psalm 100 with boys

Again I'm not listing things I'm already doing- like piano lessons, writing and drawing every day, cleaning, schoolwork with boys, etc. You get the idea. This is to focus on things that might not get done otherwise. 

Here's to July, people. What are you working on this month?