Thursday, July 9, 2015

Where Do You Get Advice?

When we were rescreening our back porch Justin commented on how easy it is to learn how to do something in 2015. Before the internet you had to find a skilled person and have them teach you. Now you can just watch a video on YouTube; he's done that for a lot of home repair projects. 

When it comes to skills I'm not picky about who I learn from. A person with a life I don't want can teach me how to code or cook or design airplanes. I can learn chord theory, computer programming, and grant research from someone who has a fundamentally different approach to life. It doesn't make one bit of difference. 

However when it comes to life advice I am very picky about who I listen to. I don't take advice on marriage, child-rearing, or priority setting from just anyone. 

For example (and this really happened to me) if a woman tells me she's pregnant for the second time and her boyfriend isn't talking to her I don't want relationship advice from her. I don't think I'm better than her but I don't want to follow that path.  Make sense? I'm not going to take advice about my kids from someone with no children. I'm not going to take advice about managing my time or prioritizing from someone who watches tv all day. What would be the point?

My husband taught at church about having a cabinet. Just like the President we should have a cabinet of advisers for different situations. Do you have a cabinet? Do you know who to go to when you need advice? 

I have a few guidelines for my life advisers. I want to know a few things about them. 

1. Do they believe the Bible? I approach life from a Biblical worldview. That means I don't want advice from someone who doesn't believe the Bible. 

2. Does their walk back up their talk? Don't give me marriage advice that you aren't following. I won't ask you about raising kids if you don't enjoy being a parent. 

3. Are they discreet? I don't want my problems or concerns told to the world. I'm going to seek advice from people who will hold my words close and not share them. 

4. Will they tell me the truth? The last thing I need is someone who will agree with me. I need someone to call me out on my sin and point out problems in my life. Some people are unwilling to do that. 

Pick the people that you allow to speak into your life carefully. Choose people who speak words of truth and substance. Choose people who care about you and your family. Life is too important to take advice from the wrong people. 

What about you? Where do you seek advice? 

3 comments:

  1. Brad first, a couple of girl friends, and of course my Mama! I totally agree with you on all of your points regarding life advisers. I put my trust in some that didn't meet those standards and ultimately was left hurt in the aftermath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who can't be trusted and who don't have your best interests in mind!

      Delete
  2. Brad first, a couple of girl friends, and of course my Mama! I totally agree with you on all of your points regarding life advisers. I put my trust in some that didn't meet those standards and ultimately was left hurt in the aftermath.

    ReplyDelete