Friday Favorites

1. The End of Mommy-Guilt. Let's talk about balance, shall we?

2. And we value our men...Just for my father-in-law who, after Monday's post, asked when there would be a post about men.

3. Because we do have a choice.

But most of all....I did the best thing this week. Well, last week actually. 

Are you ready? 

I deleted my Facebook app off my iPad. 

Now I still have Facebook but I only check it on my computer. At naptime and right after the boys are in bed.  
This move has several good points. 
-I'm not tempted to scroll through facebook every time I walk through the kitchen. 
-I'm more invested in what's going on in our home. 
-And...I feel like I'm more creative. I'm finding time to do other things...

Like this! 

He has a long way to go. I've only worked on it for two days and it's oil paint so I have to let it dry before I mess with it more. But I'm super excited about him! 

Happy Weekend everyone! 

It's Not Supposed to Be Easy

Expectations are killers. I can have expectations for how my day is supposed to go, how everyone else is supposed to act, and how I am supposed to feel and those expectations mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. If I can't even control how I feel about things how on earth do I expect to control how someone else acts? And you know what's worse? When things don't go the way I expect it affects how I feel and often how I act.

Here's a big expectation for me. It's supposed to be easy. If I were good at what I do- if I were a good Christian- then being a wife and mom, being a Christian would be easy. I wouldn't struggle with being content. I wouldn't struggle with finding my joy in Jesus instead of my circumstances. I wouldn't struggle with selfishness.

But you won't find that expectation in the Bible. It's not supposed to be easy. The Bible speaks of taking up our cross, dying to self, mortifying the deeds of the flesh, persevering in adversity. It never mentions only doing things that feel good or that you enjoy.

You're not necessarily doing anything wrong if it's not easy. (Now the path of a sinner is hard. See Proverbs 22:5. But I'm not talking about adding hardship to life through sin. I'm talking about life- the day in and out of God's will.) This realization is reassuring beyond measure to me.

I always assumed that if it was hard or I struggled then I was doing something wrong. Or there was something wrong with me. That's a bad expectation for me because I find that doing this work God has placed before me isn't easy. It's not easy to be a wife as the Bible defines a wife. It's not easy to be a mom that loves, teaches, and trains those babies. It's not easy to strive to be a lady that's outlined in the Bible.

We even see this in "secular" life. The activities that bring results aren't easy. No one expects them to be easy.  Working out isn't supposed to be easy. Ever tried Insanity? Definitely not easy. Why do people do it if it's so hard? Because it brings results. Sitting on the couch is easy but it doesn't bring results or change.

Practicing piano isn't easy. Some days it drives me crazy!! But I keep at it because practice brings results. Listening to music or only playing what I'm good at would be easy. But I wouldn't get better.

Life's like that too. Mothering, marriage, jobs, relationships aren't necessarily supposed to be easy.

Some days it's hard.

Some days I have to make myself do the things I don't want to.(And fake a smile while I'm at it.)

So many days I think "Wow, this is not easy." And then I remind myself it's not supposed to be and it takes so much pressure off myself. It can be hard. That's ok. God knows that I appreciate being a mother and a wife and anything else even while I acknowledge that it can be hard. It doesn't mean I'm not trying to be godly or thankful or loving.

But God is using those hard days to make me better. He's using those days to bring results in my life- to make me more like Jesus.

The goal is for me to look like Jesus (Philippians 1:21). Not for life to be easy. I am God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), His masterpiece. He is building, sculpting, honing me into something useful, productive, beautiful.  Sculptors and carpenters and builders use tools like sandpaper, chisels, hammers, and kilns.

Sandpaper doesn't feel good. A hammer and chisel can't feel good either. But it gets rid of all the material- the elements- that don't look like the goal. God has an image to guide Him and He is making me into something useful and beautiful and helpful.

Sometimes life's sandpaper. Sometimes it's a hammer and chisel. Sometimes life's just hard.

Don't stop because it's hard. Know your Bible principles and follow them regardless of how you feel. Feelings aren't supposed to be the leaders because feelings make really bad leaders. Relieve yourself of your expectations and remind yourself that it's ok if it's hard.

It's supposed to be hard.

How Being a Mom Is Like Being a Celebrity

Lately I've realized I'm as close to being a celebrity as I'll ever be and all from being a mom. I think I'll enjoy my little piece of the spotlight while it's here. 

How exactly is being a mom like being a celebrity? 

1. I have adoring fans.  I cannot imagine that anyone is more excited to see a celebrity than my children are to see me. Especially after I've been in the bathroom- ALONE- for five minutes. 

2. I receive focused public attention. People stop me in public all the time to comment on how adorable my kids are. Granted, they aren't saying anything about me but since people never stopped me in public before at all...I'll take it. 

photo courtesy of stuart miles/freedigitalphotos.net

3. I spend money. We all know celebrities spend more money than I'll ever have on clothes, tans,  and personal trainers. I spend my money on bananas, mushrooms, and new g-tubes. 

4. I get imitated. People dress like their favorite actress, do their hair like them, and buy that same brand of nail polish. (Not gonna make you famous, honey!) My children mimic everything I do! Nothing like realizing you should stop doing something once you see your three-year-old do it. 

5. There's that paparazzi problem.  Maybe that unflattering picture isn't splashed across a magazine cover at the grocery store checkout but it is posted on Facebook because, after all, "the baby looks adorable!" And then, they tag it. 

6. Talents are sometimes greatly exaggerated. My kids think it's the bomb when I sing with Pandora and hit some high notes. My husband...not so much.  

7. People are always tugging at my clothes! Thankfully, it's not creepy like it would be if it were strangers. I've never had to call the police or my bodyguard about it. 

I've never had any desire to be famous but if it starts to sound appealing I'll just remind myself that I'm famous enough. 

Have you ever noticed that motherhood resembles fame? 

What Changes a Life?

As I noted earlier Missions Conference is over for this year. One of my favorite things about Missions Conference is meeting our missionary families. We talk about deputation and life on the field. I play games with their kids in the nursery. We chat about life while we visit the bus route. And you know what I've noticed? They are *just* normal people. 

I don't say that to diminish what they do. It's amazing that they are willing to serve God and follow Him around the world. They leave family and culture and comfort to go somewhere else to tell others about Jesus. They are Christian "celebrities" and they should be. I want our children to know and love our missionaries. 

photo courtesy of domdeen/freedigitalphotos.net

But they aren't spiritual superheros. They are people. People with problems. People with difficulties. People who are growing in their faith.  It's easy to look at Bible characters, preachers, missionaries, etc, as somehow being larger-than-life or other-worldly. But they are people. And people are people wherever you go. 

I always had the idea that if you surrendered to be a missionary you automatically became a spiritual giant. You had faith that moved mountains, never struggled with doubts and fears, and had memorized the Bible front to back (maybe the index too!). It never bothered you to serve your family quietly without notice, respond graciously to hateful people, or travel far from family. But our missionaries are very open with their humanness. They don't pretend sainthood but they are dedicated to giving their lives to Christ. 

Jesus expects the same from us even if we live in America. (Maybe more with all our privileges?) We shouldn't hold other people to a higher standard than we do ourselves, even if they are in "full-time service." (I think all Christians are in full-time service but that's another post.)  So how can we be growing Christians even if we aren't missionaries to a foreign field? Do we wait until God calls us to suddenly realize that people are watching us and we need to show them Christ? No. We have a mission field wherever we are. 

Just a few thoughts: 
- Grow where you are. Maybe you would like to be years more mature spiritually or know more of your Bible. But you don't. Don't give up; start where you are. Learn a little today and a little tomorrow. It will add up. 

Don't wait for some event or happening before you decide to serve. Don't wait until you are done with school or until you move. Don't wait until you get married or have kids. Don't wait until you get a position at church or a new job. Grow now. 

-Serve where you are. Do what you can. Do what's needed. Don't do what's not needed. I almost think that one is more crucial. We are so easily offended if our service isn't wanted or our idea isn't used. Be willing to "not do" whatever it is if that's most helpful to the cause of Christ. 

We can't decide that reading the Bible, soul-winning, or discipling are only tasks for the preacher or the missionary. God wants to use us to reach the world. Kentucky is my part of the world. 

-Love where you are. Why would you love the people of the mission field if you won't love the people in your town? If you won't love the people in your house? 

-Surrender your all to God where you are. God wants all of you. He wants all of you whether you are a missionary, a doctor, a mom, a writer, a technician. It doesn't matter what He has given you to do, He wants you. 

It's not the call to the mission field that changes a life. It's deciding to give God every day. Today when you get up, give it to Him in His service. Do the same tomorrow. And the same the next day. That's the only way you could serve God as a missionary. That's the only way you can serve God where you are. God doesn't ask for less because you aren't a missionary to a foreign field. He doesn't care about your location; He cares about your heart. 

He who does not serve God where he is would not serve God anywhere else.  Charles Spurgeon

Missions Conference

Missions Conference is over for the year. Is it bad to say that I'm already looking forward to next year? 

Our Pastor (right) and Dr. Ashcraft- he's our main conference speaker every year. 

Mrs. Ashcraft got to come this year. She has bad health and doesn't usually travel with him.  She's a sweet lady and a very talented musician. 

My amazing husband recording the Saturday morning session. 

Now those are two cute kids! Kevin looks mischievous. 

Singing! 

My Micah boy :) 

Talking to one of the sweet missionary wives. 

Baby Kevin. He always points to greet people. It's adorable, don't you think? 

We had amazing sermons, lots of food and late nights, and just that quick, it's over till next year. It's always wonderful to meet our missionary families and hear about the work they are doing. 

You can hear the sermons here. And you should hear them; they are very good. 

And you can see the rest of the pictures here. 

Nurturing Our Marriage

"Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again." Max Lucado

Last spring our Pastor talked about wartime marriages in marriage class. They knew the value of time. They also knew there was a good chance they didn't have much of it. 

In America, we tend to take time for granted. People can live long, healthy lives. People usually do live long, healthy lives. But we aren't guaranteed those long, healthy lives. The Bible says life is short, like a vapor. (James 4:14)

I want to nurture my marriage every single day. I don't want to assume that I can do it tomorrow because we might not have tomorrow. Now honestly, I can't focus on this thought to any extreme because then I get sad and fearful about tomorrow instead of motivated to make the most of today.  But the concept must be there.  We are not promised fifty years together. Or even seven. We have today. 

So what can I do to nurture my marriage today? What can I do to love my husband? 

1. Smile at him. When he wakes up. When he comes home. When I talk on the phone (seriously, it makes a difference in your voice!). When we're mobilizing the troops for battle (i.e. corralling the children). When I'm tired. When he's discouraged. 

2. Touch him! Pat his arm. Rub his shoulder. Kiss him. Give him a hug. 

3. Listen to him. My husband has lots of stories. Stories about work mostly. And those are stories about his life. I want to hear him. I want him to know he's important to me. 

4. Laugh with him. We are constantly doing ridiculous things and cracking each other up. We'll probably embarrass our kids when they are older. 

5. Care for him. For me, this means clean clothes. Dinner when he comes home (at least the promise of dinner cooking!). A reasonably clean, if somewhat messy, house. 

6. Moderate our home. What does this mean? I was sick last week and I observed something. My husband needs me as a buffer. He needs my creativity for spending time with our kids. He needs my energy for being excited about our life. 

7. Be happy. My husband desires my happiness.  I cannot depend on him to make him happy but I can give him the gift of my joy. 

8. Make him the focus. When it comes to our marriage I can focus on him or I can focus on me. I want to make him the focus and die to self. 

And then I want to do these things day after day after day. 

Because one of those days will be the last one. 

Friday Favorites

1. Stacy Makes Cents chats about why they chose to homeschool. And they are such great reasons!

2. The Better Mom talks about sibling rivalry but I think the concepts also apply to general misbehavior. 

3.  The Matt Walsh Blog contemplates the work of a stay-at-home mom. (Warning: there is a cuss word in the first paragraph.)

Having a job is necessary for some — it is for me — but it isn’t liberating or empowering. Whatever your job is — you are expendable. You are a number. You are a calculation. You are a servant. You can be replaced, and you will be replaced eventually. Am I being harsh? No, I’m being someone who has a job. I’m being real.
If your mother quit her role as mother, entire lives would be turned upside down; society would suffer greatly. The ripples of that tragedy would be felt for generations. If she quit her job as a computer analyst, she’d be replaced in four days and nobody would care. Same goes for you and me. We have freedom and power in the home, not the office. But we are zombies, so we can not see that.

4. Missions Conference starts tonight! And here's the intro video

5. I "made" some new school materials for our preschool. 

We're going to start working on the days of the week. I'm not sure how much of this Micah has already grasped. He seems to be fairly up on what we are supposed to be doing each day. 

He knows his letters and now he knows these numbers. (He told them to Justin at dinner.) He's a sharp little fellow; he probably knows all of them already. 

6. There is no pinterest-worthy craft or materials idea happening here. I have grand ideas in my head but they involve time and materials that I don't always have on hand. It's better to do it  (and in decent fashion, I must say) than to never do it because I have waiting for a perfected idea. 

7. Bed Art! It's the little things. Justin has mentioned how nice it looks both days that I've done this so I'll continue. 

I just folded Micah's blankets and propped up his stuffed animals and positioned them on his bed. Justin said it looked like a fancy hotel. 

8. I've wanted to work on setting weekly goals for some time now and I found a great method that I want to try. Do. Read. Learn. Be. I think I'll try setting them sometime on Sunday for upcoming week. 

9. This week I read Son of Hamas. This is an unfathomable world to me: I cannot imagine growing up as he did. It's an excellent read and an understandable (especially to someone unversed in Middle Eastern politics and culture) explanation of events in the Middle East. 

10. And we'll end with a Chinese Proverb: "Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still." 

Happy Weekend! We'll be busy enjoying Missions Conference. As always, you can watch online!