Counting the Right Things

I remember when I was young I would sit in church and count the ceiling tiles. If  I was sitting toward the front though I could only count so far back inconspicuously. And it wasn't that I wasn't interested in the sermon, I was probably taking notes at the same time. I have a tendency to do weird things like that while I'm paying attention to something. Justin makes fun of me because I occasionally trace words that our Preacher says on Justin's leg during the preaching. I don't even realize I'm doing it. They would probably diagnose me with some kind of disorder if I told the right people that. Don't spread that around.

My counting habit hasn't really gone away since I've gotten older. I just changed what I was counting. And if I'm not careful I count the wrong things. I naturally tend to count
-how many diapers I change in one day
-how many times I got up last night
-how many nights my husband worked late
-how many times I've disciplined a toddler in one day
-how many times I swept the kitchen floor

photo courtesy of tungphoto/www.freedigitalphotos.net

I think you get the idea. Those aren't the right things to count. Yes, they are there. But why focus on those? Why not count the wonderful things that happen? Why not count
-how many times Micah ran up and hugged me
-how many times Kevin squealed when he saw me
-how many times God spoke to me through His Word
-how many times my husband did something sweet just because he loves me
-how many books I read with my babies
-how many meals we've enjoyed around our table

You see the difference? Much of my attitude comes down to what I am focusing on. I can see the sunshine coming in my kitchen in the morning or the dishes that need to be unloaded...again. I can see the fun times we had dirtying the clothes or the pile of dirty laundry. I want my focus to be right so that I bless my family!

Days I Don't Feel Pretty

I have some weeks days when I don't feel pretty. I don't like my hair. I don't like my face. I don't like the way my clothes look. You ever been there? From my observations and questioning this is pretty universal to females. This used to get me really down and it was all I could think about. I was just sure that everybody else thought I looked pretty bad too. But you know what? Nobody really pays that much attention to me. And if they do, they are not as hard on me as I am on myself. So now I have a new approach.

1. Do my best. Even when I don't feel like it's helping, I still fix my hair and makeup. Why give up totally? This is something I do every day; it's a nice habit to have. Just do your thing anyway!

Photo Credit

2. Forget about it and smile. I purposefully look in the mirror, say I did the best I could, and go on with life. Smile. Seriously, try it. There's an old song that plays on one of my Pandora stations that says, "It's what you wear from ear to ear, and not from head to toe!" And that's so true. The prettiest people can appear very unattractive if they look grumpy. (And I have a thing about the grumpy mom of little children look anyway.)

3. Focus on others. Now that I'm not focusing on what I look like I try to specifically focus on encouraging others. What can I do to help them? That gives me something to think about instead of my appearance.

Actually, this isn't a bad practice even on the days when I feel like I look ok. Do your best, add a smile, and focus on others!

Busy Times

My husband works in technology. This means that he's incredibly intelligent! Not where I'm going with this post though. It means that there are times he is incredibly busy! And summer, especially the end of summer, is one of those times. August is one of his office's busiest months and it's been even more so this year because they are finishing up some extra summer projects. So Micah and I have been on our own a lot. Now this is not our preference; we miss that man! But when there's nothing to be done about it, we make the best of it.

Some ideas I've gathered this summer:
- Plan fun things to do. Micah and I go to the park, go to McDonald's for fries, watch movies, go to the playground around the corner, meet friends for playdates, finish extra projects, etc.
- Make home cheerful and pleasant for when Justin is here. I want him to enjoy every minute he's home.
- Don't make plans for when Justin will be here. Let him determine what he wants to do. I try to finish all our work while Justin is gone.
- Focus on others. Don't whine about not seeing him more; he can't help that he has to work! And since we're the reason he's working it's a little ungrateful too.
- Express appreciation. Who doesn't like a heartfelt "thank you"? My husband does so much for us!
- Be interested in his work. Ask a lot of questions and follow up with a "How did ________ go today?"
- Pray for him and let him know about it! All that work can be stressful and he has a lot of decisions to make.
- Be cheerful. I want him to know that we are here having a good time! He doesn't need to worry about us here by ourselves on top of everything else he has to do. We always go out on the steps to wave (and smile!) when he leaves and when he calls we drop what we are doing and talk to him!
- Involve him. I send him funny pictures of Micah, take him cookies or lunch, buy his favorite drink, etc.
- Make the most of the time we have. This might mean popcorn and a show before bed, laughing at Micah's antics before he leaves for work, etc.
-Find an appropriate time to discuss problems. I don't mention problems or difficulties when he calls or arrives home unless something needs to be dealt with immediately.
- Practice mind control. Don't even think that I never see him, never get a break, etc. For one thing, none of those are true and they are crippling thoughts for my attitude!

I read in a book that Jesus is always enough. When Justin can't be here, Jesus is! (And obviously He's still here when Justin is too!) I don't have a husband so he can make me happy. That is an impossible task for any person. I have a husband so that I can help him reach God's will for his life. I can only do that as I forget myself and focus on what he needs. These tips help me encourage my husband and model the right attitude for our children.

Although someone did suggest that I fake labor to get to spend some extra time with him! Think it would work?? :)