Thursday, August 6, 2015

Why I Don't Blog (Much) About Our Kids

My blog, like many others, started out as a place to share about my kids- well, then just kid. See the adorableness that was baby Micah? (And that recipe is on point; don't let the bad photo turn you off. Or the bad writing.) I shared recipes occasionally as well, obviously. Gradually I started sharing what I was learning and how life was changing. Over the past two years it's turned into a serious project where I blog about faith and marriage and motherhood, how you approach your work and why today matters. 

Even though I blog about motherhood, I blog about how motherhood has changed and stretched me and not about what my kids are doing. I don't tell my frustrations in detail or share a child's name over a potty-training or attitude problem. That's why I don't regularly discuss Micah's IVA or related issues in detail either. I want to have the same respect for my kids online as I do for my husband or my best friend. I'd rather be overpicky about what I post about them. 

I follow true mom bloggers. I love it. I don't think it's wrong; it's not that I don't enjoy it. It's just not for us at this stage of life. As they get older it seems like that will be even more true. They are their own people. I want to respect that and their future on the internet. 

The internet is going to be around forever. Unless the future works out like it did in the movie Transcendence. But that's unlikely to happen so I'm going to treat it like it will be around forever. 

That means when my kids are grown they'll be able to look back and see what I said about them. Did I make fun of their problems? Did I use them for fodder for jokes and witticisms about motherhood? Did I resent the work that it was to raise them? 

Their future bosses may look them up online. What stories do I want them to find? I doubt any grown man wants his potential employer to read a story that involves the words "three-year-old" and "potty."  

So am I a mommy blogger? I don't think so, at least not any more. But I do blog about motherhood and what a profound change it's brought to my life. I expressed to someone last night that motherhood had done more to sanctify me than anything else. It was easy to think that I was an good person until I was surrounded by needy children all day. Then I realized that I'm hateful, selfish, lazy. I want to have my own way and not be inconvenienced. I want to pursue my own goals and plans and dreams and not be bothered with the "little" work that grows and grows throughout the day. Motherhood has exposed me for what I am. And it's not pretty. 

Motherhood is good for me.  Responding to the challenges of raising His children has changed me. But the stories aren't just mine. That's why they stay protected. 

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