Friday Favorites: Home

Last week I had a morning appointment. I woke Kevin up and fed him and snuck in a few snuggles. Then I woke Micah up, changed his clothes, and walked out the door with his breakfast in hand. Thankfully this is not our typical morning.

I hear moms saddened by the fact that they drop their children off at daycare every day and pick them up for a few short hours before bedtime. Hours that are so full they seem more like minutes. On facebook I've seen more moms complain about the start of school and how rushed life becomes than ever before. 

And I'm thankful. Not for their situation but because I get to stay home. God has blessed our lives and we have made my being here a priority. (I know all situations are different and everyone can't do that. I'm just so immensely thankful that I can!)

It's so refreshing to be able to spend time with my boys each morning. We can snuggle and laugh and hug and have funny conversations about the strangest things. We intentionally try to keep a very unhurried schedule with them. I read the other day that "love" is spelled "t-i-m-e." I want them to have plenty of my time!  Everyone needs their love tank refilled each day and I can spend time with my boys doing that each morning. 

Justin and I want to raise our own children. I cringe to think of handing my baby over to someone else for 8+ hours a day. Guess who he would be attached to? I'm glad I get to spend the time influencing and teaching and discipling our children. I never wanted someone else to see them crawl first, hear them read first, or experience any of things that I would only hear about. 

Even though I go full-speed almost all day I get to spend that time doing things that are important for my family. I don't have to work at a job and then come home and try to see my family and care for my home and nurture my marriage. That sounds like a mental overload; I would constantly feel guilty. 

Some people believe that staying home is stifling to a woman's intellectual growth. I would definitely challenge that assumption. I have more time to pursue my own interests than I would if I worked a job. (A job where someone else would tell me what to do and how to do it.) If I weren't home I wouldn't be able to carve out small corners of time to work on piano or writing. It's very intentional as it is or it wouldn't happen. Homemaking (and mothering) is such a diverse career. So many options can be explored based on each individual's interests. 

Life can be very flexible to meet the needs of my husband. He can run home for lunch whenever he can get away and we are here. We can take him lunch if we need to.  We can invite a teen girl to spend a day a week with us for the summer and invest in her life. A paycheck cannot make up for these things. 

 I'm so thankful for God's blessing in allowing me to be home. Home for my husband. Home with my babies. Home to grow. There is nothing I want badly enough to compensate for the loss of all these blessings. 

And I don't mean that it's easy. I mean it's worth it. 

Life-Long Growth

But we humanly represent the Lord Jesus. Are you representing Him in a way that causes girls to want to be ladies- like you?  

Jesus chose to use people. That is special. You can always be what the Lord wants. and as you are challenged and excited about becoming that lady, you will never feel old. Be someone special.  

Whether you are in a rest home or whether you are a young mother with several kids, let God add to your life. You can love women and girls as you have never before loved them. 

These are several quotes by Marlene Evans from one of her speeches to ladies. For several years I've been pursuing the idea of being "God's lady."  And I've found examples in books and real life of what this looks like. I don't write a ton about it because I have so far to go but it's a dream that motivates me to study, to learn, to grow. I don't want to be your average, run-of-the-mill lady. Not even your average Christian lady.

The more I realize the truth- that others look at me and judge Jesus- the more I realize life is a serious business. (And I mean "judge" as exactly that. They are going to look at God's people and, based on what we show, decide if they want anything to do with Him.) It does matter what I do. I can't just say, "It's not hurting anybody but me," and do whatever I want. It matters who I am. 

It's time to be somebody special, different. And then tell people that the difference is Jesus. I'm not anything by myself. But all the people in the Bible were just that- people. Jesus chose to use people and He can change us into what He needs us to be. 

photo courtesy of digidreamgrafix/freedigitalphotos.net

My favorite part of the quotes at the top is "let God add to your life." I do a pretty sad job adding to myself. I can't keep it up very long. But if God adds it, it can stick. It can become part of who I am. 

He can transform my attitudes. He can change my tone and my words. He can prioritize my schedule and my work. He can soften all my rough edges. He can transplant His love into my heart so it spills over. He can give me willing hands for the work He's put before me. He can give me the strength I need to stand in tough times. He can give me compassion for the hurting, a burden for the lost. He can instill joy and peace into my heart. 

How does this adding happen? Being in the Bible. Praying. Listening to sermons. Serving. Loving. Working. We're back to the 'learn something new, then work it out' routine. Internal, then external. 

I could try to fix the outside. I have tried to fix the outside before. You know what happens? I put up a pretty front for a while, maybe in front of someone I want to impress. But it's not real. It's not real because it's not what my family gets. And who we are at home is who we really are.  But Jesus can change who I am. I just have to yield myself to Him. 

The best news is that this process will take my whole life. I don't have to attain perfection and then keep it. I can look back over the past few years and see some ways that I have really changed. Nothing major from the outside maybe unless you know what to look for but I know it's there on the inside. 

And I'm changing in some ways now. It's hard. It's a lot of dying to self and begging God for help because I can't do it without Him. It's a lot of apologies when I mess up. It's a lot of getting back up and trying again. At one point I expected a smoother path to growth. When God added I thought it would just "zap" and be there. But that's not how it's worked in my life. As He reveals, I must obey. Every day getting up and reading. Praying. Looking at who He wants me to be. And then living. Obeying. Dying to self and saying yes to Him. 

That's change. That's a lifelong road to being like Jesus. It's today. It's tomorrow. It's every day I wake up. 

Worshiping in Obedience

Yesterday in Sunday School our Pastor presented a lesson on King Saul. King Saul was handpicked by God to rule His people and still ended in disgrace. That's what everyone remembers about Saul: his end. That''s what people will remember about me as well. 

Saul's disobedience was his problem. He decided that he knew better than God. I got several thoughts during the lesson. 

1. It is of the utmost importance that I teach my children to obey. Regardless of any excuses. I teach our children to obey so that they understand what God wants of them once they are grown. I am His representative in their lives. I am teaching them to please God when I teach them to obey. 

2. It is of the utmost importance that I obey. Regardless of any excuses. 

But the next one was the big one. 

3. Obedience is worship. 

Saul disobeyed under the guide of worshiping God (1 Samuel 15). The first time the word "worship" is used it's in talking about Abraham sacrificing Isaac. It's used about obedience, not waving hands in the air or feeling good. 

I think the tendency is to "spiritualize" worship. It's an emotion or an experience instead of an action. We have "worship" services and sing songs about worship. We rarely sing songs about obedience and dying to self. But God wants us to obey more than anything. And obeying normally takes dying to self. 

Do I want to obey more than anything? 
Will I obey when I want to rest? 
Will I obey when I want to please myself? 
Will I  obey when it's not something I like? 
Will I obey when I want to get my own way? 
Will I obey when it's unpopular? 
Will I obey when it makes me uncomfortable? 

"Will I obey?" is the question. Yes, the desire to obey is wonderful but it's not always going to be there. Will I obey regardless of any excuses- including how I feel at that particular moment? My feelings do not have to be in charge of my life. They are a harsh master. 

Today, my work can be worship. I can move in obedience to God through my Monday and Tuesday and my whole week. I don't have to feel bad that I'm changing diapers and cooking lunch instead of sitting in peace "worshiping." In my obedience to the tasks God has given me I am worshiping Him. 

Being Different

To be different, I have to do differently. 

It's my desire to be different from the world. I want them to wonder why I'm different (and I don't mean weird just to be weird either). If I am absorbing and living by the Bible I will be different. My attitude will be different. Our marriage will be different. My child-rearing will be different. Our home will be different. You get the idea. It works the other way as well. There are so many ideas that the world offers that are just different to me. 

Here's the problem. I have to actually do things differently to be different. I have to have a different attitude. I have to live by the Bible. In almost all areas I have to do everything differently than the majority of the world does things. 

-I should love and and submit to my husband instead of talking bad about him or treating him like one of the children. 
-I should teach and train my children instead of sitting them in front of the tv or fitting them into my life when it's convenient. (And yes, we do watch some tv.) 
-I should be gracious, not sarcastic or crude. 
-I should be modest and ladylike instead of all the alternatives that are there. 

Here's the bigger problem. I don't like to be different. I don't want to stand out  in what appears weird to others. I don't want people to look at me funny and say, "What's with her?" It's uncomfortable to do things differently because people definitely ask about it. I do believe that's the point however. The Bible tells us to have an answer (1 Pet. 3:15) so I need to think of ways to answer these (often rude) questions graciously in a way that reflects Christ. 

photo courtesy of artur84/freedigitalphotos.net

So what's the solution? I fix my eyes on Christ. I seek to win Christ. I press toward the mark. I forget everything else- often by consciously putting those thoughts aside-and look unto Jesus. (Phil. 3, Heb. 12:2) 

Being different means I don't bow to peer pressure and conform to the world. It means I don't worry about what someone else is doing. It means I don't wonder about what someone else thinks of me. It means I measure my life and how I "do" things by the Bible instead of what's socially acceptable. 

Keep those eyes on Christ! 

And how do you answer questions about your "differences" graciously? 

BBQ Chicken

A couple of weeks ago we had BBQ chicken and I tried a new way of making it. This stove-top to oven technique is one of my favorites for chicken now. It's quick and leaves the chicken juicy. I was skimpy on pictures when I remade it again but it's so easy you don't even really need pictures! 

3 chicken breasts, flattened (size up or down to what you need)

salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika

BBQ sauce (I used Sweet Baby Rays)

sliced cheese (if you so desire)

Hawaiian sweet rolls

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. 

Sprinkle seasonings liberally over both sides of chicken. Place in hot pan with a little oil and sear that side.  Flip and let cook for three minutes. Then place pan in oven. That bottom side will get a nice crust on it in the hot pan. 

See that nice crust? 

Cook in oven for twenty minutes, then pour BBQ sauce on top and cook for five more minutes. 
Remove chicken from pan and then shred into large chunks. Return to pan and cover with sauce. Place in oven until sauce is hot. 

Place cheese (if desired) and chicken on a Hawaiian roll. 
Eat. 
Repeat until all the chicken is gone.
Cry. 
Make more chicken. 

Just kidding on the last two. 

Maybe. 

What's Real and What's Ideal

I tend to get these pictures in my head of what I want life to look like. Right now my big one has been that I want to drink something hot out of a mug while I read my Bible in the morning. 

Now since I don't drink coffee or tea this seems like a stretch. Maybe hot chocolate? 

photo courtesy of carlos porto/freedigitalphotos.net

And I would prefer to do this hot-drink-in-a-mug-drinking and Bible reading on my back porch while watching the sun rise.

I hate mornings. Did I mention that? Although I do wake up consistently early enough to see them. 

Let's not forget that my back porch has no furniture besides an old kitchen table and is covered in balls, shoes, and various toys that I try to keep semi-organized.

And have you looked at the price of wicker couches (which is what I would love to have out there)? That'll wake you up. Forget needing a hot, caffeinated drink. 

It's a good thing I'm not waiting to read my Bible until I get my dream scenario perfected. There's a good chance it might not happen for years. And that's a lot of days that I need my time with Jesus.  So what does my Bible reading look like? I've already fixed my hair and makeup (because I hate doing that and the later it gets the worse it seems.....and I like to look pretty before Justin leaves!) and I'm sitting on the bed in semi darkness reading on my iPad and drinking water. (Where changes frequently for me; that's not the important part. Just note it looks nothing like my perfect picture.)

And occasionally I'm also eating some chocolate. We're all for chocolate around here. 

It's good to have ideals to work toward. To have a vision to guide in making decisions and setting priorities. But life is not perfect pictures. Life falls short of our expectations. Life disappoints.  Days run short on hours to do it all. 

So decide what's important. 

It's important that I read my Bible. It doesn't matter where I read my Bible. It doesn't matter what I drink while I read my Bible. The Word is the Word regardless of those extras. 

It's important that I make my husband a priority.  It doesn't matter if our dates are movies and desserts on Friday instead of fancy dinners out right now. 

It's important that I teach and train my children. It doesn't matter if we complete Pinterest-worthy craft projects. (Good thing too- because we don't!)

Are there important things you are waiting to do until they are "perfect"? Don't wait on perfect; it never comes. Grab hold of your values and work them out in your daily life regardless of the extras that you may or may not attain.  On my 80th birthday it will be very obvious that I've spent time in the Bible (1 Timothy 4:15) and I'll be glad about that.

I probably won't even remember that at one time I wanted to read my Bible with my hot drink on a wicker couch on my back porch. 

Friday Favorites

Swiss-stuffed bacon burgers with homemade pretzel buns. Yum!! 

Our friend's hammock- too bad Kevin was over it by picture time

Micah eating fries in Justin's truck

Micah wearing Justin's work badge

The best bbq I've ever made. You'll see it later! 

Mickey reading a book

We made a crab headband at Toddler Time

My favorite shirt from when Micah was little! haha

A little boy and a country road