Pick Your Place

Pick your place. 

I heard that somewhere recently- probably on a podcast- and it stuck in my mind like a fencepost. I think we need those markers for important issues so we can revisit them occasionally. 

I don't mean pick the place where you want to be. I don't mean pick your place like you pick your flavor of popsicle at VBS. (Never mind- they gave you a flavor and you didn't whine. If you were lucky, someone would want to trade for your lime or watermelon.)

I mean pick YOUR place. Pick that place where you are now. 

Of course this is assuming that you are trying to follow God's will for your life. And I assume that most of you are because otherwise I would become obnoxious quickly. 

Pick it. Change your mindset from "I'm stuck here" to "I choose here." And before you tell me "I can't do that; it's not that simple" see me over here nodding my head saying, "Yes. You can do this." 

Do you see the difference that choice can make? Pick your place in your marriage. Pick your place in raising your kids, in your work, in your ministries. Stop fantasizing about where you would like to be and invest in where you are. Do the work in front of you instead of wishing for something different. 

If this is where God wants you, get on board. It's never wise to think we know better than God- that our ideas are better, our plans more established (Isaiah. 55:8-9). We are much better off to get on board with God even if we don't like where His train is going or what car we have to ride in or that there's smoke blowing in our face.

The other night I stood in the kitchen holding a three-year-old who had gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom. He was waiting on my husband to finish some work (some of that IT stuff is time sensitive) so he could show his daddy his pumpkin. Hamburgers were waiting on the counter because my husband and I were going to eat a late dinner/watch a show before he had to work with a consultant. And I realized there was no greater work. There was no greater ministry than right there in my kitchen with the laundry waiting in the washer and dirty pans on the stove and the child that's supposed to be sleeping. 

That can be harder to remember when you're driving down the interstate and someone asks "What's people doing?" about every single car you pass and you answer "They are driving down the interstate too" 52,00 times before you drive the 20 miles to Aldi. Or when you break up the repeated fights, clean up the potty accidents, and roll out of bed to get the crying baby. 

Pick your place. If you can remember that the crying baby, the questioning three-year-old, and the can-I-only-use-scissors-and-nothing-else kindergartener are your place, your ministry, your work, it's easier to do it well. Not perfectly, of course, but well. It fixes a lot of the heart problems that we can carry around that make us act like crazy people. It cuts off the eye rolls and the sighing and the complaining. It brings joy to the midst of the chaos. 

It's not your only work. No one is only a mother. You're a woman. Maybe a wife. You might be an employee, a writer, a musician, a doctor. Your questioning three-year-old may be an annoying co-worker or the group project in the class you didn't want to take anyway. 

Pick your place. If that's where God wants you, you don't want to move. No matter how nice you envision another place being. No matter what dreams you hold in your heart. 

No where is better for you than where you are. 

Why We Shouldn't Believe Ourselves at 3 AM

"Yikes! I really need to clean that showerhead." 

"I should eat more veggies." 

"What's a better quiet time plan for my five year old?" 

"I should exercise more than doing yoga once a week." 

"Would we ever adopt?" "Should we really start each morning with old Mickey Mouse cartoons and pancakes?" "I need to finish that newsletter subscription resource." "I need to make that phone call." "Do I read enough to the boys?" "What difference can I make?" "Did I switch that last load of laundry to the dryer?" "I should be more patient." 

These thoughts can crowd through my mind in a four second span of time. And I can go from one simple observation of "there's a cobweb in that corner" to "I'm the world's worst fill-in-the-blank" in a five-step process. 

Ever noticed this is especially easy at night? I don't know about you but when I'm up feeding the baby or putting a child back in bed if I'm not careful my mind drifts. I go from seeing that pile of unfolded laundry I left on the way to bed to realizing that I need to redo my whole schedule to contain my superwoman efforts. The problem is I'm no superwoman. 

Between the things I need to start doing and the things I need to do better is a tiny road that leads straight to exhaustion and discouragement. I start there in my mind and gallop ahead with my heart. This is not the best use of my mind. 

The Bible encourages us to love God with all our minds- not just our hearts or our souls, but with our minds as well. Mark 12:30 states: "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment." God cares about we do with our minds. He also gives us guidelines for what to think. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. (Tell me you didn't have a teacher that told you that!) God bought us with salvation and has the right to all of us- including our minds. 

So what can we do when we realize we are staring at defeat because of one dirty showerhead? 

We take our thoughts captive. We are in charge of them; we aren't at their mercy. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" 

"Every thought to the obedience of Christ." 

Instead of dwelling on the questions or the list of "shoulds" (although we should definitely pray about both) let's replace that with God's truth. When I start to feel like a failure for not exercising enough or being the world's best mom or always having all the laundry clean and folded and put away, I should instead remember the truth about God. 

-God loves me. John 3:16 

-God is working in my life right now. Philippians 1:6

-God has all the wisdom I need. James 1:5

-God is gracious and longsuffering. Psalm 103:8

-God gives peace. Philippians 4:6-7

-God establishes boundaries for my protection. Proverbs 8:32

-God uses the hard things to draw me to Him. Psalm 119:67

-God's Word shows me the path to follow. Psalm 119: 105

When I start reflecting on the truth I realize it's not all about me. In eternity it will not matter if there's a pile of unfolded towels on my couch when I go to bed. There is certainly no need to be the "world's best" at anything as that could only exalt me and not Christ. So often my heart craves validation instead of desiring to exalt Him with my life. 

Now you know me. I'm not suggesting that we don't do the work. We need to take care of our families and clean those showerheads and ask the hard questions. We need to fold the laundry and exercise. But we shouldn't beat ourselves up over the fact that we can't finish all the work every day. It's never ending. 

Who actually fixes all the things they realize are wrong with them at 3 in the morning? Let's remember who God is instead. 

Forming Worldviews as a Christian: A Manifesto of Sorts

I miss the boat most of the time when it comes to current events. I know they are happening but I don't share about them here because by the time I've found a position and a good way to share it the internet has moved on to the next topic. 

Trending topics on Facebook don't tell you much. I don't even believe what I read on most news sources anymore so I like to read widely and discuss the events with a few close friends before I start talking about where I stand. 

If people are listening to my words (and someone is listening to you too) then it's worth the time and effort to be deliberate with what I say. I always want to clarify if I'm sharing my own opinion or the truth of the Bible as well. There's a big difference between "God says" and "Lisa thinks." 

Christianity must engage with culture. I don't get a pass because I want to be careful. That's only admirable as far as it doesn't take me out of the game. We must stand for what we believe. But the way we do it matters. 

As I thought through my process I realized that I have a manifesto of sorts about how I form worldviews and opinions and express those to people who don't agree with me. 

-I try to think long and write slow so that I can carefully craft what I'm saying. This is actually just in line with my personality. I'd rather you sent me an email so that I had time to think about a response rather than have to answer you on the spot. It's not that I don't want to talk to you; I just want to think about what I'm saying. 

-I try to look at the ramifications of the situation instead of just the one part that is black and white. That's like saying that abortion is wrong and never attempting to assist in the situations that lead to women choosing abortions. Of course it's wrong, but what are you doing to help? I don't want to just point out problems and never the solutions. 

-I try to present my viewpoint with intelligence and compassion to foster conversation and relationships with people disagree. There is never a place for name-calling. I don't need to have a superiority complex even if I'm standing on the truth of the Bible. It does not help the Christian position if we fly off with hot words- calling people names and never listening to what others are saying. 

-I want to always be able to admit that I'm wrong, that I changed my mind, that I don't know the answer, or that I'm not sure where I stand yet. Some things are hard to work through. They are multi-faceted and the answer might not be readily apparent. I do not have to have all the answers, even for myself. 

-I want to ask the hard questions. That's the only way to make progress even though it's uncomfortable. It's easy to just keep repeating the easy stuff and never delve into the issues that the lost want to discuss. Why should they be more intellectually sound than we are? 

-I want to stand my ground. Once I have a Bible-based opinion, I want to stand on it (again compassionately and intelligently) regardless of disagreement. 

-I want to avoid calling others names or presenting myself as an expert. Everyone can teach me something. 

-I want to recognize that we are each the product of our environments and education (and I don't just mean formal education) and that we are works-in-progress. As stated above, we should be able to change our minds and grow. We should disagree with some of our positions from five years ago (without compromising Biblical truth obviously). 

-I want to be able to disagree well. I will disagree with people I respect and that's ok. There are friends that I don't always agree with but I like their input. They always bring up something I hadn't considered before and push me to back up my position with something besides feelings. To not talk to them would be a loss to myself and my credibility. 

Some things I make myself write about and hit publish even though I feel like I could write another 1,000 words about the topic. I have to give you enough credit to believe that you understand where I'm coming from, especially if you've been reading here for a while. I'm always open for polite dialogue on post topics. I want you to be heard. 

Some things aren't for the internet, at least for me. There are many topics that I think are better suited for a face-to-face conversation where body language and tone come into play. It's a lot easier to speak the truth in love over coffee with someone you care about than it is to accurately represent your whole heart in text on a screen. 

What I don't want to do is just blather on all the time, foaming at the mouth about what the world's coming to. We Christians ruin our credibility when we leave our intelligence behind in considering and presenting our positions. Sometimes I'm not sure that our beliefs are as offensive as they seem. I think it's us. I think it's the careless way we wave the name of God over positions that we can't back from the Bible or if we can, we don't do in a way that represents the heart of Christ as well. 

We should challenge ourselves to a little more than that. After all, are we here to win the lost or are we trying to pick fights? We can't do both. 

You Are A Teacher: We All Start Somewhere

"You could teach piano, especially to beginners. I turn away students all the time." 

My piano teacher's comment left me stunned as I remembered all the times that I wanted to bang my head on the piano keys in frustration. But she's right- I could teach beginner's piano. I don't have time to right now but it's on my "work bucket list" for the future. 

It's easy to think that because we don't know it all we can't teach anything. 

I've been watching Michael Hyatt's Influence and Impact Summit this week. I've been taking lots of notes; it's material that qualifies for personal grad school (and it was free!). In her interview, Lysa TerKeurst described the different types of content creators- you know, blogger, podcasters, speakers, authors- and I realized that I am the "in your field" type of woman.

I'm not an expert. That's how I always think of bloggers/podcasters/teachers and I don't want you to ever think that about me. 

I don't know it all; most days I feel like I don't know anything. I'm constantly asking for forgiveness in my walk with God, my marriage, and my mothering. I spend most of my time asking God exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I write about things that I'm only slowly learning myself. Those things may save you a few steps along the way. So why should you still read? 

We all start somewhere. You can't have grown kids unless you raised your kindergartner. You can't be married thirty years until you've been married seven. You can't be a great writer unless you were once a mediocre writer who kept writing. 

Sometimes you need someone to come alongside you: someone is who is where you are or just a few steps down the road. 

I can encourage you to do the little things. 

Or read the Bible for learning and not a to-do list. 

I can encouragement you not to look to your husbands for all your emotional needs.

I can remind you to manage your expectations because life isn't what we expect. 

For all that I'm sharing, I'm reading and learning at least twice as much. I'm revealing the things that I'm working on to encourage you to be about the work as well, even if your work is different than mine. 

This doesn't just apply to me. You are someone's teacher. Maybe you don't feel like an expert either. You think you don't know as much as she does. Or you can't do that as well as she can. But the people you influence may not know her. Or they might not have a relationship with her. (And quit comparing yourself to "her" while you're at it.)

You do know that woman. 

You have that opportunity to speak into her life. You have the opportunity to love that woman and remind her that God sees her. You have the opportunity to bless her family and encourage her in her mothering, her work, her singleness. 

It's not because you're the expert and you have no questions. Often it's simply because you can walk up and say, "I know how you're feeling. I also know what God says about it. Here's the difference." 

God never asks us to wait until we feel qualified to serve Him and help others. No one gets to that point. We will always be aware of our faults and problems but we can't refuse to serve God because of them. 

There are people coming along behind you that need you. It may be one kid in your Sunday School class or one hundred Twitter followers. It might be one mom that you meet, a younger colleague in the office, or a teen girl at church. It might be your little sister, a family friend on Facebook, or a college freshman who watches you in class. 

Don't feel discouraged that you're not farther down the road than where you are. There's someone two steps behind you and you're pointing the way. There's a woman running beside you and she needs you to come alongside and say, "Keep your eyes on Jesus and keep running." 

John Maxwell said it best this week, "If you won't give three people 100%, you won't give 3,000 people 100%."

Don't disqualify yourself from serving. Extend what you do have and keep learning. Serve Jesus where you are and you'll serve Jesus wherever you are.

When Culture and Truth Collide

Christians are supposed to be counter-cultural. As our nation and world (at least parts of it-let's not be so America-centric) drift further from the Bible we are going to stick out more and more. Our ideas, character, motives, and lifestyle should be notedly different from our unsaved neighbors. We must realize when we are hearing truth and when we are hearing popular ideas that masquerade as truth. 

Today I only want to talk about two slogans. Partly because they are so popular and partly because these affect our lives daily.

The first one is this- "Do what you love." I recognize that most people are saying to pursue a job or a career that you love. That's not necessarily bad if you are privileged to do that. Sometimes though you just need to pay the bills and put food on the table. 

To be honest, I do a lot of things every day that I don't just love doing. Ever potty-trained anyone? Not a love. And while I've cultivated a good attitude about housework (most of the time anyway) I don't just love washing dishes or doing the laundry. I don't just love getting out of bed every morning or going grocery shopping in the rain with three children. 

So what's the antidote? What do we pursue if it's not just doing what we love? 

Instead of doing what we love we need to do what needs to be done. Then learn to love that. Goethe said, "Cease endlessly striving for what you would like to do and learn to love what must be done."   That's not a topic applauded in our world. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are "created in Christ Jesus unto good works." And  1 Timothy 5:10 gives a list that ends with "every good work." That list includes things like washing the saints' feet and bringing up children just in case you thought that work didn't qualify. 

I spend my days doing things that I'm learning to love. Or at the very least learning to love for what they do for my character and my family. It often helps to look at the results of the work or the reason for the work instead of the effort of the work. 

I'm learning to love getting up at night with babies. I'm thankful for them and that's just part of it. I'm learning to love training my boys because the results are going to be men of character (I hope.)

Sure that's a time to pursue what you love. But there are plenty more times to knuckle down and do what needs to be done. 

There's another saying that is just as dangerous to our lives. I cringe when I hear it (but that's it; I really don't lecture people in person regardless of what I say here). You've heard it too- "Follow your heart." Really? In some ways this is just another way of saying, "Do what you love." Pursue what you're interested in; consider no one besides yourself. This is erroneous advice. 

Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Our hearts are the last thing we should follow. I don't want to look for guidance on the inside of me because I know what I am. And you know what you are. 

We don't need to look deep inside us for truth because it's not there. We don't need to examine our hearts and use that as an excuse for flitting through life committing to nothing. We don't need to use our flighty emotions as reasons for abandoning our families, hurting the feelings of others, and ignoring our responsibilities. 

Don't worry; there's an antidote here too. Instead of following our hearts we should follow the Bible. I guess that's not as catchy of a phrase; you probably won't see that one waved around on the banner. But what if we tried it? What if instead of doing whatever our heart wanted to- whatever felt good- we did what the Bible said to? How much trouble would that save us? 

How much sin would we leave behind if we made the Bible our standard? We might even cast off a few things that aren't sin but that hold us back from fully serving God. Doesn't He deserve that from us? 

Not sure you believe me? We can evaluate our hearts quickly. Matthew 12:34 states: "O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." That's enough to tell me that my heart is not what I want to follow. But if you still need more convincing try this one. Proverbs 23:7, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:" You might have cleaned up your speech but I doubt anyone has cleaned up their thoughts enough to be impressed with themselves. 

We know what we are. We know our hearts will not lead us to truth. Let's depend on the Bible to show us the way instead. Psalm 119:105 says, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." God gave us His Word to show us how to live. Let's not bumble along on our own. 

We don't have to accept the world's slogans as truth. We do need to be able to evaluate what's being said in the light of Scripture.

What other popular sayings would you add to this list? How do you remember the truth when you are faced with lies?  

Embracing Discomfort

I've been introducing myself to strangers lately. It's not something I really enjoy and even the fact that we have mutual acquaintances and purpose to the meetings doesn't really help. But I have learned to do it without choking, physically at least.  

God has intentionally been sticking these opportunities in front of me- opportunities that I really want to take- so that I have to step up when I'd rather not. I'd rather not make a phone call. I'd rather not show up when I don't recognize any faces. I'd rather not offer my skills when I'm afraid I'll be laughed at. But I've been doing it anyway. 

Most of it has come from doing what I'd rather not in everyday life. I'd rather not clean up another accident, draft that email, get out of bed. But I do because God tells me to. The little work has been training in obedience for when the harder things arrive. As I learn to obey today I'm preparing myself for what's down the road. Even if I clean up cheerios three times today I know that I can do it again tomorrow. And then I learn to do it with a smile, teaching the boys how to help me with a good attitude. Hard things becomes habits and I find they don't take the mental effort that they used to. Then I can tackle another hard thing. 

Sometimes it goes really well with strangers and with the obedience. We hit it off; I find a place to assist with the work; I clean up the spill without losing my temper. Sometimes I'm left relieved that I did what I was supposed to and I didn't turn my back on uncomfortable opportunity. "All opportunity is uncomfortable. That's where you have to live life."  It's easy to believe that on those days. 

And other times it's everything I fear it will be. I leave remembering all the things I said that perhaps I shouldn't have or I fall asleep at night wishing I could take back those words or that wasted time. I would rather curl up on the couch with a book instead of writing my own story because I'm very likely to embarrass myself. If I don't do anything I can at least avoid that. 

That's not entirely true. Once I've wasted my life I'll see all the things that I could have done if I had lived in that discomfort. I'll see the people I could have helped, the places I could have served, and realize that all the potential embarrassment in the world shouldn't have been enough to stop me. The point of life isn't to avoid mistakes or humiliation. The purpose of life is to pour myself out serving God and helping others. The purpose is to empty myself every day for the people that God places in my path instead of trying to keep it all in my grasp. 

And yes, sometimes that means I mess up. But I'm going to keep introducing myself. I'm going to keep cleaning up the messes, filing the papers, folding the laundry. I'm going to get off the couch and live my story. 

Your Hands Reveal Your Heart

They move across the piano keys, sometimes swiftly, sometimes stumbling. They knead the bread dough, rinse the carrots, chop the chicken. They type on the computer keyboard and jot notes in my planner. They hold my husband's hands, hug my boys, wash little baby toes. They move the pencil to form pictures, hold the broom to clean the floor, fold the shirts out of the dryer. They answer the phone, move the iced coffee to my mouth, and open the door. 

My hands are probably the part of my body I am most aware of throughout the day. They do so much. They show love to others, care for my family, and express creativity. They are the outlet for my brain.

The work they do reveals my heart. 

They aren't a model's hands; no one will ever ask to photograph my hands to advertise jewelry. I used to be embarrassed that my hands were so big but now I'm just thankful. Big hands can spread more than an octave on the piano, set a volleyball with better contact, and hold far more little cars than small hands could. 

This mindset is gradually carrying over to more than just my hands. I'm learning to see things (including myself) for how they work and bless others instead of how they look.  

To be less superficial in my views. 
Less obsessive about appearance.
Less concerned with the outside and more preoccupied with the heart. 

My hands are working hands. When I'm eighty I hope they are hands that have served strangers, painted pictures that have cheered homes, written words that pointed others to Jesus, changed diapers for countless baby bottoms and lightened the load for young mothers. I hope they have helped others up, filled bellies with food, played the piano, and managed money with a balanced heart. 

I am doing that work today because today makes up a piece of the future.  I am typing the words. I am cooking the food, changing the diapers, turning the pages of the story, cutting the grapes, pulling the weeds. I am pushing the keys, drawing the pictures, wiping the counter. This home is at present my primary serving place. I want to do my work here well because to do otherwise would reveal a cold heart toward this mission field.

What are your hands doing? What work are you performing? If you examine your work you will find your heart. 

Christ has no hands but our hands to do His work today, He has no feet but our feet to lead men in the way, He has no tongue but our tongue to tell men how He died, He has no help but our help to bring them to His side.     Annie Johnston Flint

When Serving God is Good

My pastor hates when preachers tell stories that make God look small. You've heard them. "I was going to preach somewhere and we were broke. They didn't give me an offering to buy gas but they gave me a chicken. My wife cooked that chicken over a fire by the road and while we were eating someone stopped by and put a gallon of gas in the car." He always says, "Who wants to serve that God?" 

Serving God can get a bad rap. "Come serve God and you can be miserable too!" It's easy to see how it turns into that. After all, God does call us to die to self and take up our cross. He did send His own Son to Calvary. We've all heard someone deliver the "God called me to do all the things I hated in life and I did them and it was hard."

In real life I don't know anyone like that- at least no one I want to be like. That does not inspire or motivate me to serve God. And if I want to serve God I can only imagine how it sounds to people who are on the fence about giving their lives as well as their hearts to Jesus. 

I'm not at all suggesting that we water down God's Word to be appealing to me or anyone else. I'm not suggesting that we make the will of God seem like walks along the beach at sunset. I am suggesting that maybe we should look at our own lives and see what's been true for us. 

O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. Psalm 34:8

We have to purposely look for the good in life. We are naturally bent to notice the negative. The heartbreaking moments of life are seared into us by force of emotion. We don't have to try to remember them. But we do have to challenge ourselves to see the good; otherwise we can walk right by without once thanking God for it. 

Writing is an excellent memory aid. I have an apparently faulty memory and it helps to look back over answered prayers and issues and events in life. So I started a list. I have my own family and a home to care for. I get to work in various ministries through our church. I'm using my writing skills not just here on the blog but also in other avenues. I've coached volleyball and counseled women. I could go on but I'm not really that interested in your knowing my list. 

I want you to make your own list. Sit down with a pencil and notebook (or the notes app on your iPhone) and think about the things that you do now or have done. Write down all the things that you do that you truly enjoy or have always wanted to do or hope to keep doing. Most of you can come up with something. 

But what if you aren't there yet? Maybe your list is small. Maybe you're a new Christian and you don't know where to start. You might not be sure how life can be good once God starts reshaping your heart. Here are a few ideas. 

1. Take opportunities. 

Don't worry about whether you are the most qualified. There will always be someone more qualified. But they might not be where you are. If you are available and willing you are the person. 

2. Develop skills even if you don't know how/when you will use them. 

You can't expect God to use you if you won't put in some work. If you are interested in something, learn more about it.  As you learn skills God will bring opportunities to use them in His timing. 

3. Learn to love what you do. 

Life will never consist of only doing your favorite things. If you can learn to love what is in front of you, you will enjoy life so much more. Don't we all want to radiate joy even in the midst of a less-than-perfect life? It might take some practice but you can get there. Start by asking God to change your heart. 

Every person has hard things in life. In no way am I trying to remove that truth. But as I walk in hard things I don't have to do it alone. The presence of God is a gift that softens the sharp edges of difficulties. 

I should serve Him just because of what He's done for me- whether or not it's hard, whether or not I like it. 

Instead He gives me opportunities to serve in ways that I love. That makes me love Him more. 

Maybe you're not at a place in life where you can say that. That's ok. You can say that living for God is hard- because it is. But hear this- God made you; He knows you; He loves you. And He has a plan for your life that surpasses where you are at this moment. Don't quit. 

The Woman Across the Table: Where Service Isn't Fame

In less than two weeks, I'm going to be at Influence Conference. I'm so excited! There are several people I know online that I can't wait to meet in person (Why was that so much creepier 10 years ago?) and some of my favorite internet people will be speaking. My husband always laughs when I mention something that one of my favorite internet people wrote. But really, that's a thing; you have favorite internet people too. Yes? Yes. 

The internet makes the world so small. 2015 is amazing. We have companies helping people around the world, women encouraging women from their living rooms, and access to all the learning and education we could want. It's also easy to find the women who have a gift for speaking truth or sharing their lives online. 

As much as I might love their work or their art or their whatever-it-is-that-they-do they are still only internet people. I don't know them- at least no more than what they choose to reveal about themselves. They don't know me. They aren't going to come alongside me when my child is ill or teach me new skills that I can use to serve God. 

They are just one or two or three people. Do you know how many women there are in the U.S.? 158.6 million in 2009. Can ten, twenty, or even fifty "famous" online women, no matter how gifted or intelligent they are, really know and help all those women? 

Of course not. Jess Connolly wrote a beautiful piece about having to choose to create or respond. All of us only have so much time and so many resources. 

It's always in human nature to be drawn to the big names. We want to know the leader, to sit at the cool kids table, to feel validated by being accepted by the "famous." And there's value in surrounding yourself with the right kind of people. Jeff Goins has talked about it in a podcast about Hemingway and his own move to Nashville. But sometimes it's just a search for validation. "If I know the popular kids then I'm accepted." We're not that far above elementary school lunchroom behavior after all.  Why not make our own table?

We all know women who love God and are serving Him. They have just as much to offer even if they aren't well-known or don't have a huge online following or haven't written a book. We know women who are digging into the Word and loving their neighbor well. We know women who serve their families and strengthen their husbands and train their children in righteousness. We know women who dedicate time to pursuing skills and passions so that they can use them for God. 

Make a table with those ladies. Invite them in. Get to know them- learn from them and help them. Maybe even face-to-face and not just on Twitter (although Twitter is really growing on me). This may be your grandma who makes cookies every week for the neighborhood kids. Or it might be the lady who volunteers at the shelter, works in the church nursery, or teaches teens English. You may be surprised how often you find these people who have so much to teach you right in your life. 

Stop waiting to be recognized. We cannot all be the popular people and we don't need to be. Forge a path where you are. You don't have to be known by the big names to be accepted or valuable (although, let's be real, your message might reach more people that way). That confident walk where Christ has called you will speak for itself no matter where you are. 

Stop waiting for the known names to do all the work. There are people that only you can reach. You at home with your little kids still impact others. You caring for your aging parent, working two jobs to support your family, or struggling in your season of life will still meet women who need the help you can give. We can't leave the work to the missionaries, our pastors, or the ones who have authored books. They can't do it all. 

We can each do our part though. If we all served up the influence we have where we are- pointing others to Jesus- we might be surprised at what we can do throughout our lifetime. One day at a time, one person at a time. 

Now when I go to Influence Conference am I going to introduce myself to my favorite internet people? You betcha. I'll probably even try to take a selfie (or if I get lucky, someone else will take the picture). But I'm going to spend most of my time getting to know the women sitting at the table across from me who are doing extraordinary things with their ordinary lives. 

One Brushstroke at a Time

"A masterpiece still comes together one brushstroke at a time." Ruth Simons

Ruth is one of my favorite internet people (and I get to hear her speak at Influence Conference in a few weeks!). She has six boys. She writes. She homeschools. And she has a shoppe. That's impressive work but her words point out an easily forgotten truth. It's the little things. 

Our lives are made up of days. How we choose to live our days turns into how we live our lives. We see the overall vision for life in the Bible; it's not a secret. But the details will be different because God doesn't stamp people out factory style. He designs each person individually. My work today will be different from your work today. 

But each day we both get to choose. What kind of brush stroke will we put on the painting? Will I pick the right colors?  Will I put on strength and honor as my clothes? Will I be virtuous, prayerful, careful with my words? Will I bend my will- surrender- to the things in life I didn't expect? Does Jesus have full control over my life today? 

I get to choose where the brush stroke goes. This is a time of laying on the broad underlayers of colors. It's necessary- the painting won't be complete without it- but it's nothing fancy. 

Today I do all the unseen things. I clean up accidents and spills. I cook dinner. I run errands. I do the reading lesson and push the swings. I welcome my husband home and celebrate his work. I work on memorizing a piano piece.  I write my 500 words. I draw today's sketch. I pour the Bible into my heart and mind. I run and do yoga. Nothing big. Nothing flashy. But all important. 

Because what will life be if I don't cook dinner and teach my children? How will my writing read in five years if I don't write the words today? What will be left to celebrate in my marriage if I don't nurture it now? Do your work with the future in mind. 

These are the things that add up my children's faith, character, and education. The training they receive now will shape the adults they become. Necessary though often tedious. Ordinary and yet split through with glory. The little moments that make me want to pull out my hair are changing my children's lives. The words that I write today in Evernote and in my notebook are going to turn into blog posts and podcast episodes. It all adds up over time. 

Today matters for today. Pick well. If you go to bed exhausted tonight go to bed exhausted from pouring yourself into your work. 

Today matters for the future. Consider the future as you make your choices today. Today shapes tomorrow. 

What God's Work and Breakfast Have in Common

During one of my morning runs (you know, back when I was doing that thing) I was watching the fog roll across the mountains and thinking about our Sunday School lessons. We were learning about who God is and we started with God the Creator. He made everything and He holds it all together. He inhabits eternity and gives life and breath to all things (Acts 17:25).

I started thinking about how He makes the sun rise every morning. He puts the fog in the air. He makes the baby birds chirp. He makes the seasons rotate- spring, summer, fall, winter without fail just as He promised after the flood (Genesis 8:22). He made each valley and each mountain. He paints every single flower with color. 

Parts of God's work are as routine as ours. We get up each morning and spend time with Him. We get dressed, make the beds, make the breakfast, clean up the spills, apologize for messing up, forgive others, cook lunch, fold the laundry, change the diapers, take little boys to the potty, push the swings, practice the same piano chords, sit at the keyboard and write again, kiss the husband welcome home, give the baths, tuck children in bed. Then later we collapse into bed and get up to do it all over again. And again. And again. 

Just like God does. The God who gives breath to our bodies and air to our lungs does it with every breath. The same God pumps blood with our hearts and fills the world with sunshine every day. He sends the rain and makes the grass grow. His work is infinite. It's universal and breathtaking.  But He also does what seems to be mundane by repetition.  The beautiful peonies that bloom for such a short time- all that effort and labor for something no one may see or appreciate and yet they are gorgeous. The sunsets are painted in stunning color every single night. Most people don't even notice but they are always there. The stars that twinkle- that's just the few we can see. They spread out in a vastness that's hard for us to understand. There are wonders in the galaxy that no human will ever see and yet God made them. God sustains them. 

Why do we expect our work to be any different? We also have a work and it's often repetitive. It feels ordinary. Our wild hearts crave adventure and applause and fame instead of desiring faithfulness to making our world beautiful and sustaining the part of the work that we are to do. 

That breakfast we cheerfully offer every morning because bellies are hungry. That diaper we change with the giggle and game for the precious little boy heart. The hello kiss we save for the husband who has labored in his own part of the work that day. Do they not all beautify our world regardless of how ordinary they seem? 

Over and over, seemingly on repeat, we serve with work that's not noticed, not applauded. We should do that work with faithfulness and a desire for excellence. God doesn't skimp on those flowers even though He makes so many and has for so many years. They are all individual works of art. That's how I want to approach my day: as an individual work of art. What am I putting into today? 

Our work is a pale shadow of what God does. It's not beneath us to plug away at the ordinary. It's a fulfillment of our being. 

Our Family Motto- At Least for Accidents

Someone accidentally dumps his cheerios at snacktime. The cup gets knocked off the table at lunch. The toy tower gets kicked over again. We change dinner time because Justin has to work late. We change clothes and run lunch out to him at work. 

Life doesn't always ever go just as we'd like. 

When it doesn't- whether because of accidents or changes in plans- we're trying to teach the boys to respond with "No big deal." 

No big deal that we're sweeping up cheerios again. 

No big deal that we're retying the shoes. 

No big deal that we were planning on reading and now we need to give the baby a bath first because he had a blowout. 

No big deal that we need to pick up what we dropped when we walked down the hallway. 

I want to teach them that most things are just no big deal. They might not be what we expected or wanted. We might be tired of doing that particular thing. We might be frustrated at doing something again. We may want to be upset with someone who inconvenienced us. But instead we're going to take a deep breath and say, "No big deal." Because really- it's not. 

None of those things matter and we can control how we act about things. We need to consider how we make others feel by our actions or reactions. We need to make ourselves enjoyable for others to be around even when things aren't going the way we would like. (We all know those people that are difficult to be around unless everything goes just their way.) So we say "No big deal." 

This seems to take a lot of work to teach. But we keep going over and over how we want to respond to accidents and inconveniences. 

It often takes me longer to grasp concepts than it does the children. I get tired of the monotony some days. I don't want to clean up another accident or sweep up the cheerios or change the shirt because someone spilled spaghetti sauce on it at lunch. I never knew how much grace and patience I was lacking until it was tried every day. It's easy to think that you are patient and kind when you are surrounded by adults who mostly treat you in a mature way. It's more difficult with little people who act like little people. Little people who don't know how they are supposed to act and are sometimes slower at learning it than we would like. 

So I'm learning to say "no big deal" and do with a cheerful heart. To do it with actions that back up the words and give them the peace to own "no big deal" for themselves. If you say "no big deal" to the little things then you save your energy for the things that are a big deal. That's really a better place for it, don't you think? 

When I Was Scared of Flunking Out of College

I made a 76 on my first test in college. It was in health. You know that class everyone has to take and you mostly talk about STD's? Yeah, that one. Maybe you don't think that's a terrible grade but I was valedictorian of my high school class (out of 13 people, it doesn't go to my head) and a 76 was a life sentence to possibly flunking out. Every semester after going to each class and scoping out the teachers and syllabi I spent the next week freaking out that this was going to be the semester that I flunked out of college. 

My husband still teases me about that. 

I didn't flunk out of college. I had learned enough by then to know that I couldn't let the possibility of failure stop me from trying. Just because I worried that I was going to flunk out of college did not mean that I should quit college to avoid the embarrassment. You will do nothing with your life if your sole goal is to avoid all embarrassment and failure. 

The desire to prevent ourselves from being hurt could rob of us of many opportunities and blessings in life. We could not get married because our spouse might leave, cheat, or die. We could not have kids because they might become ill or grow up and break our hearts. We could not go to college just in case we can't cut it once we are there. We could not truly give ourselves to the work God has put before us so that if we fail we can say, "Well, I didn't really try" as if that's a good excuse. 

Sometimes you have to step out in faith. Faith that you can do the work in college or that you can get the remediation that you need. Faith that God will sustain your marriage or sustain you through it. Faith that God will equip you for the work and that failure might be the catalyst for growth that you need. 

That one week every semester that I spent worried about flunking out of college was not wasted- although it was silly. It was excellent motivation for me to do my best work: to go to class, participate, take notes, do the homework, and get the grades. Fear doesn't have to be wasted but it shouldn't control you. Fear used wisely can help you guard your marriage, commit the people in your life to God, and seek His will for every path in front of you. 

Fear, like all emotions, can serve you well but makes a poor master. 

Maybe you feel fear at whatever you are facing. That's not unusual. There are several things in my own life presently that make me think, "Who do I think I am?" The point isn't that I feel "legitimate." The point is that I am following God. 

God is not intimidated by your problem or concerned by what you don't know. He does, after all, know all. God is not worried that you will make a mistake and ruin His plan. Step out into what you know He wants you to do. 

Don't let fear be your master. 

And if you're going back to school, go to class.