Thursday, January 16, 2014

Better With Age: The Root of Insecurity

Most of the time I'm pretty comfortable with who I am. (At least compared to previous stages of life. I'm sure I'll look back on this and laugh.) But I only stay in this spot by monitoring my thoughts and speaking truth to myself when I get out of line. I have friends in different stages of life and with different skills and I cannot compare myself to them. I cannot compare myself to "her." 

Isn't that the root of insecurity? Comparison? 

I look at her and I see what I'm not doing. 
I look at her and see something that I'm not. 
I look at her and see a skill I do not possess. 
I look at her and see a stage of life I'm not in. 

Why am I looking at her? I am supposed to run my race and she is supposed to run hers. I don't glorify God by comparing myself to her. I don't love her by comparing myself to her. 

photo courtesy of imagerymajestic/

Comparison makes me proud or depressed. There's no in-between. So why do I compare? In the hopes of making myself feel better. I compare so that I can "win."  And then I'm proud and self-important. Sometimes I don't win. Then I'm depressed and hopeless. Comparison is an empty trap. If you don't quit comparing you will always be insecure. 

Perhaps the most important person to stop comparing yourself to is the perfect you that you visualize. You know the one you'd like to be if you got to remake yourself. Perfect hair. Perfect skin. Perfect size. Perfect skills. Made to impress. But what if we're not here to impress? What if we're here and we're just flesh and our role is to glorify God? Perfect me doesn't need God. Incomplete, struggling me needs God. 

Insecurity will destroy your opportunities and your relationships. Insecurity will leave you unwilling to serve for fear of being criticized. Insecurity will leave you unwilling to love for fear of being inferior. Insecurity will leave you unwilling to hold your standards for fear of being disliked.  And the main way to leave insecurity behind is to stop comparing. 

God has a special plan for your life. And for her life. They are not the same plans. You don't need to be the same person. Surrender who you are to God and stop worrying about what she is doing.  

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