Someone accidentally dumps his cheerios at snacktime. The cup gets knocked off the table at lunch. The toy tower gets kicked over again. We change dinner time because Justin has to work late. We change clothes and run lunch out to him at work.
Life doesn't
When it doesn't- whether because of accidents or changes in plans- we're trying to teach the boys to respond with "No big deal."
No big deal that we're sweeping up cheerios again.
No big deal that we're retying the shoes.
No big deal that we were planning on reading and now we need to give the baby a bath first because he had a blowout.
No big deal that we need to pick up what we dropped when we walked down the hallway.
I want to teach them that most things are just no big deal. They might not be what we expected or wanted. We might be tired of doing that particular thing. We might be frustrated at doing something again. We may want to be upset with someone who inconvenienced us. But instead we're going to take a deep breath and say, "No big deal." Because really- it's not.
None of those things matter and we can control how we act about things. We need to consider how we make others feel by our actions or reactions. We need to make ourselves enjoyable for others to be around even when things aren't going the way we would like. (We all know those people that are difficult to be around unless everything goes just their way.) So we say "No big deal."
This seems to take a lot of work to teach. But we keep going over and over how we want to respond to accidents and inconveniences.
It often takes me longer to grasp concepts than it does the children. I get tired of the monotony some days. I don't want to clean up another accident or sweep up the cheerios or change the shirt because someone spilled spaghetti sauce on it at lunch. I never knew how much grace and patience I was lacking until it was tried every day. It's easy to think that you are patient and kind when you are surrounded by adults who mostly treat you in a mature way. It's more difficult with little people who act like little people. Little people who don't know how they are supposed to act and are sometimes slower at learning it than we would like.
So I'm learning to say "no big deal" and do with a cheerful heart. To do it with actions that back up the words and give them the peace to own "no big deal" for themselves. If you say "no big deal" to the little things then you save your energy for the things that are a big deal. That's really a better place for it, don't you think?
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