Our Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies

My favorite thing to do with cookie dough isn't to bake cookies. It's to eat it. Raw, preferably after thawing for a few moments because it's just better after it's been frozen. This practice is enough to make my husband gag since he's not into any form of raw dough. I've introduced our boys to bread dough (no egg since they break out) and he shudders at that too. 

These baked cookies are his favorite though. He loves to come home and see them cooling on the pan. Kevin's always there to beg a bite too, as if he's not eaten any. 

 

Here's to cookies! Make them all and share with someone. Or make a pan, roll the rest of the dough into balls, and freeze for later. The toasted pecans are my favorite part but Justin doesn't like them. Also- I've never tried to freeze the dough with nuts. I wouldn't think it would be a problem but you let me know if you try it. 

(This did some from an old cookbook of my mama's. We've made it for years.)

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup chopped pecans, toasted
12 oz. semisweet chocolate chips
other additions of your choice (white chocolate chips, m&m's, candy bar chunks, etc.)

To toast pecans, melt one tablespoon butter in an oven-safe dish and add chopped pecans. Bake at 400 degrees for 8-10 minutes, stirring two or three times. You should start to smell a heavenly aroma. (You can also do this on the stovetop in a dry pan for a shorter amount of time but what's the fun in that?)

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt. 

In a large bowl with an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugars.

Beat in eggs and vanilla until just combined. 

Add flour mixture in thirds and mix well after each addition. 

Stir in toasted pecans and chocolate chips. 

Drop dough by rounded tablespoons two inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. 

Bake for 15-18 minutes or until golden. 

Transfer to wire rack to cool. 

Then you eat them. It'll brighten up your Monday. 

Cleaning Your House Doesn't Make You a Bad Mom

There's a new thing going around nowadays. It's called my-house-is-a-disaster-so-I'm-a-good-mom. And of course the caveat is that if you clean your house you are a bad mom because you should be spending that time with your children. Hence the popular quote, "Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids." 

Can we have some balance here? I prefer not to live in a pig-pen. I prefer to teach my children about order. God is a God of order after all. Please note the meticulous detail He provided about the building of the tabernacle for one example. God committed the care of our homes to us (Proverbs 31:27, Titus 2:5) It's not a role that we can just shove off because we don't want to do the work. Or we haven't taught ourselves about scheduling. Or we don't know how to clean. When you don't know something you can't just write it off as unimportant. You need to find someone to teach you. 

(I think we have forgotten that people have to learn. We come into life ignorant. Some other person taught us everything we know. Cut people a break and start teaching with your life and your words. Be available to get involved with people and teach them something you know how to do.)

I clean my house because I don't want to live in filth. I clean my house because I believe children learn better in places of order and schedule (there's research to back this up too). I clean my house because God told me to care for my home. I clean our home because I want to teach my children to work and they help me. I clean our home because I want to be able to open our home to others without being deathly embarrassed. I clean our home because our little world is to be a reflection of God's world. I clean our home because my children don't need me to entertain them 24/7. 

You can be a good mom and have a clean house. Of course I don't mean that your house is spotless and the laundry baskets are always empty. These little people take up hoards of time. But the work can be done. They can do it with you and it's good for them to do so. There's usually dust under our couch, probably some random toys too. I sweep our kitchen multiple times a day and there's always crumbs under the table. Sometimes a load of laundry stays in the dryer overnight. But the health department wouldn't shut us down. 

1. Have a cleaning routine. Knowing what you should do is half the battle. It removes the mental exertion from cleaning. If you know you *always* (see number three) clean the kitchen on Mondays then on Monday you clean the kitchen. 

2. Let your children help you. Give them a dusting cloth or a wet rag. Let them help you clean out the tub and dust the bottom shelves. Let them move chairs to mop and pick up toys to vacuum. Let them dance and chase each other to the noise of the vacuum cleaner. 

3. Be flexible. You'll run into days when cleaning doesn't get done. That's ok. When the cleaning is a habit and the house gets cleaned well most weeks when you miss one it's nothing major. Move things to different days. Know the "short route" to cleaning when life is super busy. Know what can be "not done" and the place still look presentable. 

4. Have certain things you do everyday. We pick up toys before we move onto the next thing. (At least we do normally and I always regret it when we don't.) I go to bed with a clean kitchen because nothing makes me feel further behind in the morning than a dirty kitchen. Wash/dry/fold/put away a load of clothes every day. Make your bed every morning. 

There are ways to clean and mother in some sort of equilibrium. You are not a bad mom if your home is not a disaster. And of course, a clean house does not mean you are a good mother either. Motherhood is so much more than the physical appearance of your home. But your home does matter. 

Creative Homemaking- 3 Reasons Home Matters

When you read Genesis 1 and 2, you read about God the Creator. Creating isn't something that man came up with; it's how man got here. God created us with His words. And He didn't just create man. He also created a place for man to live. 

As a mom, I've brought three boys into the world. That's not enough for my job as mother. I need to create a place for this family. If I didn't have children I would still be responsible for making a place; all people need their own place. God did the same thing when He created the Garden of Eden. This work of homemaking is no little thing. It's the very next work that God does after creating Adam; He made him a place.

I realize that our world places little value on the family and home but we are to have God's priorities, not the world's. People need someone to care for them and to care for their place. God has appointed that role to women. (I'm not here to discuss working moms versus at-home moms or anything of the like. We all feel responsibility for our people and our place regardless of our other responsibilities.) 

When I read Genesis 2 I noticed three specific things about the place God created. 

1. It was beautiful and useful. (Genesis 2:9) There is research about how much better children do in ordered, structured environments. Order is a large part of beauty. Nothing is beautiful thrown into piles or covered with dirt. Disorder dulls usefulness too. I teach my children to pick up their toys but I do put all the books back on the bookshelves for one reason. The books are in the same order. The boys know where they are and they can go get the book they want. If we throw books onto the shelf no one will even use them.

I also want my home to be beautiful. I don't mean magazine-spread beautiful; that's not my area of expertise. Some people are gifted in that area and you can learn from them! I love to view their homes and get ideas. Work on making your home a place of comfort for your family. 

2. Man had a job. (Genesis 2:15) Everyone needs a place of belonging and usefulness. I was sick a few weeks ago and while my husband did an extraordinary job keeping things going it's not the same. And you know what? That makes me feel good; I want to be needed by my family. 

I can't do the work that my husband does for our family. Our boys cannot fill each other's place. Embrace your place in your family. (See Ephesians 5 and 6 for more on the family.) Give your children a place in the family. Teach them to work and contribute to the family good. I tell my kids all the time that we are a family and a team: that means we work together to help each other grow and learn. We need each other with all of our differences. 

3. There were clearly-defined rules. (Genesis 2:16-17). The rules weren't many; actually there was just one. Children will be overwhelmed by many rules but there should be rules. There were also clearly-stated consequences. Children should know the consequences and they should be applicable in every situation. Set your family rules and stand on them.  

(Let's please also note that God's rule was broken. We're insane if we expect our children to never break our rules. Apply the consequences and go on.)

The work of homemaking is a creating work. It's the first rule of people: have a place for them. We are creating an atmosphere in our homes that will affect our children for the rest of their lives. We are creating a home that will nurture or destroy our marriages. This creating work is important and it's up to us. 

Postpartum Nesting: Organizing Your Closet

Everybody tells you about nesting- that urge to clean and tidy and reorganize when you are nearing the end of your pregnancy. The whole, "I'm making a spot for this baby." Everyone jokes when you start cleaning that you must be getting close to having that baby. (Not true, I do most of that about 30 weeks along.)

 But what nobody tells you about is postpartum nesting. Maybe that's because you don't do it on the first baby. Or at least I didn't.  But I definitely have on the third. 

This is not to be confused with holiday cleaning or any kind of cleaning actually. I've not really done any extra cleaning.  (Just look at that shelf! I could have at least wiped it off.) But closet rearranging? Yes, please! And kitchen cupboard organizing? All the the time. Let's rearrange and beautify and just luxuriate in how good it feels. (I never said I wasn't strange.)

One of the first areas I tackled was our master bedroom closet. We use it every day, of course, and there's quite a bit going on in there. We store some things, like my sewing machine, and then all of mine and Justin's nice clothes are in there. (And by nice I mean non-workout clothes.) There are a few things I did to our bedroom closet to make it look more "department storeish."

1. Get rid of the extra hangers. Extra hangers aren't pretty. They moved to our laundry room closet. This is also helpful when getting clothes out of the dryer. Just hang them up there and carry them to the bedroom. 

2. Keep underwear/bras/hose/etc in baskets or pretty boxes. I saw an awesome pin that had baskets attached to the wall for this purpose. I'm definitely going to try it. 

3. Stack the sweaters with the folded sides out. So much smoother and ordered. 

4. Store sheets folded up inside one of the pillowcases. The whole set is always together and they are less likely to fall off the shelf. 

5. Restore to order. Laundry baskets on one side. Designated place for the purse. Shoes organized on shoe rack. Sweatshirts folded on shelf. Before I had children I hung up my clothes by clothing type. Tanks, then short sleeve shirts, then long sleeve shirts, then jackets, etc. But now I must admit I just shove them in a spot and go with it. I liked the other way better. I might have to switch back.

There are a lot more things I could have done if I had been willing to spend some money on it. But I wasn't. I took a couple of hours one morning and worked with what I had. As the Nester says, "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."  And to me at least, it's beautiful; and it's my closet.  

Do you prettify your closet? I love to have places look pretty, especially ones I use everyday. It makes me smile when I open the doors and see it! 

What does this postpartum nesting signify? Anybody else done it? 

Center Your Day Around Jesus

Some days just don't go the way we would like for them too. Things (like our attitudes) can seem wrong from the moment we wake up and our feet hit the floor. I know I have spent some of those days flailing and grasping for anything that could help me redeem the day and refocus my heart. Most of the time I take a few minutes to review all the things I have to be thankful for. The below picture is a collage that I made a few years ago when I was having one such day. (Note the cute baby adorableness. Children growing up is fun but so bittersweet.)

But an important principle I have been studying helped me even more. I am supposed to center my day around Jesus. Not around what I wish my reality were or what I want my day to look like. Not around naptime or my husband coming home or drinking Dr. Pepper or anything else I might look forward to. Not around checking everything off my list or my perfect vision of home. 

So many different frustrations can throw off our day. A lack of sleep caused by a new baby (or a toddler!), a late start to the morning, potty-training accidents, unexpected news, or scheduling changes can often change what we planned for our day. But I remember. 

...and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;       Hebrews 12:1b-2a

It's about Jesus. It's not about me or what I want. It's not about my expectations for the day; the race is already set before me. Jesus has mapped out my day. I need to look to Him for strength and grace for my race. It can be a race today because all today needs is today's energy. I don't have to worry about tomorrow. I don't have to worry about getting up and doing this same stuff over time after time.  I just need to be faithful today. 

Our preacher has taught us that patience is "cheerful and hopeful enduring." God's working in me. God's working in my kids. I am not to run impatiently or in frustration. I don't have to finish today. I won't finish until I go home with Jesus. 

I read somewhere that I shouldn't complain about the service God has called me to until I have done as much as Jesus did on the cross. That really stuck with me. I'm not to compare myself to what my husband or my neighbor or anybody else is doing, just what Jesus did.  That means I should never complain. I will never give as much of myself or give up as many of my own desires as Jesus did when He died for me.  

So how can I center my day around Jesus? Here are a few things that help me. 

1. Start your day with Jesus. Read your Bible and pray. Ask God for His help. And yes, this is frequently interrupted by small children. Relax your expectations. Do as much as you can and carry a verse with you. God knows your heart. 

2. Know what's most important. We've recently narrowed our parenting goals down to two concepts. Can you pinpoint exactly what you are supposed to be doing right now? Knowing that relieves some of the pressure because you can shrug off the things that can easily wait until tomorrow. 

3. Release control. This is a mental effort. Actually all of these are. So many of the battles in our lives are mental. That's why we are to bring "into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." (2 Cor. 10:5) This is Jesus' day. His plans matter, not yours. Give it to Him.

4. Give yourself grace. A lot of times the things that stress me out are expectations I've imposed on myself. I must read x number of books with the boys to be a good mom. I must complete x amount of work around the house to be a good homemaker. I can't give you a verse for those things and while they are good occasionally I need to throw them all out the window.  God's plans for my day may not involve any of my checklist! 

5. Repeat. I have to constantly remind myself to stay focused on Jesus. Everyday is about Jesus.  

Jesus can help me to walk through each part of my day with His grace.  Through the expected, the unexpected, the unpleasant, and the exciting. I don't have to wait for some thing to happen for me to have a good day and then be disturbed or upset if it doesn't happen.  Jesus is enough.  (But a Dr. Pepper never hurts either!)

Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. Psalm 16:11 (emphasis mine)

The Problems with Being Impressive

As women, it's not easy to choose to be vulnerable. It's not easy to choose to invite those people over instead of worrying what they will think of the house. It's not easy to offer the dinner invitation because they might not like the food. It's not easy to reach out to people because we can't control their reaction to us or what we can offer. 

As a woman, I know that we want to appear competent to other women especially. We seem to have our own special code that excludes men that we use to judge ourselves and other women.  "I abide by these standards and convictions. I (do or do not) work an outside job. My home is always immaculate. My hair is never out of place." These lists always- and only- highlight the ugly sin of pride. Truthfully we don't have anything to offer in ourselves. There is nothing impressive about any of us. And that's the point; God wants to get the glory for all that is done through our lives. 

Impressing other leads us away from our priorities. It's easy to let go of the important things because they are not valued by society. We leave our small children to go work a job (I know, this is not always wrong, but often our motive is.) Our society does not value the work of a mother, or a father for that matter. My children, and this work God has given me, are important because He says so. 

We would spend extra time cleaning our home to impress another woman instead of resting so that our spirit could better reflect Christ. Our home is clean, but it's lived in. It's not a museum to impress people; it's a home where our family grows. And sometimes that rest is necessary for my spirit to best reflect Christ. But taking a short nap doesn't display the best "busy-ness" that "Oh, I haven't sat down in hours in preparation for your coming" does. 

We skip our Bible reading for about anything because who really thinks we are impressive for being women of the Word? And yet, there is nothing more important for success at this work we are called to than being faithful to the Scripture. (Josh. 1:8)

Impressing others does not emphasize Jesus. We want to control our image; we want other to view us with admiration. What about Jesus? What about desiring for Him to be glorified in our lives? All that focus on me does not push others toward Jesus with my life. Yes, we prepare for our work. Yes, we schedule our rhythms and adjust our day to the demands. But why don't we quit pretending that we are perfect? Quit pretending we have it all together and point to Jesus. Jesus is what makes anything work. I am nothing special. My rhythms, my work habits, nothing about me is special. It's all based on principles of God's Word and God can work that same transformation for you (and it will probably look different). I want my life to point others to Christ, not to myself. 

I want to be a blessing to others instead of trying to impress them. That might mean opening my home when it's not perfect. After all, her home isn't either and that might be encouraging. It might mean taking a meal that's not 100% homemade or organic. I might drop by with pizza or a frozen casserole, or a gift card.  It might mean I share a book title that's been helping me through some questions instead of pretending that I have all the answers. It might mean I offer openness and acceptance even if I don't feel accepted or liked. 

When we take our eyes off ourselves we can see others. We can see their needs, their insecurities, or at least know they are there regardless of what cloak they try to hide them behind. We can look through the eyes of Jesus. We can lose our pride, our snobbishness, our self-centeredness, and offer what we have been blessed with instead of withholding it out of fear. 

May we lose sight of ourselves and focus on Jesus. And through Him, really see the other people in our lives. 

Welcoming Fall!

It's well into September, folks! (Just in case you hadn't noticed.)  We seem to have finally hit some fall weather and it's beautiful, although I must ask where the sun went. It seems we haven't seen it in a week! But with cold weather approaching, school starting, and schedules changing, it seems time to talk about tweaking our home life a little. Just for kicks I thought I'd start off with some of my...

Favorite Fall Things: 

-sweaters

-boots

-apple pie

-falling leaves

-football

-soup and homemade bread

-crisp morning air

-Missions Conference

-oh, and this year we're having a baby! See? I'm really not making it up!  (31 weeks!)

Adjusting to Fall: 

1. Schedule changes. Homeschool co-op has started and the boys are really enjoying it! It's a fun afternoon for them once a week and gym should come in handy for burning off some extra energy. We're going to move some of our indoor work to the evening hours when we have to be inside to make the most of the daylight hours. Justin's back in class, teaching and taking them and preschool is back in "full swing." Or at least as much as I feel any four-year-old needs "full swing" education. 

2. Activities. I've kept some games and the playdough put up most of the summer so that the boys will have new things to do this fall and winter as it's getting colder and dark earlier. I've also kept a cardboard box with a puppet window for this season. Of course we'll tromp through the leaves, go on more walks, watch some local college football games, bake pies, and hopefully visit the pumpkin patch! And I'm on the lookout for some plastic bowling pins for the boys to do some hallway bowling. Anybody seen any? 

3. Counting blessings! As much as I don't like the dark evenings there are some great things about them! Justin doesn't have to mow and we will love the extra time with him! And don't forget it's time to break out the hot chocolate! And as for the darkness, turn on some lights and play some fun music. The sunshine is really supposed to come from within, right? 

What are your favorite fall things? 

Pursuing Daily Excellence

I love to eat out. We don't eat out often because of the dietary restrictions of our family (plus that pesky thing called money) but when we do I want something I know will be yummy and preferably that I wouldn't make for myself. This usually means I don't try tons of new things- how do I know it will be good? I don't want to waste the experience. (And yes, I realize this means I miss out on some things; I'm working on it.)

It also brings us to a reality about business. A restaurant has to provide quality service if they want my repeat business. I'm not going to go to a restaurant that serves excellent food two days a week and mediocre food the rest of the time. Are you?

No one is going to do that. That's why businesses that succeed don't use that model. They don't say, "People might expect a high standard of excellence from us every day and we don't want that kind of pressure. We don't feel like performing at that level daily." Well, fine then, don't; but don't expect to have a business for long either.

I've noticed that people have no problem bringing that attitude to their home though. It doesn't bother them at all to say that they aren't going to serve or even spoil their family because they might expect that kind of treatment all the time. It doesn't bother them to say that the expectations are too high and they aren't even going to try to live up to them.

If I were a doctor (a profession I considered for some time in high school) I would go to work every day ready to give my all. Why? Because I would believe that my work mattered. Because I had promised to do my work to the best of my ability regardless of how I felt about it that day. I've reminded myself of that multiple times this past week. It's a good kick-in-the-pants about the attitude I carry into my work here in our home. I wouldn't complain about the workload. Of course there's a workload! I'm a doctor, not a greeter at Wal-Mart. It would be a position of prestige and a lot of routine hard work. Do I really believe less about my role in the home?

Our actions and our attitudes show exactly what we believe. It doesn't really matter what our words are if they contradict what we are doing. We show everyone what we think about our family and our work at home by what we do and how we do it. What is my attitude as I go about my work? Do I whine to everyone about how annoying my kids are and how the house always gets dirty right after I clean and my husband is working late again?

Sometimes what we do is comfortable. We are used to it; it doesn't require any effort. But I'm finding that another word for comfortable is mediocre. Comfortable work is usually mediocre work. We're not growing. We're not pursuing excellence. We're not learning new things and trying better ways to make things work for our families. We're just coasting because anything else would be- you guessed it- a lot of work!  I'm not really interested in living a mediocre life doing mediocre work especially for something as important as my family.

Excellence may mean stepping outside your comfort zone. Be a little uncomfortable in how you do your work; that's called learning.  I don't mean uncomfortable to be unsure if it's morally right. I mean uncomfortable to be that you can't do it on automatic. You have to really put some mental effort into what you are doing (like when you are learning a new song on the piano). And yes, this may make you extra tired. It won't hurt you. Try something new with homeschooling. Read some books about how children learn. Try a new cleaning schedule; teach your children to clean.

Excellence may mean being different from others. The complainers and the critics are everywhere. The miserable, grouchy women are everywhere. Find that joy in Jesus and be different. Show that you value your family and your work by your attitude.

Excellence may mean doing things that are difficult for you. It may mean speaking calmly to your children during correction and training when you want to scream. It may mean not rolling your eyes at your husband. It may mean disciplining yourself to get out of bed and get off the couch and do the work.

Excellence may mean doing things that you don't want to do. This past week I've done things every single day that I didn't want to do: things like cook dinner. And you know what? I'm still alive; it didn't hurt me at all. Instead I honored God with my obedience. I blessed my family because they really do have to eat.  And I helped my character; no one needs to spend their life doing only what they want. Do what you are supposed to.

Maybe imaging the attitude you would bring if you were a doctor doesn't help you. But something does. What is it? How can you push yourself to seek that excellence in your home life? Don't worry about my quest for excellence. What my family needs may be totally different from what your family needs. Find what your family needs and pursue it with excellence. Day in and day out, regardless of how you feel about it.

Families Are Work; Work Is Good. (Or 3 Thoughts for Hard Days)

I think I've mentioned before, like maybe here and here, that some days are hard. And also that hard days are ok. Sometimes on those hard days we need the encouragement that what we are doing matters. That the hard is accomplishing something in the lives of our families.

So what do we do on those hard days?

1. Pray like it's your lifeline. Because it is. God really can help you in practical ways. We want to make Him spiritual and spooky but He's practical and real. And although "Help me, Lord!" works here are some prayer ideas if you are drawing a blank. Pray for a cheerful attitude, a thankful heart, and wisdom and patience for different situations and people.

2. Depend on truth. I wrote one day a few weeks ago that I "buried myself in truth" during quiet time. I can assure you that I needed it. Obviously the best place to find truth is in the Bible. And here are some posts where I've written out some truths I'm learning in my life.
-God loves you
-God is your helper
-Your relationship with God is the most important part
-Obedience is the goal

3. Remember it's a season. Whatever season you are in, it will pass. The children will grow up. The sickness will ease; the job circumstances will change. And if by some chance it doesn't end here, heaven is much longer than our lives.

To leave you with more eloquent words,

How precious a thing is the human family. Is it not worth some sacrifice in time, energy, safety, discomfort, work? Does anything come forth without work?... Somebody has to get up early, stay up late, do more than the others, if the human garden is to be a thing of beauty.  Edith Schaeffer in "What Is A Family?" 

And then in another passage she says, "love has work to do." And I don't know about you but around here love has plenty of work to do. There are diapers to be changed, clothes to wash, supper to cook, little boys to read to, and playing to be done outside. Let's get to work and let's do it with love.

Every Time Except For When I Don't

I'm a big fan of making the beds. As in, I make the bed every single day. 

At least every single day except for the rare occasions when I don't on purpose. 

Because sometimes on the weekends, we all pile in the bed when the boys get up and pretend to sleep, read books, play games, and occasionally watch Mickey on the iPad. 

And then sometimes we take cars up there in the afternoon and get in the "tent." Micah is obsessed with tents. 

And that's more important than how pretty a made bed is some days. 

Homes are for living in, not for showing off. 

Faithful, Cheerful Service

*reposted from the archives

Ever tried to impress somebody with how tired you are and how much you have to do? You know the whole, "I'm up all night with babies. Someone is constantly dirtying my house as I clean and I just keep slaving away. Nobody appreciates me. I never get to go on vacation....." That whole routine? I'll admit that I've done it. And I'm really bad for doing this to my husband. I must want him to notice exactly how miserable I am! Oh wait, but I'm not miserable! So why do I do that? 

1. I'm insecure in what God called me to do. I want to be sure others realize that being a wife and mom is a full-time job too. And aren't people supposed to complain about their job? 
2. I'm trying to impress people. (Twisted thinking: who's impressed by whining?)People-pleasing never gets you where God wants you to go. I am working for God's smile, not man's approval. 
3. I've fallen into worldly thinking that says I must be miserable if life is not all about me and whatI want. 

Last time I checked nobody liked a complainer, especially God! (1 Cor. 10:10, Phil. 2:14-15) So I decided to shut up! (Or at least try to!)

And you know what I found? I'm the one that benefits! Yes, in an attempt to please God and stop discouraging my husband by constantly reminding him how hard my life is, I have found more joy. (And yes, it does discourage my husband. His goal is to have a happy wife.)

"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." Proverbs 15:13. The last half of verse 15 also states, "but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast." What's in my heart? I've been studying a lot about how my heart affects my words and it's scary to think how much I reveal about myself with what I say! Do I have a heart for God and the work He has given me? 

So what is my new goal? Faithful, cheerful service! Here's some steps I'm taking to work on this. 

1. I don't constantly talk about how tired I am. And somehow I think I'm less tired too. I tell God about it and ask for help. I want others to see that God's plan works and it doesn't mean misery. What a great testimony to always tell people what a drudgery your life serving God is! NOT! 
2. I tell my husband how much I LOVE getting to stay home with our babies and take care of him and our home. I want him to know that I appreciate the opportunity and I love my life. Because I really do. 
3. I remind myself frequently that I am working for God's approval. If no one else ever notices anything I do or if no one else thinks anything I do is important, it doesn't matter. God says it's important and He notices everything. Because I of that I can keep going....cheerfully! My hope and my joy are found in God, not vacations, money, or applause.

Make your work look easy, even when it's not. -Beverly Hyles

Homemaking Dreams

*reposted from the archives

My boys and I go on a walk almost every morning we are home from April to about October. It's gorgeous out and it helps deplete some of that almost-three-year-old-energy. We walk down our road, around the corner, and back to a cemetery. (We've lived by cemeteries since we've been married. Glad I'm not superstitious.) On the way back to the cemetery we pass a gorgeous old white house. I love houses, especially old ones, and I've always been intrigued by this one. 

This week an older woman was there when we went by. She stopped us so that she could look at Kevin- who was sound asleep in the baby wrap- and we started talking about the house. She said that at one point it was a bed and breakfast. Now I've always loved the idea of a bed and breakfast; I think it would be thrilling to own one someday. When we got back home I was daydreaming about creating a beautiful space for others to relax and recharge and cooking them delicious food. And I realized something.

I already do that. 

People go to a bed and breakfast for a home away from home. You are essentially a homemaker for other people on a short basis. Now with a business you are recognized as a business owner. You get rewards and accolades (and some bad reviews).  But in essence it would be the same thing I am doing now with my family.

Photo Courtesy of Matt Banks/freedigitalphotos.net 

I may not have paying customers but there's nobody in the world that I love like my family. It might not bring in income but hopefully it will show results in our children's lives for years to come. I get to live my dream every day and I want to approach my work with the same enthusiasm that I was picturing pouring into a bed and breakfast. Make it beautiful, comfortable, comforting. 

Of course there is much more to it than the simple work. There's no intrinsic value of homemaking above anything else. We could have someone else cook, clean, change diapers, run errands, do laundry, etc. The spiritual aspect of homemaking is what elevates it to God's call on my life. Homemaking is nothing unless my husband and children are pointed to Christ by my work. Unless they serve Him more because I'm here.

The goal is that my presence in my home frees up my husband's time and energy to complete his work and serve at church. My presence in our home allows me the opportunity to teach and train our children. My management should save my husband's money so that we have more to give to church and missions. Our home should be a place where my family can recharge and be pointed to Jesus. 

If we have an atmosphere in our home that points to Jesus I will have to set it. That means my most important priority is my relationship with God. To properly serve God at home I must draw close to Him every day. I am nothing without Jesus and I cannot fulfill my purpose without Jesus. 

This means that the relationships in my home are more important than task lists. Being a cheerful wife is more important than ironed shirts. Consistent discipline of my children is more important than daily chores. Creating memories and managing our home atmosphere is more important than grocery shopping and running errands. Teaching toddlers is more important than doing laundry. Obviously, I believe those other things are important. We love a clean house to live in, clean clothes to wear. We have to cook and go grocery shopping. But I have to remember that those are just means to an end to what I'm really trying to accomplish. 

So when I get discouraged I'm going to remember my bed and breakfast dream. And then I'm going to remember that I'm living it right now. 

Getting Your Work Done, Part 2

I've still been thinking about how to get your work done. Work is never-ending and time management can be a problem, especially for people who work for themselves. (And stay at home moms do. Nobody is standing around making sure I'm doing my work!) So a few more pointers. 

photo courtesy of franky242/freedigitalphotos.net

1. Don't sit down.  I've been thinking about things that help me get my work done and one thing I've noticed is that I don't sit down. I don't mean that literally. What I really mean is that I sit with a purpose. When I sit down I am sitting to do something. I am sitting to practice piano. I am sitting to read to the boys or play with them. I am sitting during quiet time to write. I am sitting because I set aside that time to rest. I am sitting to eat. Do you see what I mean? I'm not sitting on the couch when I need to be cooking dinner. I'm not sitting and watching tv when I need to playing with my children. Stay moving. 

2. Challenge yourself to just "one more thing." If you just keep moving you can get so much more done. Think "one more thing." You can always do just one more thing. Write those 500 words, read that book to your baby, fold a load of laundry.  Or set a timer and work for ten or fifteen minutes.

3. Write stuff down. I love a list. And I really like crossing things off the list. So I make a list.  I don't list many of my daily things, like practicing piano (although I do track it) or getting ready for the day or reading my Bible. I would write down daily things that I was struggling with doing consistently. 

 I write down the days we are doing preschool, the cleaning for the day (it's so big that it's nice to cross off and it changes daily), if we have any errands, if I am doing something for someone outside our family, etc. A list will help keep you focused. Maybe you do need to write down three important things. If you are having problems spending time with your kids, put it on your list. Or keep track of it every day. Maybe you need to put "cook dinner" on your list if you are struggling with that. Find where you need to focus and make your list help you. 

4. Plan ahead and prepare. For example, a few weeks ago we were going to clean the church at 4:30. Justin was going to meet us there when he got off work. So during quiet time I thawed and seasoned my meat, and formed hamburgers. I peeled and cut up potatoes for fries and left them sitting in cold water.  And I cooked the bacon for our burgers. That way when we got home I could just turn on pans and put the food in.  No stressing about how long it was going to take or debating stopping for food on the way home. The hard work was already done.

Fix the diaper bag the night before. Pick out everyone's clothes the night before. Lay out the preschool work before you need it. Prepare: most of the time you know what you are going to be doing. 

5. And one last note. All the work will never be done. Never! Just yesterday, we got a crazy amount of work done. And while I was cooking dinner and playing with the boys I kept seeing things that needed done. And I just overlooked them. I am one person. The work will still be there tomorrow. 

Don't worry about finishing your list or having the perfect house. Just do what honors God and blesses your family. And remember, "only God gets His to-do list done." 

How Our Home Is and Is Not Like a Bed and Breakfast

We all know about my bed and breakfast obsession. I love the whole concept: they are tiny and cozy and intimate.  Justin and I actually stayed at one a few months ago because the man understands me. We snuck off to Gatlinburg for a night for a little mini-vacation and stayed at Eight Gables Inn. It was beautiful, even in January. 

While I was there I took notes (in my mind, didn't want to be a creeper) of things that they did that made it successful; it's a highly-rated bed and breakfast. I found some ways that our home is like a bed and breakfast. I also found some other ways it's definitely not! 

How we're similar:
Our home is personal, just like a bed and breakfast. All we serve is is our family and a few others that come into our home. A bed and breakfast might serve 10-25 people a night, not hundreds or thousands. 

Our home is beautiful. Not the same kind of beauty as a bed and breakfast but still beautiful. 

Our home is welcoming. We were greeted at the door and shown around the grounds when we got there. They opened and closed doors and tried to foresee your every need.  I also try to have a welcoming spirit at our home. Welcome home the husband, be delighted to see the children in the morning; you know, be glad about these people!  

Our home is serving. The bed and breakfast staff waited on our every need. They knew what car you owned and serviced your room while you were out. They brought you a beautiful dessert before bed.  I try to serve my family and meet their needs. Meals, clothing, cleaning are all part of that. 

How we're different:
Our home is not quiet. We have two wild Indians, I mean, small boys who live here. They play harmonicas, beat pots and pans, and listen to Bob and Larry music (VeggieTales) almost nonstop. But I do seek a peaceful atmosphere in our home. We listen to calm music during dinner and I try to keep a peaceful spirit since I am the spirit of our home. 

Our home is not magazine worthy. We have a limited decorating budget. We have a homeschool starting here. We have children's toys and books. But it's still beautiful. It's neat and organized and the children are learning to keep their spaces that same way.

I can fill my home with love-God's love, because mine is not enough. I am confronted with that fact every day. I can love what God has given me to do and this home where I do most of it. Home is the center of our lives. I want to pour my heart into it. 

The season of life you are in will greatly impact whether or not your home looks like a bed and breakfast. But we can always work on making our home feel like a bed and breakfast: welcoming, peaceful, personal. 

Consider how you greet your family in the morning and when they come home.  Are basic needs cared for? What can you change to make your home a little more like a haven designed specifically for your family? After all, YOU are the expert on your family.