Tuesday, February 11, 2014

A Marriage Story

I love steak nachos at our local Mexican restaurant. I rarely order them anymore because Kevin usually shares my food and he eats dairy free. That wonderful, creamy, white cheese is not dairy free. But my husband surprised me the other night. 

I hadn't been feeling that great last Sunday. Justin had been doing quite a few of the things I normally do and holding things together so that I could rest and take it easy. I causally mentioned after church that I was hungry and then he went to finish some work and I went to get the boys. 

When we left church that night he took a wrong turn and headed toward town. He parked at El Dorados and ran inside. He came back out with a to-go plate of steak nachos. Yes, I am married to a wonderful, wonderful man. 

Sometimes your marriage can grow when you need help, not just when you're doing the helping. My love for my husband grows tremendously on days like that. I realize how much he loves me and the caliber of man that I married. He's a great man. He doesn't ask for acclaim for the work he does for our family every day. He doesn't ask to be noticed for the way he sacrifices or the choices he makes for our good. 

But sometimes it's hard for me to accept help and let him care for me. I can clothe this in noble statements like, "I prefer to take care of him."  But really, do I just not want to feel indebted? Do I feel like I have to contribute my part to be worth something? I think there's more truth in those statements than any sense of nobility. 

That man loves me. We are building a strong marriage by the grace of God. And it's ok if some days he gives more and other days I do. It's not a 50-50 deal. If it was, some days I don't keep up my part. And some days, he doesn't keep his. 

In marriage you have to give 100% regardless of what the other person is giving. And it will fluctuate. Some days- or weeks- you will give 100% and it seems like they are only contributing 30%. That's ok; you're not supposed to be keeping score.  The tides will turn. Maybe you're giving in the little things right now. But one day it might turn into the big things. It may mean moving far away to follow God's will. It could be a cancer diagnosis. 

You can't keep score in marriage. You must go into every day determined to give every part of yourself to your spouse. To hold nothing back even if there's no guarantee of receiving anything in return. You promised your everything to that man at the altar. Everything in the day to day life. Everything in the big wonderful or tragic events. 

I'm not here to reshape my husband into something different. I'm here to love him. To support him. To care for him. 

And to let him do those things for me. 


  1. This is a very good reminder about marriage. Exactly what I needed right now. My husband works out of state 3 days a week and it can be challenging with children. A very good reminder of giving 100%. Thank you ! I also wanted to ask you what Bible you use? I am a KJB only girl also, but do you have a favorite type/publisher? And any recommendations on Godly music? Glad you had your steak nachos, yum!

    1. So glad it helped you! That's a tough situation; I'll be praying for you!

      And I use a Scofield for my actually reading/studying. I carry a smaller reward Bible in my purse but I'll probably always use a Scofield just because the verses are always in the same place on the page. haha It's weird, I know.

      I get most of my music from Crown College and Hyles Anderson College. And then we listen to our fair share of Veggie Tales on Spotify. I have my own playlist so I can decide which ones we hear.

      And steak nachos are amazing :)